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starting to wonder...


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ok,

This is random, i just am starting to wonder if i am actually bipolar?? A couple people here do know me so maybe you got an opinion??

i often think that if you get told you are a chicken enough, you'll start acting like a chicken.....odd example, I realise this.

Its just such a name tag to carry around I'm seeing a new guy lately (which is huge for me) and yesterday he came to me and told me that some friends of his had told him to be carefull cause i was bipolar. Think twice about it.

Which upsets me A. cause its apparently common knowledge????? B. Its just so shitty for people to say or think that.

So know been thinking about the whole thing, and wondering if i am bipolar really. How do you know?

And i want to know if there is a corrilation between anorexia and BP? Was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia in high school, which i agree with, pretty straight forward that one. But then a couple years down the line i was told I was Bipolar. what came first the chicken or the egg?? Wouldn't long term ED's effect the chemicals in your brain? although things only got bad when i was at a healthy weight and eating. Are they even related? My ED's have a lot to do with control tho.

Aso told I was ADHD, when i was younger. quite hyper and get distracted by my own thoughts all the time.

I do get rather depressed i know that. But also had a lot of shit go down in my life?

I do have a bit of anxiety problem...and get a little paranoid. And there was the whole SI issue and the lack of sleep, i do get a little carried away and take things to the extreme. and over react a little...alot

Its just i don't want to also be reliant on meds my whole life if i don't have to. how do you put it all together and say Bipolar.

What other questions should i ask myself???

And a pdoc, its an opinion? and he's working with what i tell him, which again puts the ball in my court.

.......so confussed

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Hey Ash - Nobody here can diagnose you, obviously, but I did want to say a couple of things. First, there are times when your blog entries and posts seem kind of manic-y, FWIW. More scattered and kind of, what's the word I want? Just speedier, maybe, than could be accounted for by ADHD. So there's that.

Second, it is incredibly common for bipolar people to question their dx when they're feeling stable. So common that it should practically be part of the diagnostic criteria. So there's that too.

Don't know if that helped at all...

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Co-morbid anxiety is not that uncommon in bipolar and paranoia is pretty common too, not just when you are having episodes necessarily either.

Really try hard and think about your life. Like Sasha said, it's really not uncommon for BPs to rethink their diagnosis. It happens often and is one of the more likely reasons people stop taking their meds [the other being something along the lines of "I feel fine now, so the meds must have worked" or "I feel fine now, so I don't need the meds anymore"]

Try to make a timeline either in your head or on paper and think about relationships you have had, how your moods have been, how your behavior has been. It's not surprising for someone to be diagnosed with depression and ADHD/ADD and then BP later, either.

I know when I am out of an episode, though, it's really difficult for me to think about being IN it anymore: how I felt, how intense it was, and the effect it had on my life.

So really give these things some thought. That's all the advice I can give you, really.

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