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Hello everybody i have a problem regarding my boyfriend and would appreciate some advice.

ive been with him for over 11 years now, and in all that time since ive known him he had mild depression only occured every so often not all the time, he described it as lost and lonely feeling, in a hole and cant get out etc, obviously i cant relate as i dont suffer depression, i never had.

Anyway about just over a year ago, he decided to do EVP in the graveyard, (electronic voice phenomena), taping voices of spirits. (he wanted proof) and he ended up getting more than the proof he wanted.

He started hearing the voices without the equiptment. outside and internally in his head

It was pretty bad.

Insisted he was hearing spirits and demons.

He ended seeing his doctor and being put on meds, zyprexa and effexor.

External voices stopped. but was still left with the internal one's but he still says he hears external ones if he listens hard enough.

He thinks he is now psychic.

Jump ahead to now

Hes currently seeing a therapist, took 6 months here in UK to get one, hes now getting along with the voices, the main one hes hearing is a girl called louise.

Obviously as his partner ive been through all of this with him (as an observer, which is so frustrating, as there was nothing i could do, to help him). what hes saying the "spirits" are telling him is what he already knows, they cant tell him anything other than that.

I personally know its not what he thinks it is.

Anyway the problem i have now is hes having full blown conversations with his mind, he thinks hes bloody psychic of the year, to a degree now that he wants to sell our house (its a joint mortgage, mine and his) not work, claim social, and take his so called "gift" further.

Ive told his mother and family and there encouraging him to go seek a spiritualist church and learn how to use it.

So now, im in a situation where im battling his mind, and his family, Im basically trying to win a losing battle, and im at arms length away from walking away from all of it.

Ive got a lot to lose, my home, my job and 11 years of my life with the person i wanted to be with.

What would you do ????

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Obviously these voices are part of the psychosis. The best hope is for him to honest with his doctor and the therapist, work to find a better med level or cocktail and work with therapist to recognize and resist the voices.

However, its an uphill battle with his parents going against reason, and him lost in the delusion.

Perhaps he would permit you to go to his next visits to his doc and therapist, where you could explain to them what is going on. If he won't permit this, then perhaps you could go on your, or arrange a phone call, or write a letter to them. If he hasn't given you access to his medical records, then it might be a one way conversation in which the doc listens to what you say, can't comment on his specific condition, but still may have some recommendations for you.

In all your caring remember that you must take care for your health first, and avoid allowing his bad decisions to bankrupt you.

Best, a.m.

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He may be right. I communicate with spirits too. Why dont you believe him? Do you not believe in ghosts? Ghosts are very real. Why dont you go ghost hunting yourself to find out. Some people are in tune with them, some people aren't. If hes getting along with the ghosts, theres no problem to solve.

Me personally speaking, I have always been into the paranomal, and i know ghost and spirits exist. I am also spiritual, into crystal therapy in which i have been trying to help heal him.

When this happened and he started hearing the voices, booming down on him, on his head, in his head, in the wind when were driving 100mph down the motorway, noise vibrations, in the fan, fridge etc. This happened within the space of 2 weeks. He even thought they put a sea creature in his ear so he can speak to them telpathically, well he said they said they did.

We went to a priest, the first thing they said was do you suffer depression? they didnt want to know.

We got people in to cleanse the house and to heal his aura etc.

Now I also know that people who have a lower vibrating aura (this occurs when someone has an underlying illness) ie depression, when this happens you can latch an attached, and it does state when you do evp, that if you suffer depression DO NOT even go there.

At that time he did start coming out with information that he would never know. That made me reliase he must of latched an attached.

i did an aura sweep on him as like i said I assumed he had an attached spirit, he started shaking and shivering strangely, anyway since then hes not come out with anything proof wise no information as such, just weird things like "Whats ham", (this is what the voice is saying) etc. other stuff he comes out with is like i said things that he and i already know, but being told in his head in a girls voice.

Hes also changed, his whole persona, he not the same person, its like im living with a stranger, he cant remember things that hes done, ie set the alarm on the car, turned the oven off etc. he has to continously check things to make sure, Its like hes got memory lapses.

He also doesnt want to interact with people around him, hes more involved with whats going on inside his head.

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He may be right. I communicate with spirits too. Why dont you believe him? Do you not believe in ghosts? Ghosts are very real. Why dont you go ghost hunting yourself to find out. Some people are in tune with them, some people aren't. If hes getting along with the ghosts, theres no problem to solve.

Me personally speaking, I have always been into the paranomal, and i know ghost and spirits exist. I am also spiritual, into crystal therapy in which i have been trying to help heal him.

