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No question, just whining

Guest Nayathena

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Guest Nayathena

I'm on 200mg Lamictal, 60mg Cymbalta, and a bit of Wellbutrin (I can't remember the mg)

I have BPII and OCD. I had a onslaught of obsessions 9 months or so ago, so I was prescribed Lexapro on top of all that. It worked immediately, but had an expensive co-pay. After a couple months, I started tapering off the Lexapro (didn't tell the doc). I'm good, no obsessions. Started taking only 100mg of Lamictal a day. Still doing well, no racing thoughts.

Right now, it's almost 3am and I can't sleep 'cos I have restless legs. Well, restless knee. It's driving me crazy. I'm also extremely tired all the time. I cannot get enough sleep. 6 hours, not enough. 8 hours, not enough. 10 hours, not enough, etc. Extreme sugar cravings, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the drugs...

I'm considering halving my Cymbalta. It'll save me $25 a month, which, as a single mom...it certainly helps.

I was thinking about the person who said they were BPII and the medicine made them a bit "flat". I noticed that I'm a bit flat (especially now that it's 3am)...and I'm good with that. A bit flat or a lot unstable? Unfortunately, I was dealt a crappy hand and have "brain" issues...Years ago, I stopped expecting to feel what I thought "normal" was...it's just not gonna happen, and I've accepted it.

A bit flat is a world better than feeling like I am losing my mind. I'll take it. The restless leg...well, maybe halving the dose will help with that. The tiredness, too. Wish me luck.

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I need to whine as well, there is never ever enough sleep to be had. I slept the whole weekend away. Then there is 3:29 am when i cannot sleep and have to be up for work in 2.5 hrs. Halving pills is the worst idea ever but i am guilty of it as well. It saves money at the pharm and I can go longer in between drs appts which saves funds as well. I feel so frugal and for the moment and I am proud of myself for saving money! It is inevitable that i will spend a stupid amount of money on something stupid that i do not need (like the sirius stiletto 10 radio i bought a month ago that I activated and put in my glove box and have never used) There goes the money i saved by splitting my pills. I really should stop that. ;)

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So you're only on the lamictal now? Well then, you are obviously a trained psychopharmacologist and therefore completely justified in making your own decisions of what meds to be on and at what dosages. Wait - you're not? So why are you messing with your meds again? The whole point of going to a doctor is that THEY know (ok, usually know) about alllll these meds and alllll these side effects and what may work for you personally. It's a tricky thing, these meds usual take tweaking to get the right balance. If you aren't going to take the doc's advice and actually work with him on finding the best possible solution, then why go? Why be on meds if you're not going to give them a chance to work? You're pissing away whatever money you're spending on the doc and whatever meds you're on because you're not actually taking what is deemed most helpful.

Also, going off a med doesn't always show it's effects immediately. While you may feel fine at first, or have a small reaction, give it a couple months and I bet you'll be feeling just as crappy, if not crappier than you did before. It's a gradual build-up thing.

Docs should work with you in terms of side effects, and if you ask them may actually help you with the copays. If they're cool, or a tad dishonest really, they could write you a script for more than you should take and then it will last more than a month. My doc has sometimes written scripts for double the amount so a 1 month supply lasts me 2. Granted this works with copays, not coinsurance. You might as well ask. Tell the doc you are having a hard time paying for the meds and see what he says. There are also mail order programs through your ins company where you get a 3 month supply for the price of 1 or 2. Look into alternatives to just going off your meds.

I understand you wanting to save money, but what good are you if you're unstable and obsessive? What kind of mom does that allow you to be?

Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I'm not about to sit here and tell you that what you're doing is beneficial.

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Hi there,

Restless legs I can understand might be a problem. "Flatness" - cause of meds, or just early signs of depression? You're on a very low dose of Lamictal. Any lower and it will probably do nothing at all. I'm on a low dose cos I'm still titrating (again, had to stop meds for a bit due to side effects of med combination) and it does sweet fuck all.

Resultantly I'm fucking unstable right now, could be why I'm fucking swearing so fucking much, but anyway I second the thought that its a good idea to talk to your doctor about it before messing with your meds. Restless legs may be preferable to restless thoughts and an unstable mood, no?

If I'm being a git, please mod the crap out of me.

