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Suicide and Logic


Guest Guest_captduffy_*

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Guest Guest_captduffy_*

;)

seems to me offing myself makes the most sense. My wife wants to leave me 'cause she can't deal with the bipolar issues any more. My BP is affecting my kids. I'm tired of dealing with my BP. I off myself my wife doesn't have to try to cope with me or leave me, my kids don't have to cope with me. The insurance will cover any debt, pay off the house, and leave a nice nest egg for the kids. Seems like a logical solution to me.

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Guest Guest_JackBQuick_*

Well I dont want to see you kill yourself so why not stick around and talk some. Oh and I would check the insurance cause mine wont pay on suicide

Exactly, no insurance will pay a claim where suicide was the cause/method of death. Statistics also show that kids never... repeat NEVER recover from a parent's suicide.

I so get where you are, but having walked back from that backalley so many times, I know there's more required of us when we're parents. We live at 150% of life across the board, we feel and experience everything and then some... that's our "normal." This is just an alley off our paths... come back to the path. ;)

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I second the post about your kids never getting over it. Ask the question in the Family Feud forum and you'll meet people who NEVER got over their parent's suicide.

Sounds to me like you're not getting effective treatment. Are the pdocs all sucky where you live? Can't you try another one and give it one more shot on some new meds?

Follow the path you're on and you won't see your kids graduate from high school, go off to college, get married and have kids---there's just a whole lot of history to be written in your family.

Come back and talk to us some more, please. People here really do care about one of their own. And you are one of us.

olga

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seems to me offing myself makes the most sense. My wife wants to leave me 'cause she can't deal with the bipolar issues any more. My BP is affecting my kids. I'm tired of dealing with my BP. I off myself my wife doesn't have to try to cope with me or leave me, my kids don't have to cope with me. The insurance will cover any debt, pay off the house, and leave a nice nest egg for the kids. Seems like a logical solution to me.

It doesn't seem very logical to me. At all. You don't seem to want to cause your kids any pain but killing yourself will certainly do so. Every time your birthday comes around, you won't be there. Their kids won't be able to know you and spend time with you when you are feeling well, and you won't be able to have the chance to fix things with your wife.

You'll be causing your wife pain as well, which you don't seem to want, as you don't want her to make the decision to leave you. You seem to want to do the right thing, though. If we consider the right thing to be gain the most happiness for the most people, you shouldn't kill yourself.

This leaves the opportunity for success in your treatment, time to spend with and love your kids [and have them love you back], a chance for reconciliation with your wife, and a chance for a good life, which I believe is possible in all cases, but can take a lot of patience and work. It's very hard and can be painful, but suicide is a final decision that causes harm to those you love and ends any possibilities to pursue your potential.

Now, you say you are trying to think about this logically. If you truly are, give the other side a chance. Talk to your therapist, doctor and loved ones. Pursue all possibilities and argue for life. There are many reasons you are WRONG, and I bet you can find them. I've only listed a few.

And I think Crowly is right about the insurance. Few [if any?] companies will pay out on suicide.

Life is worth it. It really truly is.

Reconsider and take care of yourself.

Luna

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Your kids love you, even if they're not able to show it right now. I suspect your wife does, too. Have you had any therapy sessions with your family members? Are any of them in therapy? It sounds like they could use some support - which is OK and it's not your fault that they could use some extra help. All people, MI or not, need help from time to time.

A lot of us have felt how you've felt. There was a time when you didn't want to commit suicide, even if it doesn't feel like that period ever happened right now. With some work, things will get better. Is there somewhere safe for you to go?

Keep posting and take care.

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yeah, suicide makes sense when you're trying to leave behind all your painful issues but.... what about the ones who love you? do you think they'll suffer less if you leave every bill paid? no. the void a person leaves when they commit suicide is immense and cannot be filled with anything. i don't know how old your kids are now, but if they're still little, could you imagine what their mom is going to tell them when they ask "where's my daddy?", "why did he leave us?" it's gonna be too hard for them, and i know you're trying to protect them, but they will never see it that way. besides, like the other guys said, you're gonna miss way too much love and warm moments if you leave now.

please keep posting and let us know how you're feeling, and contact your pdoc/tdoc/whatever as soon as possible.

hugs if wanted

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Call 911 ASAP and get yourself to a hospital where you can receive help.

You are more important than a pile of money. Believe us when we say that your children would rather have you than a pile of money even if it does not seem that way.

I don't care what is happening with your kids and your wife. If they are troubled and hurting it is not your fault. Your wellbeing is more important than theirs. It is like being in a airplane and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first. You get help for you to feel better and then your family will feel better.

It is wrong to value money before health, but we are taught that happiness means you have a house, a car, two vacations to the carribean every year, and more. Many people are with dept and in financial ruins.

I don't know what is happening with your wife, but it is not the end of the world to be divorced and single. She is not helping you in the self-esteem department right now so it is better that she move on.

And your kids...what is going on with them? They are resilliant little buggers. If your BP is affecting them, so what! They are growing up and life with adversity makes them stronger. You are a compasionate person and I am sure they know this regardless if your illness makes life difficult. If they are rebellious, moody, angry...then that is okay because that is the job duty of being a child.

