Colers125 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 i try to write to let my crazies out. i'd love to hear what you guys think some color: i see black as the color of death even in a shirt or a hoodie. i see gold as the color of saints and clergy and silver the color of martyrs. i see green the color of love and red the color of the confused i see blue as the color of love and i think whales are the most powerful beings on the planet. white makes me look kind of tan so i can't lie and say that i don't appreciate it. the mirror: i look at myself in the mirror a lot i look at myself in the mirror a lot i like my face when it's in my reflection's spot i look at myself in the mirror a lot i shave to change the face that i've got i don't cut my hair a lot i look at myself in the mirror a lot i type quickly when i have something to jot because my brain thinks it's on to something i look at myself in the mirror more than the average person in their greatest days of vanity. sine: sinusodal existence means ups and downs and a continuum between them of all different kinds of middle grouns the scenery is changing and the eupohoia never lasts it just keeps on working it's way into the past and somehow it just flows backwards and i'm left on my ass and usually the signs and such simply don't mean anything. learning to type: the home row came easily mavis beacon guiding the way [i hated that bitch to be perfectly honest] how she never changed her tone of voice when she would tell me my mistakes she was purely business and she thought she was better than me dictating me letters using every key on the board the bottom still foreign to me the top just coming into view "don't look at the keyboard" she'd say well fuck you bitch-- i still look at the keys when i type. scars: i'm making new scars on my hands from accidental burns and i'm watching them grow letting them burst their blistery puss on my nuckles broken open from the exaggerated movements of my fingers trying to do what i've never been able to do with my whole entire life but they just give into the movement that i prescribe to them they just shut the fuck up and do it. mucho gusto: i thought you knew me don't you know me? i thought you knew me don't you know me? you can't have kown don't you know me? i thought you knew me once, you've taken a sip with me. we've shaken hands don't you know? what about from school... did we never cross paths? i thought you knew me don't you know me? it's like you've never been around me me. i think i know you. don't i know you? i must know something about you we grew up together we're of the same foundations i thought you knew. hunch: hunched down hunched down over a typewriter hunched down over a typewriter typing hunched down over a typewriter's keyboard typing my peace i simply like to write i like to listen i can't hear you usually because i'm listening to something else something in my head trying to sing but it leaves me complacently smiling nodding smiling yessing nodding mmhhmming until i get home and hunch myself over a typewriting and POUR and pour and pour and let it out and pour this fucking ink into a line as much ink as i can get out a click at a time tick tack click clack typing on a mechanical excuse for handwriting. depress: mixed state ethereal depression as i transcend into lonliness and regression one more time i'm at the machine click click click clacking creating noise and trying to believe that this mixed state dysphoria is nothing but a dream but the lights still go on and off and i'm not flying. the trail: i'm just listening to music sitting in a desk chair tilt lock off leaning back hands behind my head a non comformist to my life conforming to my thoughts dreaming of things that i should have long ago begot yet here i am playing the only thing i have any rythm on which sings that i could be someone banging on a drum or one of those guys who makes strings WAIL but alas i'm just a guy who makes ink into a trail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rzettler Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I like them. I also appreciate your ability to share them. I know that isn't always easy. Depress and scars stand out as especially resonant for me. Very powerful. There's obvious feeling in those, and that is, for me, the mark of great writing. Bearing in mind that I really enjoyed your writing, I would suggest spellcheck. This is a great thread idea, and we should keep it going. Embrace the stereotype, and let your BP inspire you. I'll help: Frantically lethargic. Heavy thoughts moving too quickly; The inertia is pulling me apart. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve@3AM Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Does a sentence written in a column become poetry? No critique. No analysis. No answer. It just IS I guess. An expression. (Where is "Stasis" when we need him? