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I have Bipolar II Disorder and have been doing fairly well recently.

Do you know that feeling that you get when you have broken up with someone that you loved dearly? The feeling you get when it lasts all day long the next day?

Well, I didn't break up with anybody ;) BUT, I felt that same exact way after I had some really bad words with my sister. One thing that she told me was the people with mental illness should not be listened to or trusted. Plus a whole lot of other shit that was very hurtful. I did not respond at all but I was very hurt.

On the second day after, I began to isolate. I started having physical problems. I started staying bed.

I am in no way shape or form trying to blame this on my sister. I know it's not her fault.

I have never understood the supposed connection between stressors like the above having something to do with Bipolar Depression. It seems like two different things to me. Like comparing apples with oranges. I guess the stress could set of the stress chemicals in your body that maybe could affect the brain chemistry....I just don't get it.

Does anybody have any experience with this? Any input would be helpful.

Sunshine Outside

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hi sunshine, i'm sorry you're going through a crappy time. i don't know, either, exactly why these kind of stressors can give us setbacks, but they definitely can. it sounds like the things your sister said were very hurtful, and you might have felt (not to put words in your mouth) betrayed. i've had this experience with family members too, and it does make me feel crappy, both mentally and physically. i understand why you'd wanna retreat - to me, it's especially devastating when family members, who you think are supposed to love you no matter what, instead attack you. i guess there's probably both a biochemical and a psychological reaction.

does it help to think about the people who love you and who you can count on? and i wonder if it'd help to resist the urge to isolate and sleep a lot and instead go about your life as normally as you can, if you can. is there someone IRL you can vent to and just get out your feelings about what your sister said? these are the kind of thing that've been helpful to me at times.

i hope you're feeling better soon. hang in there. you know you've made a lot of progress, so try to keep up the good work! (but don't feel guilty if you have a little backslide now and then, we all do. ;) )

take care,

bean

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I've gone through similar.

Stress can be a precursor for my cycles, but it's kind of a crapshoot as to whether it will be mania or depression. I typically go hypo to full manic. But that's just me. I know plenty of people that stress causes them to cycle back over to depression.

sorry if this wasn't any help.

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Yes, stress brings on symptoms of MI!! That is the first thing I tell people when explaining bipolar disorder. Stress brings on symptoms. This is why a lot of us can't work, and why we struggle with relationships.

SO, I know that you take really good care of yourself, maintaining a positive attitude and doing what you can to stay stable. But, bear in mind that taking care of yourself includes taking your meds, getting adequate rest, eating right, exercise, AND ...managing stress! If any of these pieces get out of balance, you run the risk of having an episode.

I'm not at all surprised that the talk with your sister brought on a depressive episode. Bipolar is a mood disorder. It amplifies feelings to a degree that non-MI people have trouble understanding, and it takes us much longer to recover when these feelings knock us down.

Understand that it's vital for YOU to be able to identify triggers, so that you can help yourself when an episode is coming on. It is essential to your health that you manage stress in your life, in order to keep yourself stable.

I'm sorry to hear that your sister has such an ignorant attitude towards MI. It sounds like she's formed an opinion without really knowing the facts. It would be good for her to open her mind and read up on your illness, so that she can perhaps provide some support for you instead of making you worse. In the meantime, you might want to avoid her, or at least establish some boundaries with her.

I hope you feel better soon.

xo,

MG

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just want to agree with everything already said. i'm sorry your sister was hurtful. i have these same reactions in these situations - when it's someone really important to me. you're not being too sensitive.

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Hi SO!

I had a similar but different experience with my sister - i lashed out at her. but then after realizing what i did - i definitely went into a depression. its hard to know something is going to "trigger" especially when one has never had that conversation, been through that experience, seen it happen....

my tdoc keeps telling me to take 10 minutes, be alone, and just breathe. every day. but i dont. why? i dont know. he seems to think this would help "center" me. maybe....

i hope you are ok,

db

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Thank you all for responding. I've read about this some, but, hearing it from you guys helps it to make more sense.

