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Real Issue from today. A little Therapy.


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:) objective ;)

ONE WAY OF THINKING

6:00a.m. The alarm goes off. Oh my God. I don't want to wake up and take these awful medications. They taste awful! I truly don't have ANYTHING in the house to eat with them. I don't have anymore ice in the freezer to make water taste better. I don't like water anyway.

Oh my God, how am I going to get something to eat? There is no way I can get up without taking my medication first and I have to have something to eat with my medication. Oh my God, it is going to be an awful day.

WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE OUR THINKING (sometimes)

I always feel better the earlier I take my medications. And it is best to take them at the same time every day. Anyways, I can always go back to sleep for a while.

A psychiatrist will work with me in the near future to adjust the times of the various medications so I won't feel so nauseas.

These medications are what brought me out of the worst misery of my entire life and they are more than worth the bad taste. No regrets here. And worth the money. I don't feel so bad about it after all.

When I'm feeling a little better, a little later on, I can use my first burst of energy to go get ice. I actually really love ice water and I feel better when I drink it. It really is important to take care of myself.

Since I have budgeted for eating out some this month,, I will not feel guilty (an issue of mine) and order delivery. Mmmmm. Wings and celery with Ranch.

IN THEORY, FEELINGS FOLLOW THOUGHTS. WHICH THOUGHTS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? WHO HAS CONTROL OF THE THOUGHTS? WHO HAS CONTROL OF FEELING BETTER?

FEELING SOME BETTER. IT WORKS.

Thank God something does,

Sunshine Outside

wings are here :)

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Heh.

If you had asked me beforehand, If I did this, I would have immediately said no. But you made me realize that I too will diddle and stall to avoid having to go thru the process of finding my morning pills, sort them, get water, swallow the damn horsepill size things, and end up discovering 4 hours later that I'm still in a blurr when I could have felt better already. ;)

It's hard to explain to the world, the mental mountains we have to climb just doing simple things like taking a pill. Every day, over so many routine matters.

a.m.

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SO, can you keep a half-gallon of milk or soy milk in the house for this? I think water is great, too, but maybe a little something more in your stomach when you take those pills? When I was single, I used to keep a loaf of sliced bread in the freezer, take out one slice at a time and toast it. The bread never got stale, and I could use one slice at a time.

I think, young lady, that we have to talk you into eating some kind of breakfast. I'll be over later today with some nice crunchy cereal, bananas and some of my home-made apple cider.

Keep reporting in. I like it when you let us know how you are doing with your new life.

olga

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I second the frozen bread idea. I used to do that, and the bread does keep really well. Toast with butter and honey on it is really good.

I'm sorry about my first reply, I guess I missed the gist of your post? I'm not sure.

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I second the frozen bread idea. I used to do that, and the bread does keep really well. Toast with butter and honey on it is really good.

I'm sorry about my first reply, I guess I missed the gist of your post? I'm not sure.

;)

No, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in working out their own issue here. (by themselves) It was helpful to me. I also find it helpful to me to see how others do it.

I was a little hesitant about making the suggestion and so I guess I was not clear. I know it seemed a little weird.

Anyways, thanks for the helpful suggestions.

My best,

Sunshine Outside

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Some people say we have the power to control our own thoughts. It takes a whole lotta desire, focus and time. Nothing worth doing is easy in this world.

I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love which is pretty good. The writer travels to Italy, India and Indonesia, and her time spent in India is at an Ashram studying Yoga, and not just the physical kind. She talks about the power to control thoughts, slow down your mind and the ability to meditate. It is not easy in any way, shape or form for any person. She spends months at the Ashram and hours meditating a day, so that is probably why she actually succeeds. Who the hell has that kind of time IRL? And furthermore, with the mental illnesses that we all face which may include rapid, uncontrollable thoughts, telling a person to "Sit with your feelings" or "Meditate to cleanse your mind" seems out of the realm of possibility. I'm not going to say it's impossible though. I've never been able to meditate longer than a few minutes but I haven't given it any kind of time or attention. I have had some success controlling thoughts. When I remember or care enough to do it. I guess it has to do with motivation and constant practice. Controlling what comes out of my mouth has an effect on what goes through my head. Constantly saying "I suck" or "I can't" gets me into a negative rut that is extremely difficult to get out of. Again it takes time and attention. Also, I think that the meds are the first step. Giving you a fighting chance.

