Can you identify?

[abitcrazy]

This is me. Can anyone identify?

• The biggest asshole in the world when I'm hypomanic/irritable.
  
• "Does he really have to breathe that loudly? I'm going to kick his ass for being so obnoxious."
  
• Regretful, now that I realize that my young daughter has never seen me "normal" in her entire life.
  
• Messed up/terminal relationships with wife, friends, etc.
  
• Seriously antisocial. I think I've surfed the entire Internet. Twice. Nightly.
  
• Bought a boatload of shit I don't need when surfing. Usually purchased between the hours of midnight and 3 am.
  
• Downloaded more iTunes songs than I can listen to in 5 lifetimes. "But every new song is so much better than the old ones." Go ahead, guess what time I download the songs...
  
• Bored when I don't engage in substance abuse.
  
• Always addicted to something. Nicotine, alcohol, benzos, combos of substances, etc.
  
• Life of the party when I've had a few drinks (OK, a lot of drinks).
  
• Even bigger life of the party when I'm on my benzos.
  
• Blacking out when mixing benzos with alcohol (NOT GOOD - stopped this! )
  
• Wishing they would find a way to make Long Island Iced Tea stronger (Is there really any tea in there? Does it matter?).
  
• Frustrated with pdoc. I know she's probably right, but the fixes are moving way too slowly. "Hello? I'm trying to live a life here while you try to find the right cocktail to fix me! A little help, please."
  
• Afraid to lose the "me" that is intertwined with the BP me
  
• Everyone is a slack-jawed idiot!
  
• Everyone is my friend!
  
• Feeling uncertain sharing this with people I don't even know (even though I know you're fellow crazies).
  

Sound even remotely familiar?

[OreoKitty]

This is me. Can anyone identify?

• "Does he really have to breathe that loudly? I'm going to kick his ass for being so obnoxious."
  
• Seriously antisocial. I think I've surfed the entire Internet. Twice. Nightly.
  
• Bought a boatload of shit I don't need when surfing. Usually purchased between the hours of midnight and 3 am.
  
• Bored when I don't engage in substance abuse.
  
• Always addicted to something. Nicotine, alcohol, benzos, combos of substances, etc.
  
• Life of the party when I've had a few drinks (OK, a lot of drinks).
  
• Even bigger life of the party when I'm on my benzos.
  
• Blacking out when mixing benzos with alcohol (NOT GOOD - stopped this! )
  
• Wishing they would find a way to make Long Island Iced Tea stronger (Is there really any tea in there? Does it matter?).
  

Sound even remotely familiar?

(Edited above quote: Removed some items I didn't identify with)

Seriously irritated by other people's breathing.

Never leave the house at times.

Will buy anything just about.

I have to address the substance abuse. Been there, done that. Mixed lots of pills with drinking. Couldn't drink enough. My pdoc told me there wasn't enough alcohol to put out that fire. Went to AA during one of my first huge depressions. Thank god it took. I would have been in real trouble as my BP worsened and if I had those manic episodes drinking. Sober was bad enough.

Look at the How to tell if your bipolar thread, or something like that...I think that it is You know you are bipolar when...

Oreo

[Dr.Faustus]

Thank God I read this, I thought I was the only one!

[withing]

This is me. Can anyone identify?

• The biggest asshole in the world when I'm hypomanic/irritable.
  
• "Does he really have to breathe that loudly? I'm going to kick his ass for being so obnoxious."
  
• Regretful, now that I realize that my young daughter has never seen me "normal" in her entire life.
  
• Seriously antisocial. I think I've surfed the entire Internet. Twice. Nightly. (only when hypo or depressed)
  
• Bought a boatload of shit I don't need when surfing.
  
• Afraid to lose the "me" that is intertwined with the BP me
  
• Everyone is a slack-jawed idiot!
  
• Everyone is my friend!
  

Sound even remotely familiar?

These are the ones that sound like me. I'm so terrified of what might happen if I mix alcohol with meds that once I started taking meds, I completely stopped drinking alcohol.

[Gwen]

Dad, is that you???

I'm only kidding, of course, but you do remind me an awful lot of my BP dad.

[Reborn]

The biggest asshole in the world when I'm hypomanic/irritable.

No you're not, I am. Did I mention mania makes me narcissitic and grandiose?

Does he really have to breathe that loudly? I'm going to kick his ass for being so obnoxious.

"Oh my god, I can't believe he said hi to me. Can't he see I'm busy? What an asshole, I should throw the remote at him for wasting my time!" I was in a cheery, happy mood and my roommate/best friend said hi to me. This is the thought that went through my head. I was manic, but even I realized a bit later that the thought was absolutely insane. Thank god I went and hid in my room so I wouldn't do anything stupid.

Bought a boatload of shit I don't need when surfing. Usually purchased between the hours of midnight and 3 am.

I suppose it's a good thing I'm out jogging between midnight and 3 am when I'm manic, or I'd probably have the same problem.

Always addicted to something. Nicotine, alcohol, benzos, combos of substances, etc.

You forgot caffeine

Wishing they would find a way to make Long Island Iced Tea stronger (Is there really any tea in there? Does it matter?)

Yeah, it's called everclear. I've gone through a quarter of a bottle in one night.

Afraid to lose the "me" that is intertwined with the BP me

I used to think that. I've learned to deal with the disorder unmedicated over the years, so I can use as little mediation as possible. Enough to keep me sane, but not enough to eliminate all moodiness.

Everyone is a slack-jawed idiot!

Except me of course. Again, there's that I'm-better-than-everyone-else-because-I'm-a-manic-narcissitic-prick mindset.

Sound even remotely familiar?

Just a little

[Dr.Faustus]

Make friends with the bartender, and tell him to give you a double ice tea......two of every shot. Add Lemon and Cola..........no tea in them at all......hope that doesn't burst your bubble

Do two of those ? You get bent.

Or, just find a bartender who makes good ones and go at twofer one happy hours??? Duh, hello...

Last time I ordered one the bartender didn't know how, so they gave me the bottles and I taught em how.....

Other than that? All the sick shit you describe?? I can sooooooooo not identify........hehe....

Really love the comment of 'learning how to live with it unmedicated for years" and maybe that explains why my present med cocktail is small.....hell, if I could fake getting by without meds, it shouldn't take all that many to make life a little easier.....albeit a bit dizzier, but I 'm wierd that way....I like bouts of med dizziness. So much more intense than normal dizzy........

cheeers