Yes, I haven't had the experience of actually recognizing that something can have an impact on this illness.

In one article that I read it talked about recognizing the triggers and then planning a way to avoid or minimize the triggers. Just what you all are telling me.

Maddy, you always help me when you post because I like you!

I'm fine. Even though it felt impossible, I got out of bed, took a bath and played outside with Precious for a little while. Those are good signs for me. Now, since I'm up, I'm feeling a bit better!

Another day in education by experience and Crazyboards!!

Sincerely,

Sunshine Outside

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Hi SO! I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm like you too. Easily triggered. I am trying to tell myself that i have reactions that are an automatic habit from years of innappropriately experiencing stress. It is sort of working. i think. i have had a lot of big stressors in the past couple of weeks. But while my anxiety has increased, it hasn't sent me into a depression. i keep telling myself that i can handle it. i know i have many coping devices and a supportive family adn a good pdoc and tdoc. But this is the first time since i can remember dealing with so much stress without automatically getting drawn into depression. thank God for my tdoc. i have never made so much progress in therapy. Keep up the good work. melissa

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geez, that kind of hurtful stuff from a sister would make a normal person feel upset. i mean, sheesh. feeling like your sister betrayed you would throw off even the most well balances person. no wonder you were thrown for a loop.

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Hey SO - does your sister KNOW that you suffer BP2? If she does, those comments were really cruel on her part...but I imagine that there might be some family history there or that she's had experiences outside of your relationship that might make her feel that way. I'm not trying to defend her, bc honestly, I want to bitch slap her (you know me, I always go to the violent place)...but, as my tdoc says, everyone has a reason, no matter how illogical it seems to us, to behave the way they do - maybe you want to talk to her about it?

As far as feeling down about it - I agree with everyone. I had this horrible job and would come home and sleep - take my clothes off, and pass out. Hubby would wake me up for supper, I'd eat and then I'd be out again. My bed is my "safe" place. I always thought that I was tired bc the job was demanding...Hubby is the one who pointed out that I was suffering from depression (obviously this was before I was dx'd). It was frustrating for him bc he kept trying to tell me I had a problem and I kept saying that I was just tired.

I still do this - things get hard and I want my bed and sleep. No one can hurt me when my eyes are closed and I'm under the covers.

I hope you're feeling better soon {{HUGS}}.

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I *know* that I would be really upset if my sister said something like that. She has said a couple mildly off color things about mental illness that have made me upset before and ruined my mood a little bit. Something so severe would definately put me down.

Good for you for getting up and getting out!

Glad you are feeling better!

Luna

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hello sunshine! wish you didn't feel bad.

only to put into perspective, have there been times in your past that your sister could not "trust" you? like when in an episode and confusion just takes over blowing everything out of proportion?

i think when people say stuff like that it is just a natural societal response. there may have only been one time when that occurred and like 3000 times the good way, but people tend to just latch onto the negative.

if nothing like that has occurred, then maybe she is just being swayed by the general public.

for me, i am hyper aware of what people say and how they say it. the wrong tone, the wrong wording. i just try to see if what they mean matches how they say it. i can also see when it is just a programmed response.

i do get frustrated when this happens in a stressful situation and tend to react without thinking. i try to be a little more forgiving/understanding when in conversation mode. and i have no trouble asking them to clarify what they mean.

(i think during the stress, the "norm" has the upper hand. they can respond quicker and will not give you a chance to explain which leads to the "mi" to only get out certain words without the correct meaning until the "norm" causes the "mi" to explode completely giving the "norm" confirmation that indeed the "mi" is crazy. they also "know" what you are about to say next.)

i also try to see what it is that i say and how i say it. after all, i grew up a society robot as well.

maybe she hit a chord because she is right? maybe you are just sad because your closest friend is just as lost as everyone else even after all that you have been through. when you feel you have made progress and the others are hanging onto the past.

i just feel that it is like two different tribes trying to understand one another except only one tribe knows this needs to be done. this can be frustrating to both tribes and it may be up to the knowing tribe to work harder at understanding and patience even when life is hard enough to live.

they need to be more like us instead of us trying to be more like them.

oh well. keep on trudgin' on and i hope you have a great day!

kathy

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for me, i am hyper aware of what people say and how they say it. the wrong tone, the wrong wording. i just try to see if what they mean matches how they say it. i can also see when it is just a programmed response.

i do get frustrated when this happens in a stressful situation and tend to react without thinking. i try to be a little more forgiving/understanding when in conversation mode. and i have no trouble asking them to clarify what they mean.

