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Food makes me happy.

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Well, I can relate, but I can also tell you that nothing will work until you are ready to make changes. For me, that was the dx of diabetes, which scares the crap out of me. For you, it may be something else, or it may never happen. The power is in your hands to live your life however you wish.

I do understand food as a coping mechanism, but it coped me right into diabetes.

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What do you do when you are bipolar and so depressed you can't find anything worth living for BUT food? And then someone says, You gotta stop eating or you'll die a.k.a. I'm gonna rip your coping mechanism out from under you, sink or swim!

I wish I knew how to end this vicious cycle of eating for happiness and could find happiness in other things. Unfortunately right now, food is it and I don't know how to stop eating. The idea of drinking sugary soda and eating greasy pizza literally makes me SMILE. It's SICK! I just wish I knew what the answer was. I've done eating disorder therapy, regular therapy for the 'issues'... years and years of it. Nothing has ever changed.

So now what? Just accept that food is the only 'antidepressant' that works for me and eat myself into oblivion, or try to self-treat? Abstinence? OA? FAA? CIA? FBI? Shit if I know!!!

If you are completly honest with yourself, does the process of eating and the food truly make you happy or is it the thought of distracting yourself by eating that really makes you happy? I know we need food to survive but it is all too easy for us to use it as a crutch(which I do), we don't have to eat crap, we choose to.

Is your thyroid function being regularly monitored? That's also important for weight management, I hate to say it but as people with underactive thyroids we need to watch our diets very carefully.

Is therapy perhaps worth another try, or do you find it difficult to 'open' up? I personally would hate to talk about my food issues with a doctor but I were feeling as out of control as you seem to be, it might be a consideration.


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