When this happened and he started hearing the voices, booming down on him, on his head, in his head, in the wind when were driving 100mph down the motorway, noise vibrations, in the fan, fridge etc. This happened within the space of 2 weeks. He even thought they put a sea creature in his ear so he can speak to them telpathically, well he said they said they did.

We went to a priest, the first thing they said was do you suffer depression? they didnt want to know.

We got people in to cleanse the house and to heal his aura etc.

Now I also know that people who have a lower vibrating aura (this occurs when someone has an underlying illness) ie depression, when this happens you can latch an attached, and it does state when you do evp, that if you suffer depression DO NOT even go there.

At that time he did start coming out with information that he would never know. That made me reliase he must of latched an attached.

i did an aura sweep on him as like i said I assumed he had an attached spirit, he started shaking and shivering strangely, anyway since then hes not come out with anything proof wise no information as such, just weird things like "Whats ham", (this is what the voice is saying) etc. other stuff he comes out with, is like i said, things that he and i already know, but being told in his head in a girls voice.

Hes also changed, his whole persona, he not the same person, its like im living with a stranger, he cant remember things that hes done, ie set the alarm on the car, turned the oven off etc. he has to continously check things to make sure, Its like hes got memory lapses.

He also doesnt want to interact with people around him, hes more involved with whats going on inside his head.

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Me personally speaking, I have always been into the paranomal, and i know ghost and spirits exist. I am also spiritual, into crystal therapy in which i have been trying to help heal him.

I'm sorry. I mistook this for a serious conversation about medical issues.

a.m.

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Because we both work in the same place, I dont drive, he does. and the place we work is 25 miles away. Also I work unsociable hours so if i could go there by myself, i couldnt get back, as no trains run where i live after 10pm.

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hi,

from what you wrote - i dont think bf should be driving:

When this happened and he started hearing the voices, booming down on him, on his head, in his head, in the wind when were driving 100mph down the motorway
.

but then again, im no expert in the levels of delusions or hallucinations.

it seems that you have a lot to contemplate. and I wish for you much peace.

db

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Sonnie, that is some problem you have.

On one hand he may just be flaming psychotic- on the other hand he may be be psychic or he may be BOTH.

Here's what I suggest:

Since no one can actually prove or disprove the existence of the ghosts etc, why not for he sake of argument agree that he MAY be psychic.

That does not mean he can't be mentally ill TOO. Psychic boards will tell u this- if you are psychic, it should not interfere with your daily life, ie, you should be able to hold a job, and carry on a normal life, have friends, go to school, etc. if u cannot- u are probably mentally ill.

If he takes the meds, they get him on a good cocktail and he still is tuned in with spirits- well what he h*ll- maybe he is psychic.

I for one believe in them have a normal life otherwise.

However, I see no reason for anyone to quit their job, and mess up their entire life b/c of this. THAT IS the kind of stuff a manic or other wise psychotic person would do.

see if he will agree to this. Let him fool around with the psychic stuff( b/c you probably won't be able to stop him anyhow - and really what harm can he do? ) and get him to agree to hold a job and the big one-

to not discuss he psychic ability at work( so he does not scare others or make his employer think he is nuts)

seems to me if he can work and all , well, why should anyone have to sell their house. That sounds like the stuff manics' do.

I'd make sure he stayed with his doc an get him on so good meds / therapist ( like it sounds like you have done) but after that. well h*ll, if all he does is talk with a girl named Louise- it could be worse, he could be seeing Louise behind your back.

I recall the TV show called " Medium". she worked and had a house and raised kids and did normal stuff. seldom found her hanging out in graveyards.

Go to the psychic boards and read a bit. They sound just like the rest of normal people. They may have a gift, but they don't' behave in an abnormal manner.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I understand with what your saying, but the difference with patrica arquette in medium and my BF is that patricia arquette (alison dubois) was born with the gift, wheras with my BF happened within 2 weeks age 36 through taping voices of spirits in the graveyard, Ive been with him 11 years and in all that time up until this incident he was not hearing voices, only suffered depression.

Yes I suppose i could pretend and play along with his delusion of being psychic of the year, but how far into a delusion can he go?, can it get worse than this? can someone so far in a delusion come back and face reality)I mean as far as i can see, ive got his family telling him to further enchance his "gift" which is fine by me. i do actually want him to go to see a medium because a proper medium who does have the gift would tell him straight out what the score is.

Hes not taking the right dosage of his meds, because he gets on with his voices, and feels that he only needs now to take 150 mg effexor for his depression, and 5 mg of zyprexa which should be actually 10mg he should be taking, but he says he doesnt want to take the 10mg because it makes him zombiefied.

