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My moods have been all over the place


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the past few days, I have been up, down, normal, anxious, irritable and I am tired of it. Tuesday I was up all day. I couldn't seem to sit still. I was on the go all day too. Everyone seemed to be so slow and I couldn't seem to go fast enough. Driving, I went much faster than I usually do even when I am manic. But it wasn't just driving either. I went to the mall and people walking in front of me were walking so slow and I couldn't go around them. so of course I started getting irritated.

yesterday I was down and up at the same time. more up than down but I really hate that feeling. I don't know how to feel or what exactly I am feeling when I am like that. again I went to the mall and bought things that I really didn't need then I felt guilty for it and anxious about what dh is going to say. I want to give him the atm card but I am afraid he will ask me why and when I tell that I have been spending too much and how much is left in the bank he will get upset and I can't deal with that right now.

Today, again I don't know how I am feeling, or what to feel. I have three kids home on their mid term break until monday, and one son home because he didn't want to go on the field trip they are having today. I don't really want them to be home. I want them to be in school. Does that sound horrible? But on the flip side, they can help me watch the baby. While I get the things done that I need to. But she wants to be with me all the time. I have recently stopped nursing her so she is really clingy now. I can't even go to the bathroom without her screaming. i can't let her sit on the couch next to me without her climbing on my lap again. I guess I can't reallly call her a baby anymore since she is 1 1/2, LOL.

So that is how it has been for me. I know I have only been on my meds for a week, but I wish they would really kick in. They are working some, I don't get as angry as I usually do when I am manic and don't get as down as usual. but I am just tired of feeling this way. I wish I didn't even have to take meds, but what can I do?

anyway, I am rambling now so I will go and try to get some things done. I hope you all are feeling good today.

BTW, anyone here on Facebook?

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No words of advice, sorry. Just wanted to say that I completely understand the feeling. My moods can and do switch every few minutes somedays. It actually makes me grateful for the day long moods (unless it is the dreaded depression ;) ).

So I said all that to say: You are not alone!!

All my best to you

Another One

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Not to add paranoia to the mix, but Facebook been getting bad press lately. Months ago, it was reported that you couldnt actually delete your private info.....they merely deactivate your account. Then an expose on how easily a false facebook user could link to hundreds of people and find out way too many details about you and your friends using their applications..........be careful out there. Users protested and now you can actually close out your account.

As for the mood thing, the key at the moment is patience, difficult as that is. And to be honest, I have days like that when the meds are working.........they don't prevent mood swings entirely, they just help you manage them more effectively......along with other tools like a good tdoc who really listens, a support group of close friends or family members, and so on.

Welcome to the Med Go Round. And lo, it sucketh. But your among friends and we know what youre going thru. And the kick in could be a few weeks later, or it could be next week. Hang on a bit, cut yourself slack whereever you can, and don't mistake the disorder for your personality.

Life with BP was never an "Oh Hell its Monday" kitten poster. Its more like a Giger painting or a Dali painting. Actually more like a Kafka story. Hence, the suggestion to give yourself room to get well. Its a serious disorder and, quite often its the waiting that sucks. Heres hoping your meds kick in soon and this week will soon be a hazy memory........

peace

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No words of advice, sorry. Just wanted to say that I completely understand the feeling. My moods can and do switch every few minutes somedays. It actually makes me grateful for the day long moods (unless it is the dreaded depression ;) ).

So I said all that to say: You are not alone!!

All my best to you

Another One

Thanks for commiserating(?) with me. It is nice to know that I can always come here and be among friends who understand.

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Thank you. that has helped me put things in perspective. I don't think dh can be much more patient with my spending problems. Although he really tries.

Sometimes it is hard to tell where the BP ends and I begin. As far as finding a good tdoc, I don't know if there are any good ones here in Qatar. and it isn't like I can just ask around about it either, with it being so tabboo here. I guess I will have to ask my pdoc when I see her on monday.

I will try my best to be patient. as far as facebook, thanks for the warning. I do limit how much personal information I put on any site. I rarely if ever fill any or all of the profile. I never put my address or phone number or real name and I have a lot of privacy settings on my facebook account. but I will make sure they will delete all of it if I close my account.

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