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I have had a crappy day and week.I got my mock marks back and failed everything (2 c eng and art)and 1 d (music) and the voice in my head keeps urging me to cut .I just feel crappy as I know i'm going to fail everything.

Also I don't feel very good about anything(My looks) and i did something stupid (kissed him with tongues with I reget and I know it will not go futher.Also we did something even more stupid than this)

so sorry if I bored you but I need help

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Hi,

I don't think that either grade is a fail, you gave both your best and got some pretty good marks actually. As for this boy, well, we all do things we regret sexually, and you're not alone in that. What counts is noticing the regret and figuring out what tactics to use next time. Like avoid alcohol, or private places with him where this stuff could occur, or learning to be more assertive in saying no, or not being around him if he pushes you etc. I've kissed guys, hell, I've slept with them, and then regretted it, or been dumped. Plenty of people here have been. It doesn't make you ugly or a horrible person.

I get the impression that there is a lot of shame around right now. But you know what? You are a young person and you are discovering things right now. We all make mistakes. We all set really high standards and get tempted to feel bad when we don't meet them. I am sure that there is a lot that you are naturally good at, situations where you have acted in a way that made you proud of yourself. Don't forget them.

That voice in your head urging you cut sounds like it is to do with shame. Can you acknowledge that it is there, and deliberately do something nice for yourself, like watch a funny film, or call a friend, or eat something yummy, or buy something small for yourself, or have a hot bath, something that makes you feel comforted? Is there anyone who can give you a hug?

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I have had a crappy day and week.I got my mock marks back and failed everything (2 c eng and art)and 1 d (music)

Gee. When I went to school, failing was an "F".

When I was in college and paying through the nose for it, Cs were not so good and Ds were pretty bad. But they still weren't failing. Don't be so hard on yourself. There can be improvement--I got kicked out of college at one point but wormed my way back in, kicked my grades up an graduated. The worst thing you can do is give in to despair. Sure you've screwed up and done stupid things you regret, but I'm older and I've done more and I'm quite sure I've done worse. Jail time, for instance, now THAT'S a screw up...

Don't focus on the bad so much. It'll eat you. Yeah, it'll be there, it'll be painful. But just kinda ignore it, let it slide. God knows I still spend too much time thinking about my fuckups but by "too much time" I mean maybe a few minutes a day, if that. That's more than enough time to waste worrying about what's done and can't be changed. I got enough to be worried about tomorrow, and that I CAN change.

So here's a thought: if you don't like how you're feeling, and you don't want your tomorrow to be like your yesterday, than make your tomorrow something else. And you can only do that by NOT focusing on yesterday--cuz if all you do is live in yesterday than that's the only place you'll ever be. Um. My feeble, twisted attempt at philosophy.

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