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my life is falling apart and i have no friends


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There is such a huge list of things going wrong for me or my family and i don't think i can take anymore. i thought that this morning before i went to see tdoc.

and then I got rear ended. cherry on top i thought. oh, and i have absolutely no one i can call to talk to.

for the 2nd time in the last few months i got rear ended. Me with the massive driving phobia. just what i needed after major illnesses in the family , a death in the family, a fire, my cat died, and i am toxic on lithium so i've been sick for at least a month-most of which i haven't been able to eat drink and a lot of the time stand.

and of course lets not forget the baseline of bipolar, ptsd, and any other assortment of labels that force you to have to swallow on average 15 pills a day.

and the horrible lonliness when you suddenly need a friend and there are none. and i'm all alone till late tonight without even my kitty to comfort me.

i can't remember the last time i sobbed like this. my head is reeling with all of this and i am so overwhelmed.

i really need a place to say all this. thanks for reading.

mrs l

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I'm sorry things are going so bad for you.

I don't know what to type. Just know that I hope things get better for you soon.

The thing that gets me through my bad times is knowing that I've gotten through bad times before, so I know I can do it again. Sometimes that's the only thing that gets me through.

I really do hope good things come into your life soon.

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Thanks Maddy and Supergwen- I really appreciate you taking the time to read all that crap.

Well I thought i'd tried to escape in sleep for a while so i took some extra ativan and got into bed. I got up praying i'd slept a few hours. but no- i'd slept less than 1 hour. what do i do now?

so i came back here.

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Oh, boy do I know--I am in the same boat, living down here with no friends--and horrid anxiety that cost me yet another job, so the depression is a nightmare. I could be going to a group meeting tonite with some nice folks I met--but the idea of driving there alone, and back, makes me terrified. I need to be in my house, my cozy , "safe" house.

I don't know what to do, either, which is why I come here. So you are not alone, and neither am I , and thats exactly why this board exists. We have each other and personally, I think I would be a whole lot crazier if I didn't have this place to vent.

Hang in there--I know it feels great to sleep, and the worst feeling is not being able to sleep. But just chatter to us if you need to, and things will look a bit better. They usually do for me.

china

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sorry you're having such a rough time. sometimes it just seems like everything falls apart at once. know that we care about you, and hang in there, and keep coming back and letting us know how you're doing, ok?

bean

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We should all move into a huge 5 star hotel,then we'd never be without people that dont understand!!!!!

*Sigh..........if only,mind you there'd be some good scraps too no doubt!!!

Hope you feel better soon honey,animals can be such great company,would you consider getting another when you feel ready?

I must hurt so to lose an pet,Ive only really had goldfish and you cant really cuddle them or anything so I dont tend to get too close!!!!

Much love Rosie xx

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Hello,

I mainly lurk on here but I did post one time and you helped me get through my hard times. I would like to thank you for that and just let u know that you are not alone. It will get better at some point and time, no matter how hard it all seems right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

smcollins98

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I've never "talked" to you before mrsloony but your post caught my attention because I have a driving phobia and literally no friends either so I can relate to everything you posted.

I don't know what to say other than I hope that you feel better soon. It's rough being down and I hope you rebound soon.

- Darrell

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Thank you so much everyone- i'm crying reading all you encouragement. at least i have friends out there in the cyberworld though many of you are feeling more real to me as i get to know you better.

your words have felt like a hug that i needed so desperately.

thanks, mrs l

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oh mrs lonny! my heart aches for you! im so sad, especially about your kitty! ;) van you go to the local animal shelter. i know its no fun finding a 'replacement' for a beloved friend, but there may be one there who as lonely as you and would love some cuddles from someone who cares just as imm sure you could use some warm loving cuddles yourself. i nwish i could be there to comfort you so for now, i hope these cyber hugs help you somewhat! {{hugs}} hang in there and know im thinking and (if it foesnt offend you) praying for you as well. godspeed and i hope youre feeling better and stronger soon. hang in there!

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again thank you to all.

i hope i'll feel ready for another kitty at some point- i am afraid of that "replacing" thing, because no kitty every will. i really want to love a new kitty for itself i think to do that i have to mourn for a while. i do wish there was a shelter where i could go play and cuddle some- maybe i'll look into that.

every time i think i'm cried out, i will suddenly miss her and start to cry again. i know this is normal- i mean it hasn't been 2 weeks yet.

does anyone have a suggestion for a gift for the woman we know who was with kitty when she died? (i was out of town at the time). How do thank someone for that?

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how 'bout a toy kitty. i think maybe one for you, too might be a good idea. like a memorial kitty. then you wont feel youre replacing it. you could treat it like your kitty's soul is in there and love it like you did when your kitty was alive. maybe thats dumb, but i know for me, i would love to have one i could snuggle with every night and still talk to and share my mourning with. {{hugs}} to you!

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oh betcsu its not dumb at all.

the only thing i kept of hers was her blanket and it was in a box which a couldn't bring myself to open.

when i got home yesterday after being rear ended i started to cry so hard and then cried more because i couldn't have her cuddles and comfort.

i ran to the box and held that blanket till i went to sleep last night.

and it did make me feel her and get comfort.

the toy is a great idea.

(betcsu, i think we were responding to eachother's posts at the same time)

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well one thing looks like it may have some hope pretty soon and that is the lithium toxicity.

i've gone down from 1050mg to 600mg. when i got my level back they had also checked my thyroid which is all out of wack ( i guess this could have contributed to how sick i have felt. doctor increased thyroid medicine but i guess that will take a while.

so hopefully these med changes will improve my brain enough to try to cope with all the other stuff. i'm so sick of being sick and a little mad that neither doctor thought of this as the cause so it could get better sooner.

thanks for the continued hugs. you all have no idea how you have been helping. thanks.

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Dear MrsLonny,

I'm new here and I founbd your post very compelling. I'm sorry you feel so alone with no friends to turn to. That is such a sad feeling. I know because I've been there...sometimes there simply is no one to call and sometimes, the ones you can call aren't really able to do much to help.

I sometimes wish all the lonely people could come together in one spot and figure out who might be good friends wwith each other...kind of a support system jump start...wouldnt that be nice if it could happen.

Please keep posting how you're doing.

Rachel

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You are right rachel- it would help a lot if all the lonely people could meet each other.

i thought of betcsu-i was trying to calm myself from all the crushing anxiety and my husband came in. we were talking about how i used to have a bunch of designated calming thoughts to go to- but they included kitty. he immediately got up and went in the other room and came back with a toy kitty that had been buried with lot of old stuffed animals. i forgot it was there. it was the nicest thing he's done for me in a long time.

then he went out.

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Like when I came home from a C'mas trip with a fever, very ill. My husband came home from work, asked about dinner--"What am I going to do for dinner?", his usual plea. I told him how sick I was--I was dying for some water, and didn't even have the energy to go to the kitchen for a glass. He came backto the bedroom where I was huddled under about 5 blankets, with a piece of dry toast, handed it to me, and went in the kitchen and cooked something for himself. Never said another word, or offered to do anything else for me.

Boys are stupid-sometimes

china

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boys are stupid with this stuff ( no offence to boys on the boards- boys with MI actually tend to be much better at it)

its a never ending battle to tell myself its because he's a boy and just doesn't no can't get it.

and try to appreciate the moments when he gets it right.

that story sucks china.

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