The author also talks about what we have the power to control in our own world and it includes who we surround ourselves with and what kind of environment (work, home, whatever) we live in. Dammit I wish I had the book here to quote from...

No matter what, each person has power that needs a lot of attention for it to grow.

/schpiel

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:)

Re: time, yes! I agree! I joke that I can't work because it takes me all day to do the things that I have to do to keep myself sane! But really, it's no joke! It seems true right now.

I really related to the comment about the world not understanding what all some of us have to go through to accomplish something as seemingly easy as taking medication.

Days vary. Some days I'm pretty damn functional and some days not. I never know what the day is going to be like and I resist making appointments. ;)

I continue to work on stuff but damn, it's hard. I'm just glad that I'm still alive to enjoy the special moments in my life that I can now experience again.

Sincerely,

Sunshine Outside

p.s. I do believe that therapy can make a lot of difference. It does for me.

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I continue to work on stuff but damn, it's hard. I'm just glad that I'm still alive to enjoy the special moments in my life that I can now experience again.

amen sister. when i think how many times i almost just gave up and gave in and what i would've missed if i had...and how appealing it seemed at the time...

anyway, i'm so glad you're feeling and doing so much better, SO. not to minimize that it's a struggle every day - i know it is - but you're doing it, you're showing a lot of courage and guts. good on you.

bean

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Days vary. Some days I'm pretty damn functional and some days not. I never know what the day is going to be like and I resist making appointments. ;)

p.s. I do believe that therapy can make a lot of difference. It does for me.

I whole heartedly agree with Bean and with you about therapy helping. I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about Fred by now...even Fred is getting sick of hearing about how good he is (smug twat, no he's not...lol...yesterday he told me that he "earned" it...ok, so he has, but he doesn't have to smirk so much about it).

On the appointment front...you know, I really struggle with this too...and I really struggled about whether or not to say this, bc I know how hard it was for me, and well, we're all different. I went ahead and made the appointments anyway - for a lot of reasons - many of them could be cancelled last minute. This taught me two things - one, that I was worth caring for (by making AND cancelling the appointments) and two, that the world would not end if I had to cancel my plans. Sometimes knowing that there was somewhere I had to be was all it took to get me out of bed (other times, not so much so).

The other reason I did it was bc MI left me feeling robbed. I was missing out on life - period, end of sentence. Quite frankly, that made me pretty angry. Some days there was nothing I could do about it, but I had to take responsibility for it and acknowledge it - so, calling and canceling appointments held me accountable...I couldn't ignore all those lost days in bed. It was hard as hell...so very hard. And if anyone here tells me that I wasn't depressed enough, well, I'd say I'd lose it, but it would only prove what a dumbass they really are. I FORCED MYSELF TO DO IT. And I shamefully admit that there were times that I just didn't show up, didn't call and never faced whomever it was ever again...so another thing that I was robbed of (good doctors, good friends, good potential jobs, etc).

I guess what I'm saying is that, if you think you can do it, try not to put your life on hold bc of your MI. Try to live it as if every day is going to be a really good day, and maybe, just maybe every day will be a good day...and even if it's not, it'll still be ok, bc tomorrow will have the potential for being better. For me, two bad days in a row was a warning, three bad days in a row sent up a flare, four bad days in a row, fuck, send out the troops, after that, get thee to a nunnery. It is indeed a slippery slope. That's my experience, anyway.

And with all that being said - YOU ROCK MAMA! You sound awesome, and yes, taking those damned pills sucks big time...mine are before bed and I've tricked myself into believing that they put me to sleep...oh lies, sweet little lies...lol.

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