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i was just wondering, of everyone who is in a relationship (married or otherwise) with someone seemingly "normal" what is the dynamic like???

my husband is the polar opposite of me. when he is stressed he pushes through; i can't seem to figure out how to do that. it causes a lot of frustration because i am constantly asking if he is embarrassed by me, upset with me, dissapointed in me....etc. i always feel like there is something wrong even though he always says no. is that just me making things up???

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For many years my partner had a tendency to treat me as the "sick one," never to other people but between she and I, I was the one that needed help or could only be trusted so far. Understandable to be sure. But eventually as she began reading my work in a different light (when you get published it's no longer relegated to the "crazy one's pipe dream") she began to see how I see the world and how changeable that is (I'm BPII and a rapid cycler). Also after reading Tom Wootton's Bipolar Advantage she began to see gifts instead of curses.... but she still sees curses.

I think I'm still the crazy one or at least the sick one but I really appreciate her when she doesn't treat me that way; as if I'm defective somehow. In some ways I wish I could experience the stability she does but in this world of extremes and soopidity posing as "normal" I'll stick with what I got.

All that to say it is an odd dynamic being partnered with a "normal" person. Sometimes I don't like it because of the condescension potential or the perceived defect although I get why they might be that way towards me. Being male in the U.S. culture, there are days where she and I both wish I was wired another way. Maybe I just feel guilty about that.

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My husband is really steady. When things go wrong he keeps going through his daily routine. Sometimes I wonder if he understands how serious some things are because he doesn't seem to get upset/worried. He does care, it's just his way of dealing with things.

He's really patient with me. He doesn't feel a need to learn about the illness, though. I think he feels he knows enough just from living with me.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Ironically I am the steady one...the hubby has a really bad memory, alot of anger issues and for the sake of the kids I am the one who keeps everything level, pulls us through and runs things.

I can't say it works great because I handle everything our money and credit is shot but I have adapted to make it "work". My ups last about 4 days and happen about once a month during this time my body is still a problem( fibromyalgia) but I try to catch up on housework anyway but I obsess over things that must be done to keep the house running and the kids ok I told myself it was because of the hubby that I obsess and write whole copybooks full of notes on things to fix credit, buy a house shcools for my son etc even if its stuff I will never use..now I know its because thats alot of how my mania manifests and I guess at least its a healthier outlet then I had in my teens of alot of drinking and random sex...I miss the random sex tho heh

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