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feeling fraudulent on the boards


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i've been reading some of our posts, old and new, on various different subjects here lately.

and i realize that every time i see the name lysergia at the end of my posts (because i feel compelled to put in there for some strange reason), i feel like i just lied to all of CB because i'm misrepresenting us.

i feel like you'll see us as one woman who's really flakey and starts talking about issues then abandons them. one woman who seems to have these bazillion problems she's constantly battling.... sometimes battling and sometimes giving up, i guess would be more appropriate. one woman who has one opinion one minute, and another one tomorrow... which smacks of either being argumentative or people-pleasing. one woman who can't seem to hold on to a friendship for more than five minutes at a time (boy, that makes it worth it for other people).

i don't want to look like that person. i don't think any of us do.

(though some of us could give a rat's ass - or baboon's ass, as it were).

and i get this huge urge to differentiate what's my crap and what isn't. not because i'm ashamed of what anyone else (of lysergia) is going through at any given moment, but because i feel like i'm constantly quoting other authors without citing them - i'm stealing their thoughts, their work, their successes and failures... and it looks like it's all mine. it's not. it's just that i happen to be related to all the authors :/

i do know it's way too confusing for anybody here to keep track of which of us hangs about where, or comments a certain way, even if we did sign our own names. hell i'm multiple and i get confused interacting with other multiples this way sometimes, too :)

my biggest fear though, is being bashed for doing it if some of us feel like using our names sometimes. ;)

i feel like it would be counterproductive to getting help/information here, like people would get more hung up on the names than the issue at hand. IYO, is that true, or do you think i'm not giving CB enough credit?

or, is it about us getting a thicker skin and doing it anyway, even if we do get bashed? is it about learning how to handle the bashing, without just walking away and ditching the issue entirely?

just feeling like a big damned fraud today and wanted to know if anybody could relate, and how they deal with it.

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Well, as you put it, I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks...I'm bipolar for fuck's sake so one day I may be polly purebread and the next day I may be damien...I'm like the prize in a cracker jack box - you never know what you're gonna get! I particularly favored the tattoos and all the other prizes sucked, so I was often disappointed...

Anyway...I think you should post with the identity who's writing with wreckless abondon! Let us know who these people are inside! Sometimes, I can tell who is writing...sometimes...you do have different "voices" (no, you're not hearing voices, and neither am I, it's the personality your written words convey). I wouldn't find you fraudulent either way and think that you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Personally, I'd like to get to know each person a little better...it may or may not help me in responding...you know, some people deal well with a kick in the ass, some prefer to be hugged, some like problem solvers, some like just to be listened too, some like it when you jump on the "fuck 'em all" band wagon with you...even though I'm not multiple, I have all those "people" inside of me too...it just depends on what side of the bed I wake up on as to which one is gonna come out to play that day...

There are these t-shirts I like: "Life is Good" - the motto on the back is: "Do what you like, like what you do". I think that sums it up here, how about you?

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i do know it's way too confusing for anybody here to keep track of which of us hangs about where, or comments a certain way, even if we did sign our own names. hell i'm multiple and i get confused interacting with other multiples this way sometimes, too :)

my biggest fear though, is being bashed for doing it if some of us feel like using our names sometimes. ;)

i feel like it would be counterproductive to getting help/information here, like people would get more hung up on the names

I don't think you would get bashed and I don't think people would get caught up on the names.

I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable.

Sorry, I can't relate, I'm not multiple, but I think if it bothers you, you should be able to sign your names.

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I wouldn't find you fraudulent either way and think that you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Personally, I'd like to get to know each person a little better...it may or may not help me in responding...you know, some people deal well with a kick in the ass, some prefer to be hugged, some like problem solvers, some like just to be listened too, some like it when you jump on the "fuck 'em all" band wagon with you...even though I'm not multiple, I have all those "people" inside of me too...it just depends on what side of the bed I wake up on as to which one is gonna come out to play that day...

I totally agree with dangergirl--

I am so glad to have people I feel like I'm getting to know here-- I need to post more since I read so much (nobody is getting to know me that well, and I feel like it should be more even)-- but that's off topic-- what I'm saying is that if you feel like using names or whatever would make you more comfortable and maybe help us understand you and where you're coming from better, then go for it!

I love this board and community more and more with everyone that I have the opportunity to connect with, that's why I keep reading and posting and coming back.

It's up to you, but I just wanted to say that I'm with dangergirl and confused, if it will help you, then go for it-- this place is about support, and it sounds like using names or clarifying with us would help you be supported, yes?

Hoping I made some sense,

meg

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and i get this huge urge to differentiate what's my crap and what isn't. not because i'm ashamed of what anyone else (of lysergia) is going through at any given moment, but because i feel like i'm constantly quoting other authors without citing them - i'm stealing their thoughts, their work, their successes and failures... and it looks like it's all mine. it's not. it's just that i happen to be related to all the authors :/

i do know it's way too confusing for anybody here to keep track of which of us hangs about where, or comments a certain way, even if we did sign our own names. hell i'm multiple and i get confused interacting with other multiples this way sometimes, too :)

One of the reasons I support "guest" posting is that it allows alters to tag posts with their names. The main reason it is available is so that people can ask a question and get help without registering and giving themselves away... but the first is really just a special case of the second.

my biggest fear though, is being bashed for doing it if some of us feel like using our names sometimes. ;)

I don't recall anyone bashing Rusty for signing a post once in a while. This board IS supposed to be a place where alters can express themselves (in turn a good reason to keep the DID topics separate from schizophrenia/schizotypal - I can picture it being VERY disconcerting for someone already feeling paranoid.)

It's up to you, but I just wanted to say that I'm with dangergirl and confused, if it will help you, then go for it-- this place is about support,

... and nipple clamps. That's in The Rules, y'know.

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for myself, when i see a post from Lysergia i know it's a group name...like, signing Christmas cards Blahblah family.

i've not noticed anyone blasting Rusty or any of Abi's people...Abigail & Absynthe, plus Lil One sign their names fairly often.

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thanks so much everybody.

we're taking a little while to consider what we want out of this kind of disclosure - and knowing that it's even an option is something we're grateful for.

i think our biggest fear is that whole "encouraging disordered behaviour" thing.

i think we're going to come up against lots of folks who'd rather we pretend, because that's what we're supposed to sound like when we're "getting better".

not saying the fear is rational in a place like this, for sure. but we're still afraid.

i think it's because this site means a lot to us.

in the end i think we'll decide that giving people here the benefit of the doubt is the best course (for us). because if people like you all can handle the weirdness of our body-sharing... i think we should be able to handle the weirdness of others thinking we're anything but what we are ;) .

(somehow, i think i put this post through twice? did i?)

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