Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

So a depression started a few days ago, and it has been getting worse.

This is my first episode this year. I'm worried that this is gonna be a big one.

The pain is still bearable (barely).

I am just wondering what it is that I can do now (while I'm still somewhat functional) so that I can make the following days/weeks more easy and bearable. What supports can I put in place now?

Also, what can do done to deal with the acute pain, as it comes on?

r.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

apart from making sure you've got plenty of food in the house in case things get bad and you can't get out for ages... its probably a good idea to contact your pdoc ASAP, so he can adjust your meds and assess your mental state... and check out some of the threads here re: depression/suicidal thoughts and how to deal with it in the meantime... get as much support from friends as you can, and if you need to talk you have my number mmkay?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't anticipate the depression so much that you bring it on. It won't necessarily be as bad as in the past. I understand wanting to be realistic and prepared, but take things as they come, try not to think that just because things were 1 way in the past that they will be that way again.

Call doc immediately. Tell him that you think something's coming and ask what can you do. If you have a tdoc call him too. Preventative medicine is powerful.

Next - prepare like you would for a hurricane. Make sure you are caught up with whatever work/errands/chores/bills you have to do. Definitely a good idea to stock up on food, canned goods, frozen, but don't forget toilet paper and laundry detergent. I recently ran out of laundry detergent and that's a scary thing. Anyone's birthday coming up that you could forget? Do that too. Buy books or crafts or something to occupy time. Oh yeah, get rid of extraneous sharp objects or weapons.

Is the pain you are talking about medical or psychological/emotional? If it's medical I have no idea about what to take. If it's not... well hell I don't really know about that either. I found curling myself up in a ball and sobbing until I was exhausted helpful. Eating. Sedating myself and sleeping a lot. Posting here constantly and writing a blog. Being a good girl and trusting docs to tell me what to do and waiting it out.

Sucks when you feel it coming like a freight train and you are just staring blankly into the oncoming lights...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While you are checking links on the board, here is one where you might find some ideas.

[link=http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=23101"'>http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=23101" target="_blank]http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=23101[/link]

I agree with Supergwen...don't expect this will be as 'bad' as last time. It's really good that you are wanting ideas on how to handle this!

Here's another: http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=21637

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all for the warm fuzzy thoughts.

Still rather choppy and drizzling here in raining-land. Got drunk one night - big mistake. Felt so much worse mood-wise the next day.

There are just things to do that have to get done, and I don't think I could let my moods interfere.

Below is just a boring account of what happened in the past few days. Ignore:

On another day, checked the mail and then traveled to about eight churches before I found one open for me to sit in.

Sat there for a hour, then spoke with a priest for two. Felt much better and calmer. Next day, went around, tried to be productive and to get things done.

Sunday, caught up on sleep and went to afternoon mass for the first time in ages (7 years?). Didn't help much. Wandered the city late in the afternoon in lousy weather. Feeling extremely lonely, wanting to drink/smoke, but didn't want to drink alone (or start smoking again after quitting so hard).

Rang a few friends. They were either occupied or had voicemail on (what kind of hopeless bastard is on-call on short notice on a Sunday night anyway)?

Incredibly lonely and dejected. Didn't want to go home, but have nothing to do/nowhere to go in the city. Had one drink. Ate and watched a movie by myself. Got home and still feeling very dejected and lonely. Think I'll just shower and sit on the net for a bit, and then sleep...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Raining,

You're still pretty much functional if you're still doing things that need to get done such as bathing and paying bills. Good for you. That helps a lot. It sounds like you've been through this before, so you already know that it will get better. Sometimes you have to keep telling yourself that, even if it's hard to believe.

Everyone else is right about calling your doc. It's a whole lot easier to stop a slide than to dig yourself out of the bottom of the abyss.

Raining or not, go outside. Every day. Just for awhile. It's too easy when depressed to become stuck inside and then afraid (or just unwilling) to go outside.

Remind yourself of your good points. Yes, you have them. Make a list of them. Read it every time you feel like you don't deserve to be here. You do, you just can't seem to feel it right now.

Plan things to do, and then do them. Go to the nursery and buy some new plants. Gather up old clothes and take them to a homeless shelter. Go to the library. Go to a movie. These are all things you can do alone. Personally, I'm not very good at being around people when I'm depressed. I'll go through all the motions, but it doesn't make me feel better. Lots of times I feel worse because, in effect, I've lied to my friends and still feel like a depressed piece of crap. 0 for 2.

And there's the emergency plan. It's a sorry fact that we have to be prepared for the worst. But there it is. You have to have a cut off point, when you know you have to do something more than hanging on. Write it up before you need it. Include all the information you need. If an emergency call to your pdoc is at the top of the list, include the phone number. Same deal with a hospital, emergency room, or clinic. Don't give yourself the excuse of not having the energy to look up a number. Call a help-line. You don't have to be suicidal; if talking to someone familiar with crisis situations will get you through the next few hours, call. That's why they're there.

Don't forget the crazyboards chat room. The link is on the line underneath the Crazyboards.Org title line at the top of the main page. There are usually people there chatting about general stuff, but a person needing help is always the top priority.

Take care of yourself. I hope you feel loads better very soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much to everybody for their good wishes.

For the record:

I have been depressed for exactly one week, from today.

I don't wanna call my pdoc, because

1. It's not that bad yet

2. I don't wanna appear to be an attention-seeking/high-maintenance/liability patient

3. I want to be stable so badly, that I am willing to pretend to be stable, and brush this episode off "normal sadness" - maybe it would go away tomorrow.

4. There is really nothing anyone can do for me - they'll probably just wait-and-see anyway.

So, today, I slept in. Bad weather again.

Got out of bed with great effort

Went out and ate, came back and did the laundry

The calls that I was hoping for today didn't come, and consequently I have to make a few calls today/tomorrow.

I'm tired (physically and emotionally)

I'm worried

I anxious to a level of paranoia (mostly of what others are thinking of me)

I am stressed

(But I wanna go easy on the benzos)

I don't know what I can do, where I can go, or how it would end up.

I'm not really agitated, and I don't think I've lost my head yet.

Hoping that this would go away soon. The paranoia is also stopping me from seeking refuge in my friends - somehow I don't trust them so much suddenly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been depressed for exactly one week, from today.

I don't wanna call my pdoc, because

1. It's not that bad yet

If you think its gonna get worse than for fucks sake talk to your pdoc before it does.

but on the other hand don't go talking yourself into being more depressed, one week is a pretty breif time to be depressed usually... but its your call as to how bad you think it is. You sound fairly functional at present, I guess if you're starting to lose functionality and/or start getting serious suicidal thoughts its probably time to get worried about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been depressed for exactly one week, from today.

I don't wanna call my pdoc, because

1. It's not that bad yet

If you think its gonna get worse than for fucks sake talk to your pdoc before it does.

but on the other hand don't go talking yourself into being more depressed, one week is a pretty breif time to be depressed usually... but its your call as to how bad you think it is. You sound fairly functional at present, I guess if you're starting to lose functionality and/or start getting serious suicidal thoughts its probably time to get worried about it.

Agreed. Don't convince myself it's going to get worse. Convince yourslf it's going to get better. Easier said then done, I know. But don't work yourself up and get all freaked out saying "It's going to get worse, it's going to get worse."

Call your doctor if you're really worried. Don't worry about it being "not that bad". If you're concerned, it IS that bad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been depressed for exactly one week, from today.

I don't wanna call my pdoc, because

1. It's not that bad yet

If you think its gonna get worse than for fucks sake talk to your pdoc before it does.

This should be a CB mantra. Along with "call your pdoc".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...