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You people suck!


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Yes. I"M FUCKING SCARED AS FUCKING SHIT and you fucking tell me I'm making shit up. Its not my fault that doctors can never agree on what my fucking diagnosees are so I've been diagnosed with just about everything in the fucking whoreass dsm. WTF.

At different times I've been diagnosed with the following:

Bipolar 1

Bipolar NOS

Schizoaffective Depressive type

Schizoaffective Bipolar Type


Psychotic Disorder NOS


Panic Disorder


ADHD Innatentive



Mood Disorder NOS

Anxiety Disorder NOS

Dissociative Disorder NOS

Depersonalization Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

Personality Disorder NOS


Cyclothmia (or however the fuck you spell it)

Bulimia Nervosa

Eating Disorder NOS

That doesn't include that I have fucking fibromyalgia, migraines and whatever

Now they fucking think I may have DID and everyone on the board is being a fucking ass.


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i feel bad you sound so upset and overwhelmed!

i wasn't quite clear who exactly "sucked" . was it a doctor or something here?

it must be awful to have such a long list of dx over time- it must feel like noone can quite decide and that must not feel particularly helpful. especially when new symptoms seem to be emerging.

dx is so not an exact science and docs use them sometimes in haphazzard ways. you may also fit one description and when new symptoms come it moves you to a new category and thus another dx.

some of what you've been describing sounds very scary. i hope you are able to find support for the frightening things going on in your life.

and i hope not everyone sucks.

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No. people on this fucking message board. thats who suck. they think I'm just making up all thethings i've ever been diagnosed with and whatnot..... yes.... I've thought I had aspergers.... es I have "traits".... yes I have been diagnosed with it....no I probably don't have it.... yes I was a "little" anal about it.... but NO I'm not fucking like that all the time and this time the mental health professionals brought it up not fucking me and I just need someone to believe me. damnit.

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i can hear how frustrated and angry you are. i have no reason to not believe you.

maybe i'm missing something but i think i've been trying to keep up with whats been going on for you lately, and i havn't noticed anyone saying you are making anything up. ( maybe one post might have felt less than supportive, but is there more you are upset about?

i'm just trying to figure out what is making everything feel that much more painful and that you feel you are not being heard.

i hate not being heard, or validated it is the worst thing to me- and makes me feel people are not paying attention to what i'm trying to say and so they don't get it- makes me feel they don't believe. and that does suck.

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This is the thread Febreze is referring to: http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=22367

My post to her was the result of longstanding concerns on the part of people who've been on these boards for as long as she has (since early 2005 I think) and are aware of her history.

It is very, very uncommon for a doctor to diagnose concurrently as many psychiatric diagnoses as she had listed in her signature before she removed them in response to my post (ten? twelve? more?). I've never heard of it happening. You would have to go to a LOT of doctors to get the 20 or so different diagnoses she listed above, particularly given that some of those diagnoses would probably have been given more than once by different doctors (i.e. multiple doctors per diagnosis for some of them).

Despite all those doctors you've been willing to go to, Febreze, we can't even get you to go to the emergency room when you're psychotic and suicidal. You post repeatedly asking for help, but aren't willing to listen to the advice we offer. You got fired by a therapist last summer, and were furious with her, but were sidestepping around the possibility that it might have been a response to something you did, rather than with her being a jerk. You get diagnosis after diagnosis from doctor after doctor, and post on each new board and it's uncomfortably reminiscent of someone joining a new club and being pleased at all the new things they have to explore.

Whether you're making them up consciously, making them up non-consciously, are doctor-seeking, have nebulous symptoms that get misdiagnosed as various different things, or what, isn't really all that important. The fact that new diagnosis after new diagnosis after twentieth new diagnosis doesn't seem to help you get any more stable IS a big deal. I want you to be stable. I want you to seek out the help you need. As far as I can tell from the time I've known you, the help you need is something that we can't give you. You're the only one who can decide to make the call to get help when you're psychotic or manic or suicidal enough to need help, but not enough for someone to be able to commit you.

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I'm finally being honest with people. Other than on the internet. thats new for me. My therapist and I even talked about that today and how uncomfortable that was for me to be talking with her like that. I've been willing to give people pieces of my life..... and now I'm willing to give mental health professionals more. I got help recently for the homicidal thing. I went to the hospital. I told my doctor. She called an ambulance on me. It wasn't fun. I'm being honest with my DBT group leader and she's kicking me out of DBT and making me do day treatment at the hospital. :) lots of changes. lots of crap. I'm just overwhelmed. Now I'm manic after being depressed for a long time... a really bad depression as well. I honestly don't read my siggy and didn't realize I had all those in my siggy without what I had planned to do with them. but whatever. I have to revamp my siggy anyways. ;)

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Glad to hear u are starting to be honest wit people even if it is hard

Over the years i have seen u on the board, read some posts and im sure u have replied to some of mine at some stage.

