reco50 Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Please no comments about the dangers, shouldn't do it, were not Pdocs nor pharmacists here etc. etc. My RXed meds are Lexapro - wellbutrin - Trazodone - cloneazepam - xanax - all at varying doseages. Sometimes if I want to see daylight the next day, this is what I do. I double up on the cloneazepam(2mgs) I might add in some Oxazepam and then I hit my previous med stash. This includes Seroquel - Risperdal - Zyprexa and afew others, I dont take every single one I mix and match as I feel right. Different doses. Do I know this wrong - Fucking right I do!! does this stop me - no way - When getting through the next 24 hours is all that matters, you do desperate things. This works for me - so far no ill effects. This is my body and dammit I 'll do what I want to it (within reason) Also I am in no way suicidal just desperate for some peace - I have seen 2 Pdocs in the last week and told them what I do sometimes.I confessed to them, I sometimes take a survival cocktail, All they said is thats not good. Next week I see even another Pdoc. Tell me what might happen - I dont load way up on the dosages, just a little here, a little there, somedddbody came down on me in a previous post "We are not doctors or pharmacists we cant advise you on extra drug use - well no guff - thats not what I was expecting - I believe in airing our thoughts however fucked up they may be. So I'll just go on listening to the most depressing music I can find and visiting my number one ME site and yes sometimes I WILL SELF MEDICATE if thats what it takes. If you guys want to shit all over this then I welcome your thoughts. Have we not all done it at one time or another I cherish this support group and thats why my heart bleeds my pain to you fellow suffers (above post) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resonance Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 What do you want? You're posting on a support forum, but asking us not to give you support. You're doing things you know are dangerous and stupid, and you're telling us we shouldn't express concern. You've seen two pdocs who've told you what a stupid thing you're doing, and you're about to see another, who will probably tell you the same. We're here to support people getting the help they need to be mentally healthy, not to offer fake legitimacy for poor judgment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wake me when i'm dead Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Please no comments about the dangers, shouldn't do it, were not Pdocs nor pharmacists here etc. etc. My RXed meds are Lexapro - wellbutrin - Trazodone - cloneazepam - xanax - all at varying doseages. Sometimes if I want to see daylight the next day, this is what I do. I double up on the cloneazepam(2mgs) I might add in some Oxazepam and then I hit my previous med stash. This includes Seroquel - Risperdal - Zyprexa and afew others, I dont take every single one I mix and match as I feel right. Different doses. Do I know this wrong - Fucking right I do!! does this stop me - no way - When getting through the next 24 hours is all that matters, you do desperate things. This works for me - so far no ill effects. This is my body and dammit I 'll do what I want to it (within reason) Also I am in no way suicidal just desperate for some peace - I have seen 2 Pdocs in the last week and told them what I do sometimes.I confessed to them, I sometimes take a survival cocktail, All they said is thats not good. Next week I see even another Pdoc. Tell me what might happen - I dont load way up on the dosages, just a little here, a little there, somedddbody came down on me in a previous post "We are not doctors or pharmacists we cant advise you on extra drug use - well no guff - thats not what I was expecting - I believe in airing our thoughts however fucked up they may be. So I'll just go on listening to the most depressing music I can find and visiting my number one ME site and yes sometimes I WILL SELF MEDICATE if thats what it takes. If you guys want to shit all over this then I welcome your thoughts. Have we not all done it at one time or another I cherish this support group and thats why my heart bleeds my pain to you fellow suffers (above post) i know what you're talking abour reco. you need to post this on a different board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null0trooper Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Please no comments about the dangers, shouldn't do it, were not Pdocs nor pharmacists here etc. etc. My RXed meds are Lexapro - wellbutrin - Trazodone - cloneazepam - xanax - all at varying doseages. Sometimes if I want to see daylight the next day, this is what I do. I double up on the cloneazepam(2mgs) I might add in some Oxazepam and then I hit my previous med stash. This includes Seroquel - Risperdal - Zyprexa and afew others, I dont take every single one I mix and match as I feel right. Different doses. Yep, that's fucked up. Maybe instead of doctor-shopping for support and approval for your current habits, you'd be better off describing what you're on and why and follow up with "and this is what it's taking to get me through the night alive, X times a month". Either something needs to be rebalanced in your daily cocktail, or you need a real plan for dealing with breakthroughs. If you can tolerate two benzos and three AAPs in combination, a single Thorazine or Haldol shouldn't be too hard to cope with (It shouldn't be too necessary either, but that's a different issue) There's also a couple of extremely sedating TCAs that have some AP activity too, but they might not mix safely with the Lexapro and Wellbutrin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liveoak Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I agree with Null. Heath Ledger thought he could safely mix Rx drugs too. I understand the desperation for peace, but mixing your own cocktail ain't the way to get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reco50 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Reco here: Mornings light has brought around a bit more sensability. I wrote the original post when I was fucked up and in quite a state. Maybe I was a little (a lot) harsh.Those gut wrenching words were brought on by 4 - 5 weeks of the most debilitating depression I've felt in 10 years. On top of that I have had no money coming in for 3 weeks - out of paid sick time. 2 Line of credits and a Visa card - racked up a total of $55,000 in debt trying to pay bills,groceries,kids,car repairs all because my brain has decided to see just how depressed it can make me. I missed a total of 79 unpaid sick days last year alone. The year before I was off work a complete year, at least I got disability payments. Yesterday I tried to get a credit limit increase on my Visa. NO WAY! I now absolutley have no equity left in my home. Its all been used up. I barely make just the minimum payments on these debts. I've had to apply for government disability 55% of my former wages and a 35 day wait to see any funds. I not trying to justify my playing with extra meds and reading your responses has had an impact on me. I may even give my meds over to my wife to hide on me so I'm not tempted. 3 days until I see this other Pdoc, I better make alist of all my concerns - maybe more meds are in order. Good point about Heath Ledger - If I remember right Anna Nicole Smith was taking quite a few benzos too when she overdosed. Sincerely: Reco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Reco---it sounds like you are thinking a lot more clearly. I think it's a good idea to have your wife handle your meds, at least temporarily. When you feel more stable, you can go back to taking care of them yourself. I'm sorry about all the financial problems. Does your wife work? Would you be able to visit a credit counseling service and see if they could help you calm down the creditors? I don't think getting more credit is a solution---it will only put you deeper into debt. See if you and your wife can work with a credit counselor. (At a non-profit place, not one of the shady ones where they charge a big fee). I'm glad you didn't do any lasting damage with your drugs. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oppalgrits Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Reco, Talking about self-medicating? Most days that's me. I have long been a self-medicater & come from a long line of them! Some days it's just what I have to do to be able to get up & go to work. So I think I understand where you're coming from. We have good days & bad...........here's hoping you have more good than bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earthling Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 When my Paroxetine started to 'poop out' I increased the dose! It worked for a couple of days then I got a crushed out of my brain effect. Taking prescribed cocktails or even one drug for that matter is very dangerous. Self medicating is playing roulette, but with only one empty chamber!! You've got about as much chance of getting a combination right as you have of winning the lottery without buying a ticket, except that the odds of making yourself worse are almost certain. Leave your treatment to someone with at least some experience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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