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Hey everyone,

I hope this is the right place for this post. Was not sure where to put it. I have been on this site for mostly depression related stuff.

The p-doc has decided that I am BPII with mostly depression. I was wondering how do you deal with this? I was ok saying to family etc, "yeah I have depression", but I cannot bring myself to speak the words "I am Bipolar" much less discuss it with those who are close to me.

The other thing, I have two kids 6 and 8 years old. How do you deal with all the side effects of meds and take care of them? It all makes me so sick. I am either wound up or very nauseous and sleeping all day. I do not really have anyone that I can count on to take care of them for me.

How long do you have to put up with that before your body adjusts? Is this something that a visit to the hospital can help with?

Is intense anger also a part of this?

I also do not get manic. I think I get hypomanic but am not sure. After being in a depressive mood it is so nice to feel good I am not really sure if I am too high up. I have not figured out how to tell good moods from hypomanic moods.

Thanks for any advice you can give. This is tough.

Dragonwolf

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letting you know you were heard

deal with it as you can is really the best each of us can do. some days it feels impossible. cherish the moments of hope, however meniscule they seem. love is the greatest and only need of a child. the parents on the boards can help more with the realistic details in between.

i'm on the way out of bipolar camp.

wishing you all the best

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Dragonwolf, i have bp2 and 2 kids age 5 and7. it is really hard to handle these things when you are not stable. Do you have anyone to help w/ the kids? I can't imagine not having help. thank God for those who help me and my family. Thank you those who will not read this! Make sure you are med. compliant and if the meds arent' working or the side effects are too much, let your pdoc know pronto. I hope this helps a little. You are not alone. oh, and when i was dx'd w/ bp2 i didn't want to tell anyone. it was hard to tell my family. they, like most people who don't understand, were like, "you arn't bp, your pdoc was wrong. i don't tell anyone else. i would never tell anyone at work. too much stigma. sad , but true. melissa

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dragonwolf I have about the same bp type as you. And I have a 4 year old. I only told 3 people about it ans no one at work. Your best bet is to work closely with your pdoc and like was already said report any problem with meds quickly. Antideppresants can take 4-6 weeks, antiphycotics are pretty quick like in a week or two and anticonvolsants are some where in between to see if they work and for side effects to lessen. And all meds have them its a matter of finding those you can live with. But you started right this place is where I learned ans am still leaning a lot about my type of brain cooties. Anything I can help with just ask or pm me bye

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Thanks everyone for the replies.

usernametaken - you are right, i do deal with it as best as I can right now. What is bipolar camp?

mel1 - I am glad that someone understands what it is like to have young kids and MI. I have a little bit of help, could always use more. Med. compliance is difficult for me. Side effects just knock me out for whole days. The pdoc is a low income clinic doc and seems to just prescribe meds. He does not really discuss what they are supposed to do or how they are supposed to make me feel. I know that AD kick in right away and eventually make me seriously anxious.

I have not told anyone but one very close friend so and will probably keep the info to myself for sometime. It is just weird that I was ok with the depressiond dx but the bp2 one upsets me. It is like I am now officially "crazy", even though I managed that a few years ago when I spent a week in an inpatient facility.

Your post has made me feel better about my situation. Are your kids "normal" or do they have issues also? Both of mine are ADHD, have mild sensory integration disorder and my son may have a mood disorder. Right now they say it is too early to tell. But I am trying to take care of them as well.

Thanks for the help.

crowly19 - I know you are busy with a 4 year old. How do your days go? Thanks for replying. I have been lurking here for quite some time. I started posting when the doc wanted me to try nearly all the anti depressants there are. I do need to learn more coping skills for dealing with the bp2 dx. I do not like how saying it feels.

Are there any non AD drugs with minimal side effects? Does lamictal or depakote have horrible side effects?

what other meds are available that are in the same class as the above two?

thanks

Dragonwolf

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lamictal is good medicine for the depressive side

leaving "bipolar camp" is my realization that my schizoaffective dx is harsher, but more accurate and therefore easier to deal with. wonder what a bipolar summer camp would be like?

i've been watching too much CNN politics, excuse the phrasing

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DW, my kids seem to be okay. I fear sometimes that they will inherite mi from me. my daughter who is five, exhibits some adhd signs, but not enough to do anything about it. i am on the meds on my sig. The thing a lot of beepers dont understand about bp2 is that you get hypomanic not manic. no fun. high irritability, agitation, and anxiety. at least that's my experience. it's really hard when you are working to stay sane and stable. i just recently started working again and it has its challenges. here's one: i was told that if i am on any meds. i have to tell the hr guy. yeah, like i'm gonna do that. they can't really ask that, can they? anyway, you'll get used to it. therapy could really help you, especially accepting your dx. i highly recommend it.

