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I'm fluffybirdie,

32, female, married, no kids and sometimes wonder if there was ever any real illness as I was just fine a while ago.

It all started a few a few years ago (haha)... when I broke a rib. Way painful, and I could not sleep to save my life. Luckily, vodka really helps that. So I drank and drank more and more. Then physical dependancy, the shakes and all. All while trying to stay functional and keep it looking good. Then a short stay in a nighmarish detox center, a mood stabilizer, various tranquilizers all while still drinking ;)

But on meds I feel worse than I ever have. And I really want to quit drinking, but 12 step just isn't for me.

I hope to gain some insight from others here and hope I can help advise about side effects and stuff like that. I have a serious mistrust in some doctors after being given weird meds without proper instruction, but always try to stay objective.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

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Welcome, birdie. If you want to get other points of view about quitting drinking, check out our substance abuse forum. Over the years, people have mentioned on-line programs and other alternatives to 12 steps. Not every cookie is cut the same shape, eh?

PM any of the mods if we can help you.

olga

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hi fluffy, welcome to cb.

i'm just gonna put this out there - fwiw - and i have NO idea if this is your situation or not - but...

for the last three years, i've been working at an agency that specializes in people with dual diagnoses (mental illness and chemical addiction). trouble is, lots of people walk through the door actively using, and are immediately diagnosed by the pdoc as having a co-occuring mental illness. according to the dsm, this is a no-no. you can only assess someone's baseline when they're not intoxicated (makes sense, right?).

SO...these people now have not only a substance abuse issue, but also a mental illness dx, which may or may not be accurate. they usually start right off taking crazy meds, before they're detoxed off whatever they may be abusing, which makes the clinical picture harder to sort out.

now - given that addiction is frequently an attempt to self-medicate a pre-existing problem, lots of these people may actually have psych diagnoses. but lots of them may not, and may spend years taking meds they don't need and being treated for illnesses they don't have (and which still carry a huge stigma, btw).

this is all by way of saying that your suspicion that you might not have a mental illness is worth paying attention to. i'd recommend doing what you can to sort it out. getting clean and sober is definitely your first step, then go from there. as olga says, the substance abuse forum should have some good info on that.

sorry to write a book - this is just something that really concerns me. again, welcome to cb, and good luck figuring everything out.

bean

p.s. i've recently left that agency and am starting a new job elsewhere, to my great relief.

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Thanks, zenbean, for the advice.

What you are talkikng about is what I stongly suspect may have happened in my case. But, perhaps if I didn't start out with depression, I certainly have developed it from all this crap. I am working very hard on quitting, and the susbstance abuse forum is pretty helpful.

I'm continuing to try to get all this figured out, and in the meantime just keep at it with my Wellbutrin--which at least has no side effects. It seems to make people happy if I take something... that's the spirirt!

Thanks, all for welcoming me ;)

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