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pbs, out of the shadows

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Did you see the 2hr show on wed. pbs.org, about depression.

I have seen numerous attempts to convey what depression was all about but NONE have done it so well as this one.. even after 30 yrs of this illness, and constant investigation to see what might help with my refractive bipolar depression.. I learned about something new.. it was great...

I wonder if anyone has any exp with this ketamine treatment they talked about..

anyone else see it?


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I watched half last night and got kind of overwhelmed.

I just finished watching the rest.

Honestly I'm kind of shaking and at one point I just burst into tears.

I agree its a much better look at depression than anything I've seen before, but...

the thing that always kills me about these shows is the constant reference to

how "treatable" depression is.

they did a good job getting to the severity of the disease- but even in these extreme cases- each found some successful treatment. ( except the suicide they refered to- but that they imply was because he didn't get treatment.)

They give the happy ending to each other story.

How come all this treatment hasn't helped me???

I've had the drugs, the talk, the groups, the environment changes, etc...

HOw come they ( the people profiled) can go on to write books, have more children, have succesful careers and on and on.

they find the right meds or the ect works or whatever it is. None of them were left still searching.

I have yet to find the right cocktail and I've been doing this for 15 years! Its still trial and error.

I still can't work or have kids or anything that requires any consistancy or reliability.

The only reliable thing in my life is that I am not reliable because of all this.

I've never heard about the ketamine- sounds interesting and not so invasive- but seems that it is experimental.

there is no way i'm having brain surgery.

After all these years of treatment- it doesn't feel so treatable to me.

This makes me so mad and sad and frustrated. what's wrong with me that I'm not treatable?

Stop telling me to hold on because i'll get better. Where's any evidence of that?

What do you mean better anyway?

I haven't been inpt in a few years, that's better right? I still don't leave the house much, so how much better is it really?

Its like a fever of 104 is better than a fever of 106-but its still a darn high fever!

Oh this just SUCKS!! I feel worse having watched it and i think it was meant to show how much better it could be. HAH!!

***could a mod maybe move this to depression or BP forum?

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this is still really bugging me. i don't know if it brought my mood down or just made me notice it was.

i can't stop thinking about all the descriptions and how oddly and sadly, they sounded so normal to me.

i know this isn't right and i hate it- and its hard to believe there are actually people who don't live like this.

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I seen parts of it this afternoon, but they left their website on the air which is PBS.org and they list it under depression on the main page. I think it helped me seeing how common it is, and that it really ain't "all in the head" and is sometimes genetic. But it also saddens because if it is genetic that it ain't really fair, for the child to get this illness from the genes. Yet, there are treatments, it is really hard to find one that works well. I just hope my kids don't get it. I didn't have this BP illness till after i had my kids, never knew that i would have it like my mom. But the show is good to enlighten people and show that there are treatments that help for i am sure that there would be alot more deaths.

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