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I think it depends on the tdoc. I told my tdoc that I had extra meds just in case I wanted to commit suicide and that I had thoughts, but I wasn't going to act on them. She just told me to discard them and she called me that evening to ask me if I had.

Maybe you could try asking what sort of things they have you admitted to the hospital for and go from there? they might react when you have a plan.

It is a good question and I'm sorry I don't have an answer.

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well i don't have a plan....i mean there are a plethera of things that could end ones life in my house BUT i'm not going to do it. i just have thoughts about it that are consistent. i know they are illogical but i can't make them go away.

i think i'm actually more fearful of actually ending my life then i am of thinking about it.......in the sense that i'm scared i wouldn't do it right...that's one of my major reasons for not ever really doing it.

if i had known, when i was 15, that taking 80+ aspirin was only going to make you violently ill i probably wouldn't have taken them.

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I made a real smashing "gesture" about 2 years ago--did it in the hospital parking lot so they'd have to pay attention. They addmitted me--not Baker Acted, just admitted for "depression"--gave that charcole shit, etc. Finally had a therapist come talk to me--he looked at me and said, "You had no intention of suicide, did you? Cause you toolk just the right abount that you KNEW would get our attention." I told him he was spot on--and the so-called

OD" was never mentioned again.

But if you are thnking about this seriously enough, and often enough, and so much you can go into great detail on you post to us--yes, you need to be afmitted. But admit yourself--don't let them admit you (Baker Act in Fla) Tell your pdoc what you told us, NOW, and head for where ever he suggests.

Trust me, honey, you need to--even the worst hospital is better than lying on your couch, with your brain talking incessantly about suicide. Thats why pdocs have answering services. Call NOW. Please.. Don't keep istening to that shit in your head, cause eventually it will start making sense.

Let us know what happens--we all care, you know that--and we are here, always--

china

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I made a real smashing "gesture" about 2 years ago--did it in the hospital parking lot so they'd have to pay attention. They addmitted me--not Baker Acted, just admitted for "depression"--gave that charcole shit, etc. Finally had a therapist come talk to me--he looked at me and said, "You had no intention of suicide, did you? Cause you toolk just the right abount that you KNEW would get our attention." I told him he was spot on--and the so-called

OD" was never mentioned again.

But if you are thnking about this seriously enough, and often enough, and so much you can go into great detail on you post to us--yes, you need to be afmitted. But admit yourself--don't let them admit you (Baker Act in Fla) Tell your pdoc what you told us, NOW, and head for where ever he suggests.

Trust me, honey, you need to--even the worst hospital is better than lying on your couch, with your brain talking incessantly about suicide. Thats why pdocs have answering services. Call NOW. Please.. Don't keep istening to that shit in your head, cause eventually it will start making sense.

Let us know what happens--we all care, you know that--and we are here, always--

china

thanks. i had therapy last night and felt a lot better. i told her that i had been thinking about it but i wasn't going to act on it. she insisted that i call her if i feel like that again. i made it clear though that hospitalization is not an option.

it was weird. i hadn't seen this therapist in almost a year and she remembered everything that i told her before. i stopped last year becausei thought i didn't need to go anymore and that i was fine. i then mentioned to her what the pdoc's analysis was, bipolar with borderline personality and she said "i saw that a long time ago but didn't think it would be helpful to tell you at the time"......WOW. i feel so much better now. like somehow i am validated. my thoughts aren't controllable right now without extensive help and "mind over matter" is something that is just not attainable at this time in my life because my "mind is floaded" (as she put it) with rage. it was amazing. i felt so much better.

you know what? she also said that i don't have to forgive and here everyone around me had been telling me that that was the only way to go on but she said i didn't have to.

i felt lighter when i left yesterday.

it was funny though, i told her the dose of abilify i was on and she said "he's going to go up right?"...HAH! that was funny.

i see her again in 2 weeks.

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i'm so glad you're feeling better, haley.

just fyi - i started my mental health career as a psychiatric caseworker in an ER and here's what we were taught to look for when doing a suicide assessment:

- does the person have a plan?

- do they sound like they intend to carry it out?

- is the plan realistic, and do they have the means to carry it out? (ODing on your med stockpile is realistic - lying out in the rain with your mouth open until you drown probably isn't. planning to shoot yourself is realistic, but if you don't have access to a gun, you don't currently have the means.)

- are they sounding as if they're feeling helpless and hopeless?

- are they showing signs of future thinking, or acting and speaking as if they won't be around much longer (i.e. giving away possessions, saying they've been really stressed out but won't have to worry about that much longer, etc.)

- have trusted family and friends noticed any of these signs? (a lot of times they'd accompany patients to the ER, and we'd talk with them too)

obviously, this is greatly simplified, but maybe it'll give you some idea of what someone doing an assessment is thinking about.

bean

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glad you are feeling better, and what a nice validation of your therapists skills!

My advice would be that one should always be open and honest with your pdoc and therapist. And yes that includes suicidal thoughts, etc., regardless of the consequences. You are depending on them for their professional education, training and experience. So trust them!!! If they tell you that you need to be hospitalized then follow their advice.

I was in the same situation the second week with my pdoc and panicked and refused to go. I think it would have accelerated my recovery by months had I gone. I vowed later that I would try to gracefully accept my pdocs recommendations in the future.

a.m.

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