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rzettler Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Does a sentence written in a column become poetry? No critique. No analysis. No answer. It just IS I guess. An expression. (Where is "Stasis" when we need him? ) Well, now I feel silly. I gotta admit, though, that's pretty damn funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve@3AM Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I apologize if that seemed a 'put down'. And I suppose, in a way, it was. But I write both ways and I say this to myself. Overly critical and it bled out on to this thread. Sorry. Some of my stuff actually makes it past my critic to be considered actual "poetry" - but then I just criticize it for its "quality" - or lack thereof! Again, my apologies. Your feelings and meanings came through and are important. "my wrists itch for false escape" definitely hits home in its phrasing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Does a sentence written in a column become poetry? No critique. No analysis. No answer. It just IS I guess. An expression. (Where is "Stasis" when we need him? ) sometimes the breaks can explain why the sentence was written. the tower of babel wouldn't have accomplished much as a plaza. even though now we can't understand eachother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rzettler Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Steve: Doesn't bother me. I'm much more of a stream of thought writer, and will openly admit my inability to write poems. I was hoping to help this thread take off though, because I'm really interested to see what we'll get. Moreover, I thought you're reply really was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve@3AM Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 You DEFINITELY need help! I, too, hope it takes off. And Colers point is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 thanks, steve. if you wanna post any of your poetry, i'd be eager to workshop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bxt227us Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Oh WTF. This isn't directly related to BP.....yes it is. This circle of friends imploded 12 years ago and I still feel guilty that I'm not there for her: Tears Red White Clear Had a brother, he was older She shot morphine, in her shoulder Didn't hide it, she did not care Saw the needle, I was there Go on then, stick the needle in Push your medicine Cut marks on your legs and arms Needle sticks can't do more harm Go on then, stick the needle in Push your medicine 'That's illegal, there's no excuse' Go on girl, push your juice When you cut you, you bleed red They bleed white, those poppy heads It's ok girl, go ahead Push your meds No don't swallow, use the needle, make it last You'll loose 1/3 by first-pass That, and the needle's fast Go ahead then, stick it in Push your medicine You're out of smokes? And milk too? What else you need? I'll be back soon If you don't want to be alone I won't smoke more of yours I bought my own Not like you do But I know life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Tears Red White Clear "Had a brother, he was older She shot morphine, in her shoulder Didn't hide it, she did not care Saw the needle, I was there Go on then, stick the needle in Push your medicine Cut marks on your legs and arms Needle sticks can't do more harm" i like the meter, and how you kept it fresh at times. the rhyming lends to the flow nicely throughout, but especially in these first couple stanzas it sets up the mindet well. "I've seen the damage done And the needle" yeah neil young. "Have your white tears From your flower Mine Are Clear" the last lines really resonate well. the points are well laid out. and i like how you used tears as your final image. well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Exhaustion Exhaustion builds Something like Water Crashing into a dyke Gently eroding the Fa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isis Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 i see things in colours. sometimes pictures too. some days, it seems that the colours may take me to heaven or wherever that perfect place is. my arms, red from the energy my head glows yellow my words are white and so beautiful. i am dancing with green wind on purple shoes with orange bows and we go faster around in a circle until we are lifted up and UP and the perfection is exquisite. my golden orange smile is given to those around me, a gift. my fingertips, heal the people near me my appearance brightens up the whole room. some days colours are hiding. they take my memory they take my power they take my words and my life? my words are now purple and black a barrier between me and everyone who tries to reach out. my body is oozing silver it slips right into the cracks of those around me secretively inconspicuous but i know. the colours their power their supreme knowledge takes control. what once guided me to the light now pushes me into the darkness. sometimes chemicals new, shiny, perfect or almost. they fight the colours. but they dont know when to stop. they take the bad but the good ones too. and in any case the colours still know how to win the fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 i really like your imagery. nice poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isis Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 thanks thats just made my morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colers125 Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 i wish i could cry to do something worthwhile with my eyes and i dream i was blind because before i ever saw i did just fine and i feel like i've died because there's nothing left that feels in my mind and i fucking hate time because the minutes just drag on in a desolate mind and i wish i were high so i could fall from grace one more time though i just wonder why the medications that i've taken won't fix my life because i don't feel so strong and my friends they're moving on and i'm just stuck at dawn and there's a heavy cloud cover on and i'm pretty sure it's gonna rain today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rzettler Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Colers, I especially like that last one. It has a good 'beat' to it, and it ends perfectly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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