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An Ethical Dilemma


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I started cutting again after seven months. I cut every night when my parents go to sleep. I feel as if I am lying to my parents by not telling them that I am cutting again. The thing is, if my parents find out I am cutting again, they will not let me go away to college and will make me commute to college.

I need to get out of my house! My dad is contantly screaming at me about...pretty much anything he can think of and when he hits walls and throws things, it scares me. My mom goes out of her way to hurt my feelings when she is angry (she has admitted this to me).

I don't want to lie to my parents, but I want to go away to school at the same time. I am really confused about what to do.

Please don't tell me just to "stop cutting". It's just not that easy, I've tried that...many times. I have attended a year long session of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, I am in individual therapy, I pray for the courage to stop cutting, I am taking my meds properly, and I try very hard to distract myself.

Any advice would be greatly appriecated. Thank you.

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off the top of my head, it sounds like your home environment is a toxic one and NOT conducive to healing/working through your issues. it sounds pretty darn dsyfunctional & not a good place to be living.

i'd suggest taking the problem to your therapist & working on it via that route.

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greencativ, you are working really hard at using the DBT skills. I'm impressed, since willingness to use them is often so hard to achieve.

You're right about needing to remove yourself from your toxic home life. It's a form of torture to be dependent on the people who hurt you to help you escape the people who hurt you. They have all the power. You have all the pain. Is there a safe person you could stay with for a while?

Can you work with your t-doc to develop a plan for when they find out you've been cutting? It's been my experience that it becomes apparent even if the physical evidence isn't visible. Your withdrawal will probably raise their suspicions. Accusations will follow. I'm sure you know the rest.

Any chance of them going to sessions with you? They've invested money in DBT and therapy; now they need to invest themselves.

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