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so i haven't seen a pdoc in about 2 months, just got a new rx from my family dr. I told her i was dissatisfied with how it was working, and she asked "does it keep your moods relatively stable?" and i said "mostly, yeah" and she said "well, thats really the point, to get you steady, even if it's a low mood."

While i understand her point, and kind of agree with it, I also kind of don't. I like that when I'm not on meds, I can feel normal sometimes, and high other times. How bad elevated moods can be, at least then i feel good! I hate living in the grey world, with no drive to do anything productive.

Thoughts? Opinions?

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though you like not being on meds and being able to feel stable at times, being BP< you should never feel that 'high' feeling. that can only lead to nothing good. but i do understand your desire to not just feel flat either. maybe you can talk to your dr about lowering your risperdal a bit???? not too much though if youre dealing with psychosis but maybe enough to take the edge off. hang in there and keep us posted. and maybe consider getting back in with a pdoc or at least a tdoc. welcome to CB!

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i know exactly what you mean. I was on valproate for six months and i was perfectly 'stable'. i was also horribly depressed. at first my pdoc said the same thing - that stable was good, what we were aiming for. but i think the overall goal is to get to 'normal'. and to find the best possible solution. being depressed isnt fixing things, its just replacing one problem with another...

i tried lithium and it made me sick, now i'm on lamictal and i'm feeling 'normal' again.

i think you should keep hoping for something better. there are other options... ;)

berry

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betcsu; I do have psychosis issues, and right now the risperdal is doing very little to help with them. I want to switch to a different AP, because I'm also getting bad side effects. However, I dont have a pdoc at the moment, just getting refills from my family dr, who doesn't want to change anything because it isn't her area.

and sasha; I'm in canada and ergo have difficulty getting in to see a pdoc. I have to wait until someone picks up my referral and decides to take me on as a patient. I might get a call within a month, but the appointment might not be for six months. Also, I'm waiting to see a therapist, 3 more weeks til I get my intake appointment. I've been waiting since april, so 3 weeks doesnt seem so bad ;)

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You should never have to settle for dysphoria as your baseline. That's complete bullshit. It took forever to find the right cocktail to get me out of that state, but my current pdoc finally found the right formula.

I'm in Canada too. Is there a Mood Disorder Clinic in a hospital near you? If you're in a large enough city, you should be able to get an appointment within 1-2 months if your GP will refer you as an urgent patient. I would say a dysphoric BP patient with no pdoc is urgent enough. It's how I managed to get treatment without waiting 10 months.

Good luck.

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