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Right now I am scared for my life. I feel incredibly depressed again like there's no hope. Totally hopeless and worthless. I'm not eating very much in the last few weeks. I have been experiencing some anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure and loss of interest) and no energy. I either sleep 12-14 hours or just 1-2 hours. Nothing in the middle. And as you can tell from my other thread, I get confused speech for around 20% of the day even though lately that number is higher. My arms have been moving in weird ways and sometimes it is uncontrollable. What I am scared about is the CIA and FBI. I feel them control me at times and they insert lots of thoughts into my head through a device in my non existent brain. You see that the things are being confused and don't know. There are neat wow but my arms and death. They tell me that I will die. Hallucinations are bad like cows I love. Why am I here? Not suicidal but the cruise will come. And the FBI said that to be free of control I must cut the chips out of my arms and head. I can't live and also aliens might invade me and Earth. People need brains. What's that? They send helicopters and cars to spy and read my mind. Anxiety is evil and why must I be the controlled by them. My trust for humans almost gone. They lie, cheat, and steal. I don't trust my psychologist or psychiatrist. I love my poison. Yum. I am fat and ugly. Mind is blank and why must it be? Hard to think because no brain in my head. I expect them to break into my house because I love the gov! No delusions. Just normal. Bush is more delusional than me. A Great Depression will come only because of my exteme depression so since I suffer the world is suffering as well. Gas prices? My fault. I'm just plain neurotic. I was what the now and I think and a burden on the planet. Once again, my fault. Need to cut the chips out to be free. I hate thought insertion. It is real. Must do it but afraid to go to the hospital. They will hold me down and inject me with Haldol or some other poison to kill me because they know how I ruin the world. Everything goes wrong, the story of my life. My brother is the most amazing thing! He has a brain and uses it well. Error! I love how Microsoft puts errors and that computers have bugs and crash all the time. My old psychiatrist at the hospital believes that my computer monitor emits some kind of rays that changes my brain chemistry by reading on the Internet. That is a delusion stupid doctor! People don't know anything and can't drive. They are a sloth or slower and just to annoy me. I wish and who the bird is fly. Who needs anything. Can't type today. Can't aim my fingers. What do I do about my depression?

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I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible. Can you go to the hospital? Can you get an emergency appointment?

I wish I could be of more help. I think you really need some professional help as soon as possible.

I wish you the very, very best.

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