His therapist on the other hand is only interested in that he gets on with the voices. Shes not done anything else as far as i can see to help him, and thats when shes there, he has an appt once a week, and most times shes not there so its 2 weeks before he can get to see her.

His dr (who prescribes the meds) wants to try him on some other ones, but he doesnt want to do that, he wants to stay on the ones hes got.

So hes not taking the right dosage of his meds.

He wont try any other meds the dr insisted he should try.

He doesnt want to interact with people around him even me. hes to preoccupied with listening to whats going on in his head. So basically social interactive skills are non existent.

Hes been documenting some of the ongoing conversations to show his therapist.

His names Brad by the way ive bolded it.

3:30am Watching Documentary about space.

Louise

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Sonnie

Have you talked with his doc and/or therapist yourself? I know you are not his keeper, but 11 yrs a a long time invested in a relationship.

so what you are saying is like john travolita ( in the movie) who was hit by lightening and developed psychic powers, this has happened to your guy? i know he was not hit by lightening, but it happened suddenly, right?

Has anyone done an MRI on him or a Cat scan? I guess the possibility of a brain tumor cannot be dismissed. Has he seen a proper doctor, ie, maybe a neurologist or at least a General doc? You know some mental symptoms can be due to physical things.(brain tumor epilepsy, etc)

It really sounds like he needs a good exam by good doc before he sees a medium.

If he can't hold down a job and lead a normal type life, then he's most likely not psychic but mentally ill. Persons who really are psychic generally can function in their life otherwise, which does not sound like what he is doing.

sometimes MI people come on psychic boards and they will tell them to take the medicines the doc ordered and if the voices go away, well they are not psychic.

I'm sorry you are going through all this, and sounds like his family is not too stable either. Surely they would expect him to seek medical help first. Unless of course being psychic "runs in the family".

Most of the time it is MI. really it is. Yes i do believe psychics exist, but they don't act crazy.

however if you spoke with Sylvia Browne she might say Louise is his spirit guide. You have lived with him for 11 yrs. what do you think? I think there is a very good chance he's MI.

I read your entire post and he may have just suffered from depression fr 11 years but looks like it has rolled over into a psychosis. I didn't notice, did he have any head injury?

I know you can't make him do anything, he's an adult. but is his doc should know the intensity of the voices /social isolation and his therapist does not sound like she is doing much. I guess you may have to decide if you can tolerate this life style. If it were me I'd be kicking and screaming for him to see a better doc. but he is an adult. So are you. I guess you will have to decide what you can live with. Have you spoken with an therapist yourself , for yourself?

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Well to be honest, depression and disorders run in his family, from his dads side and his mums. both his sisters suffer from depression one of which (his youngest) has tried taking overdoses.

The only thing with regards to an injury was going back to when he was about 9 or 10 someone hit him on the head with a hammer. apart from that hes not mentioned anything with regards to anything else. Now if that was the cause of this surely from the age of 10 to now he would of shown some kind of symptoms in that time, apart from the depression.

But i have to admit though, i do believe in "cause and effect". through circumstances not necessarily through what he has done, its what other people have done, that can reflect to a certain degree on him. stress can be another factor, but since ive been with him he has nothing to stress about, because whatever situation arises, has to get past me first, and believe me when i say i deal with everything.

When i first got to know him, hes never really had a job, I have always worked, so basically i was his backbone and gave him a kick up his backside and said get a job, so now we both work together, we work on computers. So looking back to what he had in his past to now, you can see what hes achieved, which is a major achievement, in my eyes.

As far as MRI scans are concerned i asked his therapist about this, actually i asked her about "transcranial magnetic therapy" but she says with it being the national health service, they wont pay for the scans as they are expensive, and thats why therapy is done. She says she had heard of transcranial magnetic therapy but yet again, its all to do with money, because you need to have MRI scans done (parts of the brain light up when you hear the voices) so that they know which areas of the brain to target.

Its sad situation which unfortunately i cant fix, usually i can come up with a solution to a problem but this is beyond me, and to get the right help for him here is unbelievable, on top of that ive got no backup from his family, his therapist, well i have no idea whats going on there at all, its obviously been established 8 months ago he gets on with his voices, so I dont know what shes doing now.

My gut feeling is saying walk away. But ive got too much to lose so I dont know.

Sonnie

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Guest Guest_lathern_*

Well to be honest, depression and disorders run in his family, from his dads side and his mums. both his sisters suffer from depression one of which (his youngest) has tried taking overdoses.

