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Depressive epileptic...

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I'm brand new - and I'm here because I have (what seems like) a major therapy emergency going on, that I need advice on before... well, before tomorrow morning. Majorly freaking out tbh.

Before I go running over to the Therapy boards with my big huge bag of freakout, I thought I should at least say hi and try and calm myself the hell down.

I'm 24, and was diagnosed with simple and complex partial temporal lobe epilepsy two years ago. At least, I think it was about two years ago. I forget stuff like that. In fact, I've forgotten my whole life up to the age of 16. It figures.

Anyway, because I don't have convulsive seizures, I thought I was going mad. When I eventually 'fessed up to my mother at the age of about 17 - she's an ex-nurse who worked on mental wards for a while in the '70s - she told me never to tell anyone because I'd be locked up. It got really bad before I told anyone again, and luckily my doctor picked up on it. I'm now on Lamotrigine and don't really have a problems, apart from the odd spell of killer detachment from reality.

Before then, from childhood onwards, I was majorly bullied and intensely depressed. At 16, I started cutting - not just myself, but door frames and stuff as well - and started thinking about suicide. My cousin killed himself nearly two years ago, and he was quite like me. Like me but worse. Most of my family has had some form of uni-polar depression. Mostly I hide mine with a veneer of manic randomness-come-evil genius, so nobody takes it seriously.

That's me. I'm off to the Therapy boards now. Thanks for reading all about my desperately boring self.

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