Jump to content

People are Selfish Self-Absorbed Assholes


Recommended Posts

I am so angry. I can't sleep. I am constantly getting shafted at work, other people constantly get credit for my work. I've had one psycho asshole after another to grapple with. It's been a very rough time for me and IT TRULY IS NOT MY FAULT. (Frankly, I think being small, female, and nice is at the root of it.) But trying to get a little sympathy from one's "friends" is like fucking pulling teeth. All people want to hear about is roses and sunshine. And if something goes wrong, it must be your fault. Victims are to blame. My friend at work whines and complains nonstop about the endless parade of people who shit on her. And I always offered my sympathies. But now that I am going through a rough period with a higher than average number of assholes fucking with me--she has the nerve to tell me it must be my fault since I'm the common denominator. My other friend tells me sanctimoniously "I challenge you to meditate." It's still all on me. My fucking fault somehow for being a victim. Woe to all victims out there. You get double shafted. First by being victimized and again by being blamed for it.

I might be extra angry and handling not as well cuz I've been off meds for the past 8 months (preggers). But the facts of the case remain the same. And it's amazing the grace and restraint with which I've been putting up with the insults of these assholes who want me to take all the abuse with a smile and thank you.

If I weren't preggers, I would be looking for a new job. Unfortunately, that's not an option right now. But the point is, all I want is a little sympathy and acknowledgement from my few so-called "friends" that this is an evil world.

thanks for listening.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

you're right-being a small female who is also nice does seem to prompt certain people to either walk all over them or just screw with them for the hell of it. and sure, that sounds really cynical, but i don't think that makes it less true. i think it's the 'nice' part that really does it most of the time. in my past jobs, i've had employer's try to tell me that i don't need to sign myself up for the company benefit package because, hey, i'm young, i shouldn't even need to think about something like health care! (especially not when they're in line for a bonus for decreasing benefits enrollment), and at least two bosses who thought that they could attempt to flirt with me and tell me alllll about their sex-lives, or even how they "wouldn't mind bending [insert nice, young, female co-worker's name here] over the desk in their office, wink-wink, just because i had always been a "nice person" who surely wouldn't rat them out for sexual harassment! (and, to my shame, they were right... don't know what that says)

eh, fucking jerks.

anyway, sorry, that got a bit off topic, especially as i have no idea what's going on in your particular situation. but thought i'd share.

whatever your situation is, i'm sorry that you're having trouble with the people around you who probably can't see that you have a legitimate right to complain because they themselves can't imagine anyone else having real problems, nooo, not like they do! that seems to be why lots of folk don't sympathize with others, even others who have always sympathized with them - it would be the human, compassionate thing to do, but so many people have their heads up their asses they can only think of themselves, you know?

i hope things start turning around for ya, but in the meantime, be glad you're not one of those people with their heads too far up their ass to be able to experience compassion or sympathy for anyone (other than themselves). ;-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll join you in righteous indignation. As Bill Hicks said (please consider the context of misanthropy, not politics since that was the jist of the rant.........) Hitler was an underacheiver........endquote.

I think self absorbtion is mans biggest sin, and now its extolled as virture......?

"Vanity, definitely my favorite sin....!"

- Devil's Advocate

You all have my permission to kick ass in the war on stupidity to make it thru another goddam day. My problem with work and stuff like that? I don't burn bridges......I nuke them.

Meh, what do you expect? The whole world is bat country........

My sympathies and empathed rage and despair

Peace y'all

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm sorry, seven. that really sucks. and it sucks you can't get any support there IRL.

fwiw i hear you about being little and female and nice (and worse when you're blonde, i know, i've had my hair every colour of the rainbow). it's true - we get stomped on way more than average.

i've been a larger woman and it didn't happen as much (just too much). i've been a dark-haired woman and it didn't happen as much (though still too often). i've been a thin woman with blonde hair (now) - and it's fucking incredible what people think they can get away with. wow. it's like you have to either be a complete bitch, or get treated like a doormat - right from the beginning. no middle ground to even start with.

on the other hand, it can be pretty easy to use that same set of physical attributes to get what you want in certain situations. like that doesn't leave the taste of self-loathing in your mouth... not to mention that you hate the person you're manipulating even more for being that fucking shallow.

ugh i think i'm over-identifying here.

i wish for a piano to fall on their heads and bring you some peace (okay not literally then).

- rita

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear you and I have come to the conclusion that most people can only see others in 1 role. Like you, I am the nice supportive one. I am the "always listens, supports, empathisizes, send cards, never forgets a birthday/anniversary, and no matter how shitty things are in my life I always have time to help you type". Like you seven. And what I have discovered is that when I need just a fuckin speck of what I give to everyone else, they run for the hills. They blame me, see me as weak, and I feel pissed and like shit! After a long time I came up with the idea that they are not only really selfish, but can only see me as the giver, not the needer. If I need too, it makes the fuckers feel guilty about taking. It's all about them. So as hard as it is, and as much as it might go against who you are inside, you kinda need to develope a candy coated fuckem shell. Remind yourself that it is their shit, not yours and that you deserve to be heard, but you can't vent to them because they can't take it. Vent here, cos we can!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks everyone for the commiseration. i just needed to vent somewhere people appreciate venting and don't condemn me for having misfortunes. i feel a bit better. still angry, but better now that i've let go of having ethical expectations of these jackasses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...