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Guest luli2545

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Guest luli2545


Wow, crazyboards/crazymeds is pretty complex! I hope I'm posting in the right place....

I'm taking 150 mg effexor a.m. and 1 mg. ativan at night.

I was on serzone for 2-3 years. Before that imiprimine and other imines.....I was really afraid to take meds.

I started meds for depression/anxiety/ptsd stuff after some yukky stuff happened to me too fast...about 13 years ago. But before the stuff happened I knew I was "down," and I also had panic early morning wakening about 2 -3 times a month. I knew I had an emotionally distant spouse, a lonely marriage but I kept hoping, didn't know what to do.

A friend mentioned this site about a year ago but today I found your site...

I had a long marriage/family...kids are semi grown up, been single about 4-5 years....

I'm just checking in....

I think I should be on 225 effexor but I don't feel "too" bad...and the psych. Dr. said I could do as I wished with it, depending on how I felt. I can afford the 75 addt'l mgs. (no insurance) but I'm sort of pissed off (and a little scared of effexor, due to what I've read) so I don't take the additional dosage....

1 & 1/2 yrs. ago switched from serzone to effexor. I cried for about two months...changing meds really has sucked.

Initially about 12 yrs. ago I was on depakote too... but the psych. Dr. kept reducing it, but I was afraid to get off it so I stayed on 250 mg for 3 years when I was on the serzone. I can't tell any difference being off it now, but I do recall initially 1000 or 1250 mg depakote along with whatever AD , and I watched the lilacs bloom from my couch for two seasons before I realized how zombied I was. So the Psych. Dr. said, hmm, you really don't need this... I guess I don't cycle...people don't think I do...I don't guess I have mania or hypomania... I DID have a ton of anxiety...I kept the 250 mg because I was terrified of going back to chaotic terror, even tho the Dr. said it was subclinical dose... I feel the same off of it as on it.

Anyhow, thanks for letting me elaborate... I have a tough time now making the efforts I think would help... I get to work ok... have to eat am,noon,pm...I mean I have to work at that or I'm a basket case by 4 pm... it's easy to just not bother...but I'm better....when I was younger food wasn't something I thought affected me....Actually eating is really important, and I struggle to remember to eat...it's a huge deal right now.

I recently forced myself to sign up for an insight meditation class once a week...I've gone twice; I love how I feel when I'm there with them...I'm not planning to be a daily meditator at the moment since ...whatever....just not now.... trying to let myself just enjoy the class...

I hate that I feel alone...that I live "single," that it seems like so much work to just be in neutral...not too high, not too low.

Anyhow, I like reading your posts. I'm not sure how to get around this site but it will be fun to do that... thanks for reading,


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Luli, may I extend my welcome to you as well.  This board has literally been a life saver for me and I am sure many others as well.  Look forward to hearing more from you, Sulu

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