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Do you have trouble taking your meds?


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I find that I take my meds fine for awhile, feel great and then find some reason to stop:

1) feel fine and think i don't need them

2) miss the "old" me

3) miss hypo/mania

4) hate taking meds

Then, anxiety, mild psychosis, other unwanted things set in and I scramble to take my meds again..... Does anyone else go through this little game?

Thanks for your time.

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I am pretty newly diagnosed with BP (Sept 2007) and I feel like going off my meds about every 2 months since my diagnosis. The first time I did go off meds and within 3 weeks, I wanted them back. I think I am on a good mix of meds for me now since I am feeling better. This is the dangerous time because now I feel like I don't need the meds, hating taking meds, and kinda miss the up swing of moods.

So, in response, I hear you loud and clear.

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yep. pretty often, and for all the reasons you listed.

what helps is remembering why i got on meds in the first place, and what it was really like before i was being treated properly. it was pretty miserable, most of the time, and if i'm honest with myself, i can remember that.

oh - another reason i sometimes wanna stop - i think that mood and personality are so much a part of "who" we are, that i feel like the medicated "me" isn't the real "me" and i wanna feel what the real "me" is like for a little while - which i guess would fall under "miss the old me," lol. anyhow...

you're definitely not alone. ;)

bean

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My main reason for not wanting to take meds is that I think I would have so much more energy if I weren't on all these pills. I don't know if there's any truth backing that suspicion or not. Also simple forgetting is a problem. And I often "miss the old me" and wonder how I made it 19 years without medication only to be told that I would likely be taking some form of these meds for the rest of my life.

Sigh. I hear ya.

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I think about not taking my meds for some of the same reasons. I miss the old me. I used to be a funny guy. i also think about quitting them because I don't think they are working. I mean I have been on them for a year and I still get severely down. I also hate being 25 and being on 6 different meds.

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1) feel fine and think i don't need them

The one and only time I went off my meds, that was the reason. Then, between decompensation and irrational thinking, it's taken close to a year for me to find my way back. On the positive side, I think that is permanent proof for me that I need to take them, so as much as the expense and side effects suck, I stick with 'em now.

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Hi -

I'm not sure how well I figure into this idea, since I was MDD for a long time and then was diagnosed with BP2, and now we feel that the BP2 hypomanic features were "neuropsychiatric" and caused by a brain infection synergizing with my psychiatric illness (that is, the MDD). My hypomanic states are very brief (less than a day long), and mostly mixed/rageful in character. I less often have euphoric hypomania, and it lasts about 10 minutes at a time if I'm lucky.

If one is to assume that hypo/mania can convince us out of meds, then no, I've never felt like stopping my meds in the view that I ever truly felt that I no longer needed them. My mixed states give me even more or a reason to hang on tight to the med-go-round.

That all said, yesterday, a friend of mine (who knows I'm MI) was asking me how many of 'those pills' I had to take. I told him that including vitamin and mineral supplements, about 20 pills go down the gullet (duplicates included). He told me that the amount was fairly intense, having to consume those many pills in a week.

That would be when I realized my meds may be inconveniencing me, as the figure I quoted was actually daily, and not weekly. Granted, about half of these are supplements, and a few of the meds require duplicate dosing. Nonetheless.

Sometimes I look at my pill box and wonder if all of this is necessary. Then I have to come to terms with the fact that not only do I suffer from depression, I also have sleep disorder (narcolepsy/DSPS) and severe AD/HD... and my neurological disease, which adds 3 meds in.

On my side here, the big thing that makes me want to stop is just seeing how much medication I have to deal with. But, I do know what good it does for me (I'd tried to quit a few times in the distant past, both times were trainwrecks).

Wanting back my "original", pre-2003, pre-medicated self, I've decided, is just not going to happen. At least as long as I plan on staying alive, and I plan on being on this earth until forces out of my control resolve my existence.

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I start to feel resentful of the fact that I have to take meds at all. I just want to be "normal" and not have to take anything at all, amd here I am taking 8 different meds. I have to take benzos every three hours and I HATE it. I feel like not taking them each and every time I open the damn bottle. I know where you are coming from completely. I just know how I feel when I'm non compliant and I know where it sends me. It's a scary place, and taking the meds is less painful than where I go when I get manic without my meds.

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I have a lot of trouble taking my medication sometimes.

I'm not always sure what it is. But my brain will go into this state of denial or something and I just won't want to take them. And it's hard, knowing that I'll probably be on them for the rest of my life.

Maybe it's denial that Im bipolar or that it's really that bad that I actually need to be medicated. Like me? Really? I could have that big of a problem? Seriously?

And you just can't get it out of your head. It's a part of the illness. Not recognizing that you are ill. Sometimes I just don't see it.

Blah blah blah. Blather.

I don't stop taking them though.

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I've been taking MOST of them like I'm supposed to, but for a few days, I jusr won't want the focus, etc. I get from the Adderall, so I won't take it. And those are usually the days I OVER_take the Klonopin. which is bad bad bad.

I just recently started doing this about every week or so for a day or so--got to get back on track FASt__I can feel the difference and its not good.

china

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I hate taking meds because all they do to me is make me super tired (sleeping more than 12 hours a day) and they make me fat. I am so fat and ugly now that no one would want me. Missing a day or so makes me have insomnia though. My pills are filled with poison and a tracking device from the government and ain't that just great? There are more reasons to stop my meds than continue taking them. But since I am too honest with my family, I TRY to take them most of the time. I am going to be 50000000 pounds soon from the meds. They make me eat and sleep most of the day. How fun.

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Not an official BP-club member yet, but I can totally relate to the med issues, hope you don't mind my 2cents.

I start to feel resentful of the fact that I have to take meds at all. I just want to be "normal" and not have to take anything at all, amd here I am taking 8 different meds.

I feel the same way, MP!

I start watching everyone around me, all of my close friends, etc. who do this whole "life" thing without taking any medication at all. I know people who don't even have ONE prescription, for anything. Maybe they have an allergy prescription. That idea of "normal" is so forign to me and it really frustrates the hell out of me sometimes (it's a good thing I have a sturdy pill case...it gets thrown at the wall more than it should, poor thing.)

Maybe it's denial that Im bipolar or that it's really that bad that I actually need to be medicated. Like me? Really? I could have that big of a problem? Seriously?

exactly. 'it couldn't be that bad..'

it's too weird to think about it sometimes, like how on earth do I have a problem like this, it doesn't seem to fit! am rambling, and you said it better than me, but I know how that feels.

My pills are filled with poison and a tracking device from the government and ain't that just great? There are more reasons to stop my meds than continue taking them. But since I am too honest with my family, I TRY to take them most of the time.

hey firebird,

I was just reading your other thread and wanted to wish you the best, I hope that you can find some help in the hospital tomorrow and hopefully they can help your medication situation. You have some pretty caring, levelheaded responses on the other thread-- make sure you get a chance to read them!

goodluck, the doctors and your family and us here on CB all want you to feel better-- you've got a lot going for you, keep us posted,

m

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