I screwed up

[tiredoftherapy21]

so not only have I been restricting and fasting when not restricting but after an suicide attempt the other day I have managed to fuck myself over again and my liver yet again. by taking too many ephedra diet pills today!! I really think I dont deserve to be a mom, alive, or even to be in this eating disorder section, but I am obviously not trying hard enough to fight this damn ed, or else I wouldnt have taken those damn diet pills, and been so weak and my heart going insane today. I deserve this.

my own prison my own demise. Please dont be like me and please, dont ever take ephedra, bc I knwo there are still places to get it, and I dont want you to think, that you shoudl ever. It screwed me up majorly health wise, my abuse of them when I was younge,r and now that I know what they can do to induce eating disorder behavior(aka not eating), I am screwed , bc now I Know what they can do, and want to use them. and yet at the same time. I want to stop this, but I dont know how anymore.

[Guest Spacegirl]

Oh no! Sorry to see that you're having such a difficult time.

If you're okay with folks praying for you, I'd like to pray for your strength in continuing to fight this evil disease...

If not, I'll just be thinking of you. <3

[Ashdene]

I'm sorry you not feeling so great! But dont think should knock yourself so hard.

Eating disorders don't make you less worther to be a mum, because i definately know a lot of worse qualities that some mothers have!!

Takeing ephedra is not really a good idea hope you ok. but it happens and you know its not right as you said, so thats why you here. Its a good place to get this stuff off your chest. I often feel like i should have no right to be here, and am a total hypocrit to be here.

But keeping chatting and hopefully we can help.

Luvies