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No Money! Must Work - No Money! Must Work

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After 6 wks off work on unpaid medical leave, I must go back to work - I DONT WANT TO! Being off work due to depression has helped somewhat - just not having to deal with the structure that work involves. We have hit financial rock bottom. Everything maxed out, 2nd mortgage used up, mother and mother in law have given us, I'd say $2000 in the last 5 wks, to stay afloat while I try and get better. My own mother has been bailing us out for around 2 years now - she was even going to cancel her cruise and give me the money instead. You can imagine how I felt.

Have applied for government sick leave but it wont even get started till early march. They only pay 55% of your wage. My wife only brings home a part time wage of around $900/month. Here in Canada we have welfare for desperate times but they wont give it to you if someone in the house is employed. Even if I contacted them they would only tell me to go to the local foodbank.

I'm desperate to find a way to stay off just 2 more weeks. Really desperate. What do some of you do when your'e basically the bread winner in the house? How do you cope being off (if you work), and pay the mortgage, car lease, Insurance, property tax,etc.

I even suggested to my wife we sell some things at the local pawn shop - but she nearly took my head off for that. Now heres an act of desperation: we applied for another credit card - Capital one - they tease you with a low rate and then in 6 months they nearly triple the rate. I dont want to go down that road again - cash advances.

Even if I do go back, there's the co-workers - they will wonder what caused me to be off for 6 wks? some will think to themselves "Oh he's faking it whatever it is, just to avoid work. some will say good that your back - others don't think anything of asking you straight out, "so, why were you off for so long" then the gossip starts. In the past I told them stomach ailment, but I think some have guessed I'm not telling the truth. If this got out at work, its not that I'd loose my job, but everyone would see me in a different light. Only the human resorces department knows I have mental illness.

I'm supposed to call work in a few days and it just feels like a tightening noose around my neck as every hour passes. Any and all support you can muster up - this time I really need it!

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i'm in canada too, and i agree it really sucks and is totally unfair that because your wife works, there's no help. i have heard so many people (including myself) being told "go to the food bank". do they realize how little food that is? especially when there's more than one person to feed?

i don't know what city you're in, but here, if you can GET into the municipal system (and there are a lot of ways to do that, even if they won't give you rent/mortgage help - ask to be involved in a job-search program or some fool thing you don't even want... it might get your foot in the door)... anyway, you can ask (and get help) for very specific things that are considered basic human necessities, like heat/electricity. if your power or heating bill has got beyond your control, they will sometimes pay it off for you so that you can keep it.

in other words, they don't want to promise to KEEP giving you money on a regular basis... but they will do a few one-time things that help if (and only if) you drive them crazy about it. call every day even if they tell you not to. they'll get the hint that you're desperate.

as for the taking two more weeks... god, it's been so long that i worked outside my apartment that i don't know what to tell you. well i can tell you what i'd do, but it's probably bad advice. i'd make up a reason that i medically NEEDED to have an additional two weeks (if they won't respect eight whole weeks of recovery, sheesh can they not handle their jobs THAT much?). preferably something that makes people nervous and don't like to talk about it. like you had to have tests for something potentially lethal (as if depression isn't, grr).

like i said anything that involves lying is probably bad advice on my part. i'm not always ethical.

whatever the resolution turns out to be, i hope you can get what you need to recover FIRST.... this mess can't possibly be solved unless you ARE ready to deal (and from the sounds of things right now, you legitimately can't deal).

your wife may really have to face the possibility that downsizing your possessions might be necessary for BOTH of you. in the future, you can always buy more stuff. your health is more important than if you have a good dvd player.

i wish i could do more. i've been in your position so, so many times - and i'm always still two paycheques away from losing it again, still. but i've seen people (even people here) get out of bad money and work trouble - it can be done. don't give up hope.


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I realley appreciate your wisdom in that above post. Unfortunately I work for the municapal government so going on a job search through them might not work out. The other thing I should mention is my Pdoc did put me on medical till the end of Feb. So I'm clear of that stress. Now its just a matter of telling my wife I cant go back when I originally said I would.

This will be hard. She's very understanding but lately she seems very frustrated with me this time around.


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