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I have been having a real problem at work recently and I wondered if anyone with schiophrenia or schizoaffective or general paranoia issues could identify. I think my co-workers are conspiring against me, sabotaging my work, listening in on my thoughts. I hear them talking and even the most innocent things seem to refer to me. This is not good because work was always a safe haven for me until the nurse paranoia. Now it has transferred to my co-workers. It is not helped by the fact that it is a very physical and non-intellect involving clerical job - it stimulates my bad thoughts.

What I won't to do is stay at home where I feel safe and concentrate on my writing. I have had publishing offers for the book I wrote and I am just waiting to see what the best deal is. I also just want to study all day - do my BA and PhD, Intellectual activity is the only way I can keep the demons and paranoia away. Right now I feel I am capable of wondrous intellectual feats but coping in a part time minimum wage clerical job is doing me in paranoia wise. But I need to work to pay for education even though i feel being on sickness benefit would save my mind

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Edit - of course "identify" can mean "empathise".. duh, I was being dense. But you get the idea - what worried me in your post was how real you were presenting the paranoid ideations as

I have been having a real problem at work recently and I wondered if anyone with schiophrenia or schizoaffective or general paranoia issues could identify.

"identify"? Doubtless you meant something like "empathise" or the word I can't think of that sounds like "identify" but perhaps you made a freudian slip? Your paranoia sounds like it is growing and you want to identify the whys and hows of something that 99% of us are going to call an outright delusion. Hopefully you still have some perspective - you are stil able to call it "paranoia" anyway. I've been there myself - to the point where I had absolutely no "real world" perspective - and the only solution I found was the right anti-psychotic. By coincidence last night I was surfing erowid.org looking at reports on various anti-psychotics and I found someone who like you, was taking an atypical, which wasn't completely working; they added haldol and their situation improved dramatically with the paranoia and voices reduced to a level they found acceptable. I believe you've been considering adding haldol and have found it beneficial in the past? Perhaps it's time to get a new prescription for it as soon as possible before things escalate.

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The only problem with Haldol is that it pushes me into premature menopause, but maybe 0.5mgs per day might be ok?

I've had a good couple of days - no heavy interference from the nurses and no conspiracy thoughts about my co-workers.

It's very up and down with me, some days are better than others. On the bad days I just gobble down lorazepam ;)

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