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Slowly coming around


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I've been away for awhile. Yes, originally I was gone to scout out new houses for me and hubby to move to. Then three weeks into my vacation/house hunting, my world fell apart. I can't really bring myself to talk about it just yet, I'm still pretty skittish about the whole situation. But I am feeling slightly better enough to rejoin my friends here. I've missed ya'll so much. I'm just one of those people who, when the shit really hits the fan, go off into hiding to mourn and lick my wounds.

I'm not getting my PMs through (F-ing internet explorer) and I can't get on chat for some reason (did I mention I hate internet explorer?) so I figured I'd post a thread and let everyone know I am alive and breathing and thinking about ya'll.

Oh yeah, I stopped my meds. Finished a half bottle of xanax in two weeks time and decided against starting the Klonopin just yet. I need a clear head to deal with things right now. But I tell you what, having your world cave in around you sure put a lot of things into perspective. I can't imagine having a panic attack over a bad thunderstorm now. (Not that it won't happen, I just can't imagine it right now).

And yes, I need my meds to control the stress induced seizures, but like I said I can't afford to be groggy right now. I have been having monster nightmares these past two weeks too, but I'm dealing. I figure the more I get my shit straight, the less often they will happen anyway.

So my current situation is still shitty, but I'm don't wanna die anymore. Things are slowly looking up, and I am ready to socialize a little bit again. It's good to be back.


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