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Question for Bryan about my brother again

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Bryan, wait till you hear this freaky development! My father, (alcoholic, mentally ill, possible Alzheimers) is my brother's (alcoholic, sometimes delusional) Representative Payee. Well, it came time for the CDR and it was sent to my father in California instead of my brother in Washington. They know my brother is a resident of Washington, but they refuse to speak to him over the phone.

And don't this beat all: my father wrote on the CDR that my brother is "just fine; there's nothing wrong with him"!!  I do not know if this was the short form or the long form, but any rate, he also didn't bother to check with my brother as to what doctors, hospitals, he has been to. (No mental treatment, just a hospital for his back).

I'm trying to figure out what is likely to happen next. Can you explain this SSA page about how they determine if there's been medical improvement?


I did call the 800 number and told them the scenario, and was told that my brother needs to go immediately to his local SSA office to apply to be his own RP or else to get another RP immediately. This is not likely to happen. My brother sticks his head in the sand like an ostrich even if it means his own livliehood. It must be some sort of self destructive alcoholic avoidance syndome.

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Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. I sort of thought you might say that.

Since my brother had promised to call me by last Monday, and he hasn't, I would say that most likely the shit has hit the fan. Oh well, his case is not my problem anymore. I told him that he needed to keep getting mental health treatment and he would not listen to anything I said. I made myself sick enabling him before and I'm not going to enable again. I'm not kidding. I ended up in the hospital from enabling him.

Time to go to another Al-Anon meeting. Thanks much, Bryan. Will let you know if I do hear anything but I won't seek it out.

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Thanks, but I don't always go to Al-Anon, nor take care of myself.

An update: Really, really sad. Should I write to Social Security or not? Would it do any good? I spoke to my brother last night, and he is still just as delusional as he was years ago. He has not seen a psychiatrist, because he insists that his paranoid delusions are TRUE.  Also, in order for him to get to the local SSA office, he will have to have the money to travel there and he has no money for a motel. He said he received a copy of the Review that our alcoholic and mentally ill father filled out and that he's not going to send it to me because "it will upset" me. For instance it said, how much did claimant spend:

On food - 0

On clothing - 0

On housing - 0

etc. etc. My father also wrote that my brother is doing "just fine," and there were NO DOCTORS listed. It was written this way because my father is a very unwilling Rep Payee, and he thinks that this is going to get him off that responsibility. We all know that this is the wrong way to handle it. My brother was told he needed a psychiatrist to approve being his own payee.

Should I write or call the local office where the payee resides and try to get them to understand that neither of these people are capable of handling a Review?

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Bryan, my brother tried once to get a psychiatrist to certify he can handle his own affairs, but the psychiatrist declined, because he is not in regular treatment with him or anyone. My father has tried and tried to get himself relieved as the Payee, but they told him the only way is a psychiatrist's signoff.

You are right. I could write that letter to the local office. I could say that my brother is so delusional and paranoid that he can't even make it to a doctor. They've listened to my letters before; and they probably would again. However, I've decided that I'm going to go along with my brother's wishes on this. He wants me to hold off and see what happens. Yeah that's avoidance, and not pro-active. But I'm going to do what he wants and not save him this time. It's tempting, god, it's tempting to save him.

And then maybe for once he will experience the consequences, instead of everyone patching things up for him so that he never has to hit bottom as an alcoholic.

Will keep you informed. What a drama. Oh and the CDR papers are coming to me now in the mail on Tuesday. I'll let you know how bad they are.

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Here's an update.

I got a copy of the form my father filled out and it was not the CDR! It was a Rep Payee! Thank heavens. It did say 000 for any dollar amounts spent, and I don't know if that will get him cut off his SSI or not.

HOWEVER, I sent an email to Social Security and you know what? I actually got a very helpful, personal one back!

The person told me to write the Rep Payee's local office a letter and tell them what is going on, and why they should appoint my brother as his own Rep Payee because my father is not only unwilling, but unable to do it. I warned them that if they did not change the current situation, it will be a disaster if my father has to fill out any CDR's that might be coming.

Will let you know what happens.

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