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Perfect neighbors suck!


fluffybirdie

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How many of you live in one of those perfect little neighborhoods? The kind that when you bought the house, life would magically become wonderful.

I'm just having one of those moments and got set off in my head by the guy in the picturebook house behind me who has currently been leaf blowing for 3 hours--no shittin'.

I just felt the urge to hop over the deck and shove the thing up his khaki clad ass and turn it on high.

And super clarinet kid is really bugging me because what is the mental ilness that makes a 4th grader practice hours a day with the windows open? There must be a disorder for that.

And I really hate having the crappiest car in the hood, which my husband refuses to part with. you can feel real cool washin' your older civic with a raggedy bike rack.

Okay, rant over, whew...

Recently off my AD and probably PMS, sorry...

Now, tell me yours for a chuckle!

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Fluffy, I live in the country, but my neighbors used to live on Long Island in the 'burbs. Years ago, when their kids were still home, they would send them outside with old spoons and other small implements and make them dig up every dandelion in the lawn! And of course, the wind would blow seeds in from other places, new dandelions would grow and the poor kids would be out there again, digging away.

I hear ya on the perfect neighbor crap. My neighbor used to trim his lawn with manicure scissors, I swear. People like that drive me nuts. Makes me want to leave a rusted-out microbus out in back where they can see it.

olga

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Um, I mow the lawn twice a week. I think the neighbors hate us. It's not a matter of perfection, it's just my ocd running rampant. But wait, there's a downside... husband's truck is 11 years old, and I just paid off the 2002 van, and we are NOT buying a new vehicle til these just absolutely irrepairrably break down. So, no new shiny leased monster SUV's. And our dogs terrorize the pedestrians walking their dogs, so we're hated for that. Every time there;s a hard wind, branches fall into the alleyway, and drivers have to stop and move them... that doesn't score brownie points.

The hilarity of it is, the outside can look great... but god forbid you want inside... I am NOT a good housecleaner, never will be, don't WANT to be. I look at other neighbor's houses and think wow, they're really got their shit together. Happily to say tho, I live in a neighborhood of old houses, and varying degrees of upkeep. So, no stepford wives. Thank god.

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Hmm, a rusted out bus, brilliant! Can I pick one of those up at Lowe's? lol..

Maybe I could do one of those old toilet becomes flowerpot things?

Petunias seem to do well in makeshift pots like that.

FWIW, my backyard is in horrible shape - it's that time of year when even the native weeds are having a hard time of it... and the front yard is mostly brown (It's not water conservation. If I don't water it the "grass" doesn't grow and I don't have to mow. Sounds like a "win" all around)

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I think you'd love me as your neighbor... but not my first husband. (This was way back when I was married and we lived in Navy housing). When the ship was in, he was obsessed with keeping the yard neat and trim. But when he was out, HA! my grass got mowed about once a month, maybe. Weeds? Let 'em grow! They have as much right there as anything else! Leaves? They'll either blow aways or rot away, or the lawn mower will deal with 'em. Why waste time raking them? Free fertilizer. ;)

So our yard went from being one of the best kept yards on the block to - eh, not so much... hahaha!

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i LOVE working in my yard. it's the one place where i am truly at peace.

but the PERFECT people live down the street. and we hate them.

the only thing that keeps me from self immolation is knowing their yard raises my property values! heh.

fortunately i live in a funky neighborhood where most of the homes are eclectic/cottage style. but then a perfect family moves in clueless, puts a mcmansion on a .125 acre lot, and we all boo and hiss.

some days i am tempted to sneak in and cover their lawn with pink flamingos. ;)

flamingo-picture.jpg

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pink flamingos ;) on 'the sims' (game) you can put pink flamingos in your yard and people kick them and feel happy :)

all my neighbours have very nice looking house/car/lawn. but they arent so friendly. at least the ones next door anyway. the others are ok.

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My neighbor and I have perfect looking town homes from the outside. If I am manic the inside matches, if depression is rearing its ugly head, well that is a different story!!! And the neighbors inside is almost always a mess!! Knowing that some how makes me feel bgetter, I am not sure why.

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some days i am tempted to sneak in and cover their lawn with pink flamingos. ;)

flamingo-picture.jpg

There was a small business in Virginia Beach (can't remember the name) who would, for a price, cover your neighbor's lawn with pink flamingos during the night, and leave them a card telling them that it was just a prank and the flamingos would be removed by noon.

I don't remember what happened to them, but I remember reading about them in the newspaper.

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some days i am tempted to sneak in and cover their lawn with pink flamingos. ;)

flamingo-picture.jpg

There was a small business in Virginia Beach (can't remember the name) who would, for a price, cover your neighbor's lawn with pink flamingos during the night, and leave them a card telling them that it was just a prank and the flamingos would be removed by noon.

I don't remember what happened to them, but I remember reading about them in the newspaper.

:)

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I live in a subsidized housing project area but there are great programs and great people despite it all. There is poverty but nobody steals anything. Occasionally somebody gets shot and in a big city that can happen anywhere. There is a large Muslim population and a nearby Orthodox Jewish community with no ethnic tension - amazing!

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A good number of homes in my neighborhood have become rental homes. Since they are not very expensive rental homes they are rented by Mexicans (which is all good because they share thier food with me) or college kids. There is nothing better than trying to go to sleep and the next door neighbors are outside smoking weed and coughing up a lung. Then they decide to see who has louder bass on thier car stereo. Normally I would just ignore it, but this behavior usualy starts at 1:00 or 2:00 A.M. As much as I hate "perfect" neighbors, I am praying for some right now.

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My favorite neighbors are the ones who don't talk to me. Considering this complex has over a hundred townhouses, there is a feeling of privacy here. Or maybe it's just pure yankee rudeness at it's finest.

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;)

This thread is really funny.

At one time I truly felt that my neighbors sucked! Not because of what they did but because of what I did and didn't do.

I was hypo manic when I built my house. People rapidly started building houses around me and I appeared to them to be a person that had it all together.

It wasn't long before I crashed into depression and became the neighbor from hell. I let my grass grow tall and was always late (or didn't pay) the homeowners associations fees.

I let my dog out to roam and use anyone's lawn to take care of her business. She would come right back and I never once picked up after her. I can't believe that no one said anything to me about that!

Actually, my neighbors were good. I just felt so guilty and imagined everyone talking about me at the home owners association meetings.

So, it wasn't actually my neighbors that sucked, it was me!!! But, I've gotten over that. I think. :)

Glad it's in the past,

Sunshine Outside

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My mother's neighbors in upstate New York own a camel... and a baboon... and alligators... and over 20 dogs... and....

Yeah, I've seen a camel play in the snow and heard stories about him taking his baboon to the local bar and how his wife won't let Higgens (the baboon) share the bed with them anymore.

That's not even a third of the different animals he owns. The last time I was up there one of his emus escaped into my mother's driveway.

So with neighnors like those... what does that make my mom? Heh.

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;) Thanks everyone for funny stories!!!! I love the flamingo thing...

Ideal for me on my first day of Lexapro which has me feelin' like a space cadet and banning myself from driving a car for a day or 2!

More time to sit on the deck and observe, hmmmm

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