(i think during the stress, the "norm" has the upper hand. they can respond quicker and will not give you a chance to explain which leads to the "mi" to only get out certain words without the correct meaning until the "norm" causes the "mi" to explode completely giving the "norm" confirmation that indeed the "mi" is crazy.)

i also try to see what it is that i say and how i say it.

OMG, Kathy - this is me to a "T". My tdoc says that nine times out of ten I'll be right but that since I'm looking, I'll always find a lot of false positives. Thanks for writing this - I don't feel so alone anymore.

Sorry for the threadjack.

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Ditto above advice.

Finding out the triggers is the first step in recognising them which gives you the power to either avoid them or learn through therapy how to cope and manage the effects of the triggers.

Unfortunately there are alot of ignorant people out there when it comes to MI - just look at the press and 'well' they handle a story when they found out some has MI.

Anyway good for you for getting up and getting outside!!!

Hawk

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for me, i am hyper aware of what people say and how they say it. the wrong tone, the wrong wording. i just try to see if what they mean matches how they say it. i can also see when it is just a programmed response.

i do get frustrated when this happens in a stressful situation and tend to react without thinking. i try to be a little more forgiving/understanding when in conversation mode. and i have no trouble asking them to clarify what they mean.

(i think during the stress, the "norm" has the upper hand. they can respond quicker and will not give you a chance to explain which leads to the "mi" to only get out certain words without the correct meaning until the "norm" causes the "mi" to explode completely giving the "norm" confirmation that indeed the "mi" is crazy.)

i also try to see what it is that i say and how i say it.

OMG, Kathy - this is me to a "T". My tdoc says that nine times out of ten I'll be right but that since I'm looking, I'll always find a lot of false positives. Thanks for writing this - I don't feel so alone anymore.

Sorry for the threadjack.

*nods vigorously*

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Hey, I am so "stressed out" that I have begun to develop all sorts of physical symptoms--memory loss, coordination, and about 10 others--to the poiint that I am having a brain MRI Sat. because my med. doc thinks I have MS or something. I honestly wish they could find something physical--but I know they won't, and then everyone will say, "Poor thing, she's just so stressed" and Batshit and etc. etc.

I KNOW I am under a ton of stress-duh, I may be crazy but I am not stupid--but I think if I hear, "Its OK< honey, we know how stressed you are." one more time I will have to do something really looney.

Of course, it was hubby who started all this "somwething wrong with your head " shit, and as my med doc says, "well, he knows you best" and since none of my meds have changed in 2 years, and I do take them regularly, and these symptoms do seem "new"--no offense to anyone who has a chronic disease ( like me already) it would be a relief to have a physical diagnosed problem.

Sunshine, I know how hurtful any comments can be, but from family, it seems to go deeper--thats why my husband's apparent lack of understanding is so painful.

What is it the gay guys say? "Hey--we're queer, we're here, get over it." Thats what we need a slogan!!!

china, brain bouncing around like silly putty. Sory for the random thoughts--

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Hey, works for me--I thk we could come up with some real catcy phrases. "Hi, we're batshit,. whats your excuse?"

Too harsh? You are surrounded by really crazy people. Be vewy vewy quiet"

china

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Yep, I declare the winner to be "we're nuts, we're here, piss off."

My daughter suggested--"We're heavily medicated, whats your excuse?" Like that one too.

I used to have a tee shirt, made from a direct quote from a little old lady,interviewed for the Lake City, Fla. paper talking about bikers---" sick, derranged, and no common sense whatsoever."

Redundant, but I love it.

Night, kiddies--

china who has stayed up way past her bedtime fucking around on the computer.

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