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Hi,

Kazuma -- I used to have a spending problem and feeling real good a few years ago, but that was before I was dx'd. I was dx'd bp because my depression cycles. I go from normal or maybe hypo to depressed almost every 3 weeks. I do get very anxious, irritable, very angry/pissed off at the world also. did not know that it was related to bp. But I generally do not do really stupid things. I do feel like for ex. on my way home last night I was wishing for a porsch because I would have felt great hauling but down the interstate at 100. But I know better.

I am not exactly taking anything yet. I am extra sensitive to all meds. I tried all the AD's (lexapro, celexa, wellbutrin, zoloft, effexor,) the lexapro was the best imo. But I was told that it was bad because I was happy as a pig in poo for a good week. Then was anxious and irritable and not sleeping for about another onth. Everything else in that list made me anxious and irritable and panic attack prone after about a week or two.

I tried about two days of lithium with real hopes it would work like magic. It just made me so sick and sleep all day. And I really cannot be that way for my kids. Abilify made me horribly nauseous and sleep for a couple of days also. That is why I was wondering if an inpatient program would be better. Then I can arrange for my kids to be at a relatives house for a week or so that the docs can experiment and I can be sick there instead of at home.

usernametaken-- sorry I took your phrasing literally. I really did wonder - hmmm, what would a bipolar camp be like. I was thinking like kids going to camp but for adults. my luck would be same as being locked in the looney bin again.

mel1 -- It is difficult for me because my mom is an hour away and my soon to be ex sucks. I have maybe two close friends. My job keeps me sane and it is the best. I have the flexability for myself and my kids. Because they do have issues, my son the most. I do see a therapist and have been working on past a present issues for about 6 mos.

I do not think it is legal for jobs to ask what drugs you are taking.

Dragonwolf

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The only problem I have with inpatient is that it has its place like your a risk to yourself or others, or you can't handle things then its good, hell I've been in twice. But for a med adjust a week really isn't long enough. Lamictal I hear is good I didn't have any luck with it but a lot of people have an it ha ad properties. There's also topamax and tegretol. Just to name a few. If you find a good mood stabalizer then you can get a good AD. That's the order I had to follow. All other ways made me manic and anxious or irritable. Remember you need a stable mood to start messing with deprresion and mania. But your mood doesn't have to be stable at a neutral position. Mines more depressed so I have an AD and a mood stabalizer. Some only need a mood stabalizer some need an antiphycotic too. It all depends on you. I get a lot of info from this board and from crazymeds on meds. Hope this helps

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You are so right about the BPII hypomania--its truly awful. My kids are grown, and for the most part, the survived pretty well.

I read something in the new "Oprah" book, " A new Earth"--the child has a deep longing for the parent to be there as a human being, not as a role, no matter how conscientiously the role is being played. I believe this with all my soul--that I am a mother, with all my batshit craziness and things I do and don't do that are not like "most moms" But I believe being ME has been a gift I have given my children--whether my behavior was good or wacky or downright crazy, I was --and am--a real person who is a parent. I think this gives them a picture of the real world, and hopefully, both good and bad examples.

I don't wear a sign that says I am BP, but I am no longer afraid to tell people that I have a psychiatric condition that makes me particulatly suseptable to stress, and that I can react in different ways--in short, I am BP. I think its ony fair that those close to me know that. The important thing to ME is finding meds that work, no matter what they are, and no matter what my official "diagnosis" is. I want to functin to the best of my ability. Its taken quite a while to reach a pretty good balance--trial and error is the only way.

I wish you good luck, strength, and that you and your pdoc hit on the right combo soon. It will make such a difference in your life, and in your children's life, because they will see that a strong, good person takes care of the things that are wrong with them, and goes on with their life.

china

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Hi,

I wanted to thank you all. You have been helpful. I have been over to crazymeds to check out my options as far as meds go. I have a list of questions for the p-doc. I see a therapist and will be speaking to her again soon.

Life just sucks for me right now and dealing with it all is difficult. I am glad that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks

Dragonwolf

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I'm "out" about my BP at work--with my peers. The line staff under me--no. I know and trust the other department heads, but it has taken me about 5 years to finally be comfortable enough with them to talk about my BP. It's definitely a major trust issue. Best to you--it's a lot to take in, isn't it?

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