Me

[skaz]

I'm Irish, Scotish, and Dutch.  I'm a former athlete.  MI hit me my Sophomore year in College.  Since then I've been in denial, acceptence, growth, illness, starting over, health, happiness, depression, hospitalizations, starting over...

I'm a slow learner.  Not book wise, but life wise.  I'm learning, getting healthier, working regulalry, and coping.

It's not easy, but worth doing the right things and avoiding the weakening things.

Good things I do:

I take my meds.

I stay informed.

I ask questions.

I avoid alcohol.

I avoid negative, judgemental people.

I meditate.

I pray.

I exercise.

Bad things I still do:

Get down on my self.

Judge myself.

Judge others.

Isolate myself at times.

I've avoided intimate relations with women for 5 years.

I'm scared to take risks.

With that said, I accept that I'm doing the best that I can.

[Sulu]

Skaz, welcome to the world of Crazies. LOL.  It sounds like you have a pretty level head on your shoulders and are doing everything you can to help yourself.  In your bad things list, I am 6 for 6, except replace women for men.  I try to really work on these things (except for dating) when I am in a good state of mind but the minute the depression comes screaming for me I just wallow in despair.  Oh well, one day at a time is the best I can do.  Glad you are here, look forward to hearing more about you, Sulu

[skaz]

Skaz, welcome to the world of Crazies. LOL.  It sounds like you have a pretty level head on your shoulders and are doing everything you can to help yourself.  In your bad things list, I am 6 for 6, except replace women for men.  I try to really work on these things (except for dating) when I am in a good state of mind but the minute the depression comes screaming for me I just wallow in despair.  Oh well, one day at a time is the best I can do.  Glad you are here, look forward to hearing more about you, Sulu

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sulu:  Thanks so much.  I really love this site.  It's a great way to get out what we each feel inside.

I once met the "Sulu" George Takei.  I was going to college at Winona State, and he was one of the multi-cultural speakers.  He talked about his family and their experience in interem camps during world war II. 

He asked for questions and me and a fellow trekker started asking all sorts of questions about Star Trek.  He said that the only cast member on the original series that really got allong with William Shatner was Leonard Nimoy.  He basically ripped apart Shatner.

I'm guessing you go by Sulu as a reference to the classic Trek charachter?

[grousemouse]

hi skaz,

reading your post here, i think we could sit down over a couple of de-alcoholised beers and have a lot to chat about.

i have had major depression most of my life but have only been medicated and in good therapy for about the last year and a half. i've gone through the down cycle and then up cycle with denial thing thousands of times. but have not yet been hospitalised.

i too am a slow learner life-wise. DEAD SLOW i would have to say. it can take me a decade it seems to learn something for myself that other people just take as rote from someone older and wiser.

i'm on effexor 225 mg and seroquel 50 mg. they are working well for me at last.

i do many of the same good things and bad things you do. so please don't feel you're alone with your illness.  there is a place where you can write about yourself called the springer board. i have a thread there and you are very welcome to read some and post there. it would be great to see you start up a thread yourself if you feel up to it.

the best way through really is to talk about things with others.

take care,

grouse.