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What do you do when meds, therapy, exersise, and healthy eating dont work?


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I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I am on many meds, and they worked...for a while. I am in individual therapy once a week and in group therapy once a week. I exersise five to six times a week, and when I can force myself to eat, I eat very healthy foods. I also take flaxseed oil, to help with my mood. I do well in school, the few friends I do have are very supportive, and I have a teacher who is a great confidant.

Even though I have all that, I am miserable. I can rarely get more than two or three hours of sleep at night, I rarely can get myself to eat, either. Food feels horrible in my body. Sometimes I go for over a week without eating. I cut myself a great deal...this month in particular, the cuts have been deeper than usual (not enough for stiches, luckily). I try to fill up all my time with as many activities as possible because when I have nothing to do, I cry and cry. I spend most nights around 2, 3 in the morning crying. Sometimes I drive into empty parking lots to cry. I feel so sad, all the time. I have to force a smile on my face every single day. It never comes naturally. Sometimes I just want to give up and die. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel as if I've tried everything, what else can I do? I really hope someone responds to this, I don't know how much longer I can take. : (

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greencativ, it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but you are still struggling. Especially with the SI and the ED, it sounds like you are kind of in a crisis. Would your therapist consider a hospitalization for you? If you feel that out of control, maybe the hospital would be a place for you to make some changes in your meds, or address these important issues.

Does your tdoc know that you cry every night for hours? Does she know about the SI? It would seem to me that these are big neon signs of danger and she ought to be treating you with different drugs, or with a different type of therapy.

If you are at the end of your rope, you should go to the Emergency Room. Please do that for yourself. Your life can be better, it really can. I don't think you're getting good treatment.

Please write again.

olga

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My heart goes out to you! I have been where you are and in some ways still am. You need to get help. Consider going to the emergency room. There are a lot of antidepressants to try. I have tried many and not found a lot of success, but that does not mean you will have the same experience. A am at the point know where I am going to try ECT, it has shown to be very effective in treating depression. You also need to sleep. When I was not sleeping I asked my doctor for some ambian until things settled down. Now I take the antidepressant Remeron which knocks me out. Believe me you will feel better when you are getting sleep. I don't know if you are taking anything for anxiety, but that might help too.

Like I said I have been where you are and it is horrible. I am amazed that you are still able to exercise and go to school. It may not feel like it but you are a really strong person. Keep fighting, hopefully we will both find some relief from his horrible disease.

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greencativ, it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but you are still struggling. Especially with the SI and the ED, it sounds like you are kind of in a crisis. Would your therapist consider a hospitalization for you? If you feel that out of control, maybe the hospital would be a place for you to make some changes in your meds, or address these important issues.

Does your tdoc know that you cry every night for hours? Does she know about the SI? It would seem to me that these are big neon signs of danger and she ought to be treating you with different drugs, or with a different type of therapy.

If you are at the end of your rope, you should go to the Emergency Room. Please do that for yourself. Your life can be better, it really can. I don't think you're getting good treatment.

Please write again.

Unfortunately, the er is not an option for me...they only take you in if you are suicidal...and even then it's hard to get in unless you have made an actual attempt. I do not feel suicidal, but I do feel overwhelmingly sad. Unfortunately, I have Borderline personality disorder as well as depression, so I have to have DBT therapy according to my tdoc and ECT is apperently not allowed for people with borderline...so I still feel really stuck. But thank you so much for the suggestion! : ) It makes me feel a little better.

olga

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I can't claim any knowledge of Borderline, so take this with a grain of salt! But I kind of question any therapist who would say "you have this type of problem so X is the ONLY kind of therapy". People are different. They see things differently. They relate differently. I'm not questioning the Dx, but some therapists see DXs differently. Even if you agree with your current tdoc and the Dx feels right to you and the therapy feels right to you, one time per week - especially with your level of distress - just seems to allow too much 'down time'.

I know with any therapy there is a $$ cost that really restricts things so I don't know what you can do. But I would look hard at these things. More sessions? Another approach?

Anyway, I'll cut short my rambling. I started therapy at 1X/week after seeing Pdoc 1X/mo w/ meds. Then I bumped up to 2X/week and thought it would be excessive. Then to 3X/week! and the gaps are becoming even more difficult to live with. It's too easy for me to 'fall away' and distance myself. I have difficulties with closeness and trust (among others!) so I'm finally realizing that, for me (maybe not you) that what some psychotherapists say about needing to see them 5X/week is really true. (Impossible - unless you are rich - or willing to live in abject poverty for the sake of therapy - which I ALMOST feel like I'm doing now!)

Oops, I didn't cut short my rambling! Sorry! I'll quit now! ;)

Good luck

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