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Hi I read your earlier post so i know there was some more to it-and I'd felt bad I couldn't think of what to say at the time, so i came back.

i can't remember the other stuff,but clearly you've brought it down to this one question.

The answer is yes BP people may think about it.The reasons are different for everyone with the common threads of things like feeling helplesss and hopeless. Are you wondering if it does or doesn't happen when manic? like all SI it varies person to person- they say the most dangerous time is if a person is dyphoric manic- they have all the misery of depression at the same time they have all the energy of mania.

Usually people ask such questions because its a concern to them. Are you manic? Are you feeling suicidal? if so make sure you reach out for help- let us know whats up .

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Hi I read your earlier post so i know there was some more to it-and I'd felt bad I couldn't think of what to say at the time, so i came back.

i can't remember the other stuff,but clearly you've brought it down to this one question.

The answer is yes BP people may think about it.The reasons are different for everyone with the common threads of things like feeling helplesss and hopeless. Are you wondering if it does or doesn't happen when manic? like all SI it varies person to person- they say the most dangerous time is if a person is dyphoric manic- they have all the misery of depression at the same time they have all the energy of mania.

Usually people ask such questions because its a concern to them. Are you manic? Are you feeling suicidal? if so make sure you reach out for help- let us know whats up .

Yes I was feeling like life was worthless, I deleted what I wrote as I was embarrased about being so damn emotional about what I was thinking. I was wondring about the common threads.

Thanks for the explaination. I was just coming off a bad weekend with anxiety, and I often get real down afterwards.

Like a cycle, I was wondering if this was more like BP vs plain depressive symptoms, which gave be the thoughts and questions. I was thinking all night what a stupid question it was. Maybe not.

As perhaps there is a correlation with the various reasons for MI's to want to die and the dx. I remember when I was very depressed...the reason was my life was

so sad and miserable that I didn't want to live. Yesterday it felt as if my life was just worthless, nothing had any true meaning, why bother living with this MI. Actually yesterday, I could picture myself as doing it with less concern. That I was not thinking it wrong to be thinking about death,this was the difference. The though process was much different, as I didn't feel miserable or painful just worthless.

Dusty

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If I'm not mistaken (?), don't BP'ers have a higher rate of suicide than unipolar depression? I've spent the better part of the last two years having various strengths of suicidal thoughts. We're not immune, and mixed states are dangerous.

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Yes, historically BP'ers have the highest suicide rate, approaching 25%.

I have not seen anything in the literature that indicates that there is any difference between bipolar depression and MDD depression. From personal observation it seems to me that MDD depressives have consistently low and stable depression. The bipolars as the name suggest may have long running depressions punctuated by very sudden and deep depression (which is where the suicide attempts come in) and after a time bounce out to the mid level depression and up into hypo/mania.

Maybe that seems contradictory, but I don't think the depth, or length of the depression equates to any real difference in the experience. All the symptoms are the same between the two types: ruminating thoughts, psychomotor slowing, executive difficulty (bathing, eating, working, carrying out house chores), withdrawal from social interaction, excessive sleep yet difficulty with satisfactory sleep, avoiding light, etc.

a.m.

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If I'm not mistaken (?), don't BP'ers have a higher rate of suicide than unipolar depression? I've spent the better part of the last two years having various strengths of suicidal thoughts. We're not immune, and mixed states are dangerous.

Immune, is anyone really. I suppose medicated and in therapy minds are less likely to take the final step. I am picking the BP's mind now. Some members think I am BP, or say I have the tell tale signs.

Even I wonder, think could I be so late in life BP. I am sure that I have not been BP as a youngin'

man. And I remember someone said late onset is rare.( I have my 2nd Pdoc tomorrow).

I just get so mad or upset with those who I have confrontations with. Shakey MAD and I can't walk away I am in for the big battle.

Ok, so we will call that what...Anxiety stage one. Stage two is the after glow, thinking of nothing else but the battle.

Then afterward, like yesterday..stage three, I get depressed , which is a good start at being real depressed. Foggy, withdrawn, with the want to die, they shoot horses don't they, feeling.

Heck, I am not self DX'ing, GAD is what is said of me. But A person just can't be a little BP can they?

Dusty

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Beep, Beep - I like to think of suicide ;) . Maybe not such a funny joke to others who think about it all the time...but, since I haven't been suicidal lately, I can laugh about the last time I felt that way. Weird, huh?

Um, and what are the reasons? What are the reasons for unipolars? What are the reasons for anyone considering suicide? I think that the devil's always at the doorstep, it's just a matter of who invites him in (losing a job, losing a relationship, losing a loved one, etc).

I'm not a doctor and I'm not going to dx you, but you have to tell your doc about all these things...thinking about the situation for days afterwards may not have anything to do with BP but may be more of an OCD thing (more on the O side).

Quit worrying about what you "are" and find out how to solve the symptoms - whether that be through meds, therapy or other methods.

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Actually Dusty- a person can be a little bit bipolar- well its a little different anyway- they now call it BPII- a person who gets the depression but the mania is refered to as hypomanic- which is less manic and usually less destructive than full blown mania- but miserable just the same.

Sounds like you are really trying to figure out who you are in all this. most people will tell you the dx doesn't matter- its how you personally feel and what help you can get. i totally agree with this, but i also have struggled with locating myself diagnostically- spending way to much time reading DSMs- the lists of criteria for each dx. I've also learned that if it says you need 5 of these symptoms and you only have 4 you can still fit the category- its not an exact science by any means.

I'm glad you are going to pdoc again- please mention the suicidal thoughts, and be honest about how you feel about keeping yourself safe. This is so important- can't stress that enough- if you feel the thoughts are getting out of control- contact the pdoc or go to an ER. the thing about these cycles is that when you feel horrible you can't remember what it feels like to feel better and that it will cycle that way again- again make sure you reach out- glad you are talking here- keep it up.

mrs l

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Dusty,

Just want to reinforce what the lovely MrsL has said...excellent advice couldnt have said it better myself!!!!!!

The appointment with your therapist is all about you honey

Talk about anything and everything thats worrying you take total advantage at having someones complete attention for an hour!!!!!

If you feel you need an actual name to put to whats going on with you then just ask,sometimes its a relief to just know that theres actually a problem,and its not just 'all in your head'which is weird because in this case it actually is!!!!!!

Please dont let the thoughts and feelings you had on Monday just drift away because you feel fine now,there WILL be a next time and you know that,you have to be able to manage better the next time it happens...its painful for you and those that care for you to see you in such a way!!!

Hope Thursday goes well,Rosie

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