There are better days ahead. Call you psychiatrist for an emegency appointment so that you can get yourself to a better place.

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;)

seems to me offing myself makes the most sense. My wife wants to leave me 'cause she can't deal with the bipolar issues any more. My BP is affecting my kids. I'm tired of dealing with my BP. I off myself my wife doesn't have to try to cope with me or leave me, my kids don't have to cope with me. The insurance will cover any debt, pay off the house, and leave a nice nest egg for the kids. Seems like a logical solution to me.

No, this line of thinking is your illness talking, not you.

I know about being very ill and everyone around me not understanding and being frustrated to the point of being disgusted.

Someone asked me the other day what was one of the things I was most proud about. I said that when everyone and everything else was falling away, deep down inside, I held on.

I am not in such pain anymore. My loved ones are coming back around and are enjoying spending time with me.

Friend, I am treatment resistant and it took me a long time to feel better.

I'm so glad I held on. Many days, life is beautiful again.

Don't give up on yourself when everyone else has. I'm betting that you can make a come back with the right treatment. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right meds.

My mother died by her own hand at the age of twenty-nine. I was ten. I'm forty-one now. I sure have missed her for a long time.

Hang on Friend,

SunshineOutside

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It seems logical at first. When depression takes hold, I am always thinking about it, because thats just an ejector seat for pain. The real problem is that when I get depressed I do not do anything, then I feel worthless, when I feel worthless I feel "they " would be better off. Problem with that thinking is that I do not know what they really think. Maybe they are frustrated with me, maybe they feel let down, but would they want to see me dead? I seroiusly doubt it. My husband knows about my OCDish suicidal thoughts, he reminds me it is no solution.

One thing that stopped my dad from pulling the trigger was that we were all asleep in the house and he did not want us to find him. Our loved ones are really the ones that keep us alive-bottom line. The only logical thought here is that when I get suicidal thoughts, its just a reminder to me that my therapy is NOT working, and something needs to be done.

Suicidal thoughts=barometer of depression.

not reality.

Peace-

gentledove

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Guest Guest_captduffy_*

(Warren Zevon & Jorge Calderon)

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath

Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less

Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun

Keep me in your heart for awhile

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sometimes when you're doing simple things

around the house

Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on

your blouse

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams

Touch me as I fall into view

When the winter comes keep the fires lit

And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream

Keep me in your heart for awhile

These wheels keep turning but they're running out

of steam

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo

Keep me in your heart for awhile

Keep me in your heart for awhile

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I'm glad that you're back. I hope I didn't sound snotty. I sincerely worry about every person on Crazyboards who talks about suicide and keep hoping that they will just give it one more day.

Thank you for letting us know you're still with us.

olga

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I can relate to Capain Duffy because that is sort of where I am right now....due to the stress/depression I am going through and all the awful decisions I have made in my life, I am feeling like everybody in my life would be better if I were not around. I started therapy about six weeks ago and it helps...but I still have that constant voice in my head telling me to just pack it in now.

I understand that it is the depression talking... and I am able to redirect those feelings/thoughts, however, in the back of my mind, the thought of no longer being here is always there.

Does it get better? I hope so. I don't want to die as much as I want the feelings of shame and despair to go away.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I can relate to Capain Duffy because that is sort of where I am right now....due to the stress/depression I am going through and all the awful decisions I have made in my life, I am feeling like everybody in my life would be better if I were not around. I started therapy about six weeks ago and it helps...but I still have that constant voice in my head telling me to just pack it in now.

I understand that it is the depression talking... and I am able to redirect those feelings/thoughts, however, in the back of my mind, the thought of no longer being here is always there.

Does it get better? I hope so. I don't want to die as much as I want the feelings of shame and despair to go away.

I posted this a month ago and I am still having on/off intense feelings of suicide....how pathetic am i? ...it seems to be the constant thought I have....will it ever go away or will i have to choose to either accept it or choose to act on it???!!

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I agree that it is the disease talking. and when it takes over it "seems" logical. the thing is i always say how when you are so down you can't remember what it feels like to feel better and that things will change.

For me when I've been in that place where it seems to be so logical- I remember that statistacaly (sp?) , children of- or close relatives of a person who committs suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves.

I believe the thought of my beautiful nieces and nephews has kept me going more than once.

It is a legacy I do NOT want to leave them. and then I get to an er.

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I agree that it is the disease talking. and when it takes over it "seems" logical. the thing is i always say how when you are so down you can't remember what it feels like to feel better and that things will change.

For me when I've been in that place where it seems to be so logical- I remember that statistacaly (sp?) , children of- or close relatives of a person who committs suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves.

I believe the thought of my beautiful nieces and nephews has kept me going more than once.

It is a legacy I do NOT want to leave them. and then I get to an er.

I think of my kids and my nieces/nephews as well...and again, logically, that should be enough, but I still find myself rationalizing my thoughts with "they are better off without me than with me" and "they will get over it". I know it is not logical or accurate.

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