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So, I've been manic for a while. blah blah. I saw my pdoc today. I'm just concerned that the med changes he made aren't going to knock me down.

Changes:

On Ambien 3 days just to get sleep since that hasn't been happening

Topamax: 150mg 4 days, 200mg thereafter (was 100mg)

Risperdal 4mg (was 3mg)

Take into consideration, i'm Manic, NOT hypomanic. Was hypomanic 2 weeks ago, had ECT, switched to a mixed episode and then to pure mania.

Ambien works for me to sleep when I'm NOT manic, I'm just not sure if it'll be enough to knock me down when I'm this high. Although maybe with the other changes? Thoughts?

If you were manic/hypomanic would that knock you down? would it take more?

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I still seem manic. Although I did sleep. then a migraine hit and I was laying down... I thought I was going to die... it was so hard to lie down.. but everything went black if I sat up. I feel like my judgment may be a little bit better as I'm not running on such little sleep... but man... I still feel like running in front of cars. poo.

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I'm responding to you on this of your many topics tonght, because of its title "concerned"

I am concerned about you . You seem to have such struggles and need to talk about them. (thus the multiple topic posts tonight)

I was wondering- have you ever had a blog? I know I would find it easier to pay attention to whats going on if it were kind of focused in one place like that. or do you keep a journal? writing a journal was really helpful to me when i had so much going on that ididn't even know what was going on.

I also wondered if there is a day program, or a residential treatment center(not ahospital) anywhere near you and if it is something you have ever considered.

You are having trouble with hallucinations, mania, migraines and more. I think you deserve some more intensive treatment, and just thinking that might be a way to get it.

i lived in a treatment facility for a long time. i don't know how i would have managed otherwise during that time. it was pretty intense but i made some really close friends and left there so much better equipped to deal with the world.

just some thoughts.

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I was in a treatment (DBT) and got kicked out. I'm starting Day treatment 3 days a week, 3 hours a week, monday. I have my intentional community that I see. I just am afraid to talk to people in real life other than Mental health professionals about my problems. you know? I talk to my case manager, my therapist, my pdoc, my gp, my nutritionist, my armhs worker just dumped me over the phone... so I no longer have her.... my community advocate, I'm getting yet another therapist... (on ED and one MH). Sometimes I just need feedback from actual people and not mental health professionals.. you know? And I can't talk to anyone in real life. Other than two friends... but they worry too much.

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