Dragoneatscheese Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Saw this on another site I play on and while its deeply shocking reading its also oh so very very true!...I think everyone should read this if they are considering SI or trying to stop... stay safe though peeps... am gonna sticky it cus I think its important enough to not fall off the bottom of the board...if this causes problems please unsticky it !!! * * * * * * * * * * * * * WARNING .... Before you make that first cut remember. You will enjoy this. You will find the blood and pain release addictive. Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily ...they will get deeper. They will scar. They will take sometimes months to heal!!! And years for the scars to fade! IF you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again...it will spread when you run out of skin. Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame. Even if you are the most honest person ever to live.... You will find yourself lying to the people you love. You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison. You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched. Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be. Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100.... Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting... Cutting and covering up cutting and just wait till that first time you cut "too deep." And you freak out because the blood won't stop...and you are gaping.... And you feel yourself shaking all over. You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can't tell anyone. So you sit there alone...praying it will be ok swearing you'll never let it go this far again...But you will and further. Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid the ER. And the better you get at treating your cuts the deeper they get. You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find yourself spending 20, 30 or 50 dollars every time you go the pharmacy. You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat everytime you go to the counter to ring up your order. Butterfly strips...three or four different kinds of dressings...betadine.... Antibiotic cream...medical tape...scar reducers...You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and no one will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things. And at the same time secretly hope someone will notice...someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies...someone who understands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 This is a pretty intense post. You did sort of warn us, but it has some ideas that trouble me. Not all people who self harm do so forever, not all people who self harm escalate in how they do it. I feel this is a very over dramatized account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow White Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Dragoneatscheese, I S.I and reading that doesn't put me off in the least. If anything it makes me feel slightly more tempted as being fucked up seems so natural to me, hence the S.I. As a warning I don't feel it's very good(at least not for me)but it is an interesting read. Where did you find it? SW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 um maybe a link to where you read it instead of posting it? it kinda bothered me. but maybe i'm oversensitive in that area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve@3AM Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 OK. I'm not the most appropriate responder to this. I'm a "dabbler"! I'm not "hard core" and will probably never be - despite the contents of the original post. The first line was certainly correct - for me. The rest...? I know SI is considered an addiction. I've gone through many 'addictive' drugs. IV heroin etc. Never addicted. (I loved the needles - sorry if that's inappropriate!) I feel a bit the same with cutting. I can definitely see it getting worse/more serious. But not to the extent of the post. But that's just me. I don't want to say anything about anyone else with different motives and 'satisfactions and levels of hurt. I do - sort of - think - relative to the title - that "IF SI had a warning" people would still do it, just like addictive drugs - because that's WHY a lot of people do it. They're not oblivious! Those things, just like the risk of OD death with IV drugs are part of the whole. The post reminds me of all the scares about heroin. One shot and you're hooked etc. Again, apologies to those whose lives are much more effected by SI and who actually are in the state described in the post. No diminishment of your pain is intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trg247 Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 not to sure who this would apply too, maybe someone who is brand new to self injury. I kept waiting for the "buy this book" as it sounds like a sale pitch but what do I know take care trg247 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBella Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Its dramatic, but it hit a chord with me. I haven't purposely SI'd in at least a year, but its been so hard lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemistryExperiment Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 I used to be like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wake me when i'm dead Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 i read that at this forum a few years ago. and i have to agree with snow white. the first, second, tenth time i read this? it made me want to slice and dice. not because it makes it more attractive, but more because i do si from time to time and i haven't gone that far down the rabbit hole. maybe it's a control thing. "look, i can still si and not go to THAT extreme! i win!" don't know. in any case, i can see the cause for alarm. but for me, the alternative outlet is much less impermanent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catcher Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Wow I can totally relate to this posting its almost scary - like the author read my mind! Granted I haven't cut in 22 months, 2 weeks and 2 days, I am currently having the biggest issue since The last time I cut. There have been many changes in my life since I last cut or posted for that matter. Biggest change being that I am set to graduate from the Practical Nursing program in June and am entering 495 clinical hours to be completed between March and June. Most of what the author of the post had to say are the reasons keeping me from cutting right this second. I know that stitches are a possibility, cutting on my arms is not a possibility due to the fact I am expected to wear scrubs stuff like that. Man oh man I wish that I could have read a warning like that before I started cutting. It may not have stopped me from cutting; however, it would have given me an idea as to what I was getting myself into. The frustrating thing for me right now is that I have many coping skills that at this very second cannot access. I am ashamed to admit that I am a peer facilitator for a group that teachers participants to live life safer. I feel like a bad person and a fraud because how can I convince participants to listen to me when I am so very close to cutting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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