All i can add to this topic is remember a Dx is a label and a label is a label nothing more - u need your symptoms treated no matter what umbrella they fall under, u need to get stable or get the rite help to allow u to become stable - and maybe all these changes that are hard now will eventually help u achieve that.

Good luck with it, i wish the best ;)

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I don't know if this may help you to understand anything, but this is just me. When I have seen certain people who do multiple posts on the same things or different things, but sooo many posts tend to scare me away. i won't read them for fear of being triggered. You are not the only one hear who does this and i understand the need for attention, but it is overwhelmng to see so many posts. Maybe just put then all in one post. I dunno.

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Mel - I think that's a swell idea! I feel like you do too...it feels like "drama" *to me* and it's scary, so my brain screams "avoid! avoid!"

Febreeze - I have no idea what's real and what's not real for you - I can only take you at what you write here, but it has been an awful lot of dx's...and that could be a result of a lot of different things (ineffective communication skills, lots of different doctors treating you, presenting in different stages of the illness with all of these different docs, not being honest with the docs, medical complications not relating to MI, etc)...in other words, lots of things...plus with all the switching around and all the different meds, well, I've experience first hand what the wrong med can do to you...

I can understand how angry and frustrated you are...you are finally being honest and desperately need help...maybe instead of creating three posts about it, you could wander around the boards and read up about your new dx and ask very pointed questions...and try to contain everything in one post. We might suck, or we might just be reacting to your behavior (which is undoubtedly just symptoms of your MI)...the only thing that I've learned is that insulting people certainly isn't going to win you any friends.

Good luck with the new dx...unfortunately, I have no experience with DID and no advice to offer on that front.

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I'm finally being honest with people.

i'm NOT trying to be blameful, or say you're at fault, or stuff like that, so please don't read anything between the lines here. but what does strike me, here, is the *possibility* (not certainty) that we may have been picking up on your guardedness and not-quite-total-honesty. you've been here a very long time; i'd say it's possible that your guardedness WAS coming through on the internet...and i'd bet you weren't even aware of it.

key point: i'm saying it's not delibarate and that you not only weren't doing it intentionally, but that you really weren't totally aware of how much you kept back and censored yourself, but WE picked it up. i've noticed your posts seem to have a chameleon like quality, reflecting back only certain things: that's indicative of (indirectly) sheltering other things, by keeping them in the background.

i don't know if that made sense...oh, here's something that may help you: the Johari Window. you've probably run across it in your courses. it's a really good visual explanation of what i'm trying to say.

i think we may have been seeing the window marked 'things unknown to me but known to others'.

go check it out, or review it, and let me know what you think. *i* think it's something you should consider as you re-evaluate your future life and medical treatment.

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Fabreeze honey, I know you and I also know you are not lying about how sick you are. I hope you know we believe in you on the other board (BPNUT) as well, where I have gotten to know you. Too many doctors can lead to multiple, conflicting DXs in a complicated case like yours and I know you have had poor treatment at your local hospital who does not believe you do to the stigma associated with BPD patients.

I know you're at you're worst right now and you're friends have been asking where you are. Come update your journal and vent all you want. We're here to listen.

If someone has called you a liar, who cares. Those people don't make one bit of difference in your life. They are anonymous personas on the Internet. Some have become friends. Only let them matter.

Sometimes your posts only mention certain things and might seem out of context to someone who only knows half the story, so that's probably where it's coming from, but don't over analyze it. As I said, it doesn't matter. Take care of you.


Zip (aka D on BPNuthouse)

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At the risk of sounding lame, repetitive, and slow on the uptake, I just want to say something a therapist said to me during my second hospitalization: "It's not the diagnosis that matters, it's finding the meds and therapy that work."

I've had my dx upped twice and have come to the conclusion that they only give you a dx so they can call you *something* on the insurance paperwork. It sounds to me like you're frustrated because you don't have a single identity to work with. The thing is, though, a diagnosis is not *who you are.* You are still YOU, no matter what the insurance paperwork says. You're getting help and getting honest, and that's a great first step on the path to being the best YOU you can possibly be.

Please take this as the friendly encouragement it is meant to be.


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I believe you and you should disregard all the"haters" You have the right to state any diagnosises that you feel you have and noone has any right to doubt how you feel.

If the dispariging continues I will dispatch a group of cyber ninjas to sabotage their keyboards and sver their internet connection.lol

Keep plugging away. Maybe this is all a test by the lord to see how tough we are!

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by naming your post "you people suck" how can "we" not feel a little defensive in response?

This forum is to support people.

We are here to help each other through the pain not create more.

Please take care of yourself.

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