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They call this a mood disorder, Get Real

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I hate the way the professionals describe it as a mood disorder, to me it is a life threatening dangerous delusional illness that is cyclical and without any medication that actually controls it long term and there is no cure for it. A person with a Bi Polar condition will have to overcome through personal inner strength extremes of emotion, paranoia , unaware self destruction and a lifetime of living with the fear of being hospitalised for weeks at a time and coping with other people in an enclosed environment with other varying degrees of mental dysfunction and cognition.

They will go through life making friends that will only after a period of time be destroyed, they will have to learn to live with the fact that the only person they can trust in the whole world is themselves, they will quickly learn that to truely know and understand what Bi Polar is and does to a persons life you have to be Bi Polar yourself,what Bi Polar is and does to a persons life you have to be Bi Polar yourself, They will eventually find out that for most we are unemployable and will eventuallly be forced to rely if your fortunate enough to live in a country with an adequate social security system that you become reliant on the state for a monthly disabulity payment.

Sure there are the lucky who react to medication and gain control of their lives but for many of us the cycle repeats itself over and over and you end up picking up the pieces of a trail of destruction or remorse for putting your relatives and those friends that remain loyal through the indignity and depair when depression so deep threatens and fools the miind into thinking the only cure for this illness is to take ones life and free yourself from being a burden to those who care about you.

[edit: paragraphs, a.m.]

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Welcome to this support site. I'm glad to see you here and hope that you will find a measure of comfort here as well as becoming able to support someone else as well.

As you indicated, there are many people who do well living with Bipolar Disorder. We all have different degrees of symptoms and abilities to function.

I can relate to many of the same thoughts that you have expressed. I have felt totally hopeless and completely miserable more times than not over the last several years.

Today, I am far from functional, but I am much better.

Science is making much research headway in Bipolar Disorder now. I anticipate much better treatment in the coming years.

Today, I look at the next twenty-four hours. "I cannot do everything, but I can do something." I can't remember where I got that quote.

If you are in too much pain to be able to extract even a small measure of pleasure from the day, know that you are in the right company. Many of us have been there. Keep talking.

There is hope. Hold on.

Sunshine Outside

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Hi Paddym, welcome!

On the bad days I can agree with everything you said. ;) While the professionals now call it "Bipolar Disorder", which sounds so unemotional and clinical, I think Manic Depressive is much more accurate, if a bit scary. Maybe it should be a bit scary so the rest of the world better understands.

Still, the host of medications that have been developed over the last twenty years, have helped many of us to be much more functional than before, and new ones are coming down the road.

best, a.m.

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Hey, paddym, welcome--

As you will learn if you read any of my other posts, I really don't give a rat's ass what "they" call it, all those codes and DXM numbers, etc/etc. I just want to feel better. "They"--I assume you mean pdocs and reseachers and pharm companies, etc--could call it "Puppy shit in my shoes" disease and I wouldn't care, as long as the meds I was given for the "puppy shit" made me feel and act more like a "regular" human being and not some batshit idiot.

You will notice on my signature it says "Batshit NOS"--yeah, I am BPII, and cycle more rapidly than you can change your sox, and am ADD and have horrible anxiety, etc. But who cares? As long as my ins. company accepts the dx, whatever it may be, and I get rx'd medications which work on me--and they don't get changed just cause my pdoc is into something new--I'm fine with it. No, they don't keep me feeling just perky and fine and dandy all the time--but hey, I feel better than when I don't take them. And I'm not really a perky person anyway--

Yeah, it sux the big one--I just basically don't function much, but its better than before I got on the right meds. This may be the best I can get, who knows? One thing I have learned, in great detail, is how to recognize whats happeneing in my brain, like those wacky mixed hypomanic episodes, so I can keep track of whats going on and let my pdoc who I like and trust, know. The more he knows about how I am acting and reacting, the better h and I can work together.

I hope you find a great doc, if you don't have one--and hang in there. We are really a great bunch, and you are always welcome. Coming here and ranting away is a good way to deal with lots of things. Or start a blog--yu can just do your own thing and its super helpful.

hang in there--china

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While I do have trouble functioning "normally" I have never feared being hospitalized (only jailed...). The friends I have made all knew I was nuts even before I had any diagnosis, so they've all stayed true (except a bunch who were pansy asses to begin with...).

I have never been particularly unemployable, now that I have found a permanent position, I have kept it and am paying my parents back for their support through all the time I could only find temp jobs. Hey, my life has been no picnic, but with good meds and good support I've made a pretty good stab at it and am not worried about my future--I mean it ain't so bright as to require shades (I know, bad 80s reference) but it's looking alright.

Even two years ago when I'd been unemployed for two years, was on food stamps, and it looked like I could lose my home, I wasn't so pessimistic as you are. Oh shit, I certainly didn'rt have a bright outlook on life but I wasn't about to get my ass kicked by life when I'd made it through all the shit I had.

So not everyone with bp is in all that hell. Oh wait--"Sure there are the lucky who react to medication and gain control of their lives"--well hell there are a TON of meds, I think there are only an unlucky few that don't respond. So I refuse to go down that path of thinking--there's always a way out.

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