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While I see Gwen's point completely?? And I am on lamictal and able to get the generic for seventy dollars less than the brand? I don't have five dollars to eat with atm, and am borrowing to get meds either tomorrow, or at latest the day after....following directions with my BP is THAT IMPORTANT.....cept the guy I'm borrowing from just got the same job news I did.......we don't start work till next month.....so if he can't provide a loan now? I guess I'll have to go back to my leftover Tegretol , which makes me piss blood.....or no mood stabilizer at all, after a taper of some kind.

I have emailed my pdoc. No phone atm. Hoping he responds and maybe even says......hey, I have sample packs! but where I live, I seriously doubt it.

Sometimes? Its not a matter of 'wanting to save money' that we skimp on meds. ITS TO BUY FUCKING FOOD, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!

Why the fuck would I email a pdoc? Cause face to face is another thirty five bucks I DONT HAVE..........wake up and smell the fucking piss stained pants of someone who had a seizure .........Jesus H. Fucking Christ. Maybe 'single moms' and other people talk about 'saving money; which helps them when its easier to say that than, I CANT AFFORD IT and RUN A HOUSEHOLD at the same time????? Maybe, in spite of being a good lil camper, we can't follow the book cause we struggle to keep our financial head above water and our friggen BP heads from rotating like the chick in the Exorcist. Let he who has never fucked up cast the first stone.

Rant ended.

I feel so much better now.


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Guest Nayathena


Nope, you're right, I'm not a trained pharmacist...but I have been dealing with this more than half of my life, and I'm extremely aware of my moods (when I start doubting that there's anything really wrong with me...that aaaaaall the doctors I've seen...including the ones in the psych wards...are wrong, then I know things are getting a bit screwy. And since my late 20s, I've never ever gone completely off my meds).

Including my insurance, doc, drugs and therapist...I'd be at about $435 a month (I only go once a month to the therapist, my daughter goes the other times...I know I have no perspective on what a "normal" hormonal teen is-as I was not a normal teen-so I let someone else help me with that, namely, the PhD).

$435 for my fucked up brain, and it's not like I'm making big bucks. So, half of Cymbalta & lamictal, taking all of Wellbutrin, and no Lexapro saves me...$90. So now I live on $80 a week instead of $60. And only pay $345 a month. Don't mean to whine about $, but, it's a real issue for some people.

As is instability, I know.

Obsessions...I know what they are, they do not feel good, they disrupt my life and kick start depression, which exacerbates the obsessions, which exacerbates the depression, etc. I'm not going to let them go on if/when they start again. I'll go back on an SSRI...which will work immediately (2-3 days). Oh, and doc says he wants me on an SSRI for that and my period...but I'll be weepy and whiny for a couple days a month regardless. BFD. I know what it is, I know it will pass. And everyone around me knows Nay is whiny cos she's on the rag.

Hypomania: for me...this does not feel good...if I start getting a little too high, then I'll go back up to 200. If for some unlikely reason I fail to do that, or it fails to work, I'll trot myself down to hospital, admit my foolishness and beg for Doc's forgiveness (It's been over 10 years since I've had to admit myself to the "7th Floor"). I don't cross into psychosis and it feels so horrible...well, there's no mistaking it (hospitalized only twice, first time was when I was told it really wasn't depression, it was BP).

And I like my Lamictal...so, it's not like side effects are the reason I take 100 instead of 200. I like my Wellbutrin, and now it's only $12 instead of $50 like it was before. I like cymbalta, too. He took me off Effexor...and it took a few months for that to create a problem. Must be something about SRNIs that helps (I hate SSRIs passionately. Antipsychotics, too).

As for flatness...nah, not depression. Doc knows I feel a little flat, and it's my trade off. I start "poor me"-ing to him about my scrambled little brain...he says..."Wanna try diabetes instead? I hear it's especially fun for the people who go blind and get their feet amputated!". Sounds awful, but it gave me perspective. My brain still sucks, but...diabetes sounds pretty sucky, too. Oh and other things about flatness...I don't rant and cuss as much, I intellectualize my problems/personality quite a bit more, and I'm not as histrionic as I can be...blah blah blah. I'm ok with it.

I know tinkering with my meds is bad. My psychologist knows and so do my friends, in case I start acting funny. No excuse, but...damn. I'm tired of so much medicine.

And now I'm tired enough to try to sleep again, after all that wandering babbling I just did. Nice to be able to anonymously whine sometimes. Thanks.

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Feel free to whine any time you like, its all I seem to do sometimes ;)

Sorry my post was somewhat critical/probably hypocrital

I really can be a git sometimes... just as long as you weren't put off by it. Anyway, good luck with everything


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