The only thing with regards to an injury was going back to when he was about 9 or 10 someone hit him on the head with a hammer. apart from that hes not mentioned anything with regards to anything else. Now if that was the cause of this surely from the age of 10 to now he would of shown some kind of symptoms in that time, apart from the depression.

But i have to admit though, i do believe in "cause and effect". through circumstances not necessarily through what he has done, its what other people have done, that can reflect to a certain degree on him. stress can be another factor, but since ive been with him he has nothing to stress about, because whatever situation arises, has to get past me first, and believe me when i say i deal with everything.

When i first got to know him, hes never really had a job, I have always worked, so basically i was his backbone and gave him a kick up his backside and said get a job, so now we both work together, we work on computers. So looking back to what he had in his past to now, you can see what hes achieved, which is a major achievement, in my eyes.

As far as MRI scans are concerned i asked his therapist about this, actually i asked her about "transcranial magnetic therapy" but she says with it being the national health service, they wont pay for the scans as they are expensive, and thats why therapy is done. She says she had heard of transcranial magnetic therapy but yet again, its all to do with money, because you need to have MRI scans done (parts of the brain light up when you hear the voices) so that they know which areas of the brain to target.

Its sad situation which unfortunately i cant fix, usually i can come up with a solution to a problem but this is beyond me, and to get the right help for him here is unbelievable, on top of that ive got no backup from his family, his therapist, well i have no idea whats going on there at all, its obviously been established 8 months ago he gets on with his voices, so I dont know what shes doing now.

My gut feeling is saying walk away. But ive got too much to lose so I dont know.

Sonnie

This is offered with the intent to be helpful but true.First. Sonne expresses herself unusually well and should think of writing professionally. Second, the expression of belief in the supernatural,e.g., ghosts, alien abduction, etc, will bar you from being accepted by intelligent people as a normal person. You will be looked upon as odd, strange, even crazy. People not mentally ill will feel uncomfortable around you. The only exception will be if the delusions take the form of religion. Even then most educated people will wish you to be quiet about it. Try not to talk about it.

don

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Sonnie can talk abut it here. this site is for crazy folk and most subjects are allowed.

you are very correct- if your belief is a part of a religious belief system then it's not considered a delusion or psychosis. ( eg, believing the virgin Mary was impregnated by God). If however you believe you are having sex with spirit being- that would be generally seen as part of a psychosis.

Many religions believe in demons and all that. Some folks just go plain crazy worrying about it. I've seen exorcisms performed in mental hospitals b/c of this belief. most educated people dismiss the idea of demons.The same can be said about angels, many religious or spiritual people believe they exist and help them in their lives.

I saw something on TV a while back that said that 70% of Americans believe in angels and ghosts etc. So that is a lot of people who do believe but are afraid to say so b/c of the stigma attached to it.

The problem Sonnie appears to have is that even if her bf is psychic he also sounds MI.

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How about reasoning with him this way:

If he does have spiritual gifts, then what you do the physical material body won't affect that, ergo he could take the meds and if the spiritualism is genuine, he will be able to still hear the voices even on the meds. You could call his bluff and say that you will help him follow his dream on the condition that he will follow doctors orders and take the meds for as long as he is ordered to.

If he won't respond, then you have to walk, for your sanity and his. If even colludes and keeps his life running for him, it will just make it easier for him to carry on. When I get psychotic, I need my honey and my family to tell me that I need medical help and make sure I get it. If he is unable to function, he may need hospitalizing.

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This is offered with the intent to be helpful but true.First. Sonne expresses herself unusually well and should think of writing professionally. Second, the expression of belief in the supernatural,e.g., ghosts, alien abduction, etc, will bar you from being accepted by intelligent people as a normal person. You will be looked upon as odd, strange, even crazy. People not mentally ill will feel uncomfortable around you. The only exception will be if the delusions take the form of religion. Even then most educated people will wish you to be quiet about it. Try not to talk about it.

I am a very expressional person, actually to the degree of being too descriptive sometimes, but thats the way I am.

But at the end of the day Im here for advice with regards to my BF as you can see, this is a genuine call for advice.

I not a writer im just a normal working person, and loves life, but unfortuantely things happen in life to the degree wheras even I cant come to a solution to this problem I have, and thats why I have written here to see if anyone can give me some kind of insight with respect to this situation.

With respect to being normal show me what is Normal, define normality, no one can really can they????

People who do know me, know that I have an open mind and whether i talk about spirits/paranormal/ doesnt make them dislike me or make them think anything less of me, they like who I am.

Its widely accepted here in the UK, theres no taboo of that subject, I do know that in USA there are certain parts that will not entertain such topical discussion, And I completely understand. But like I say this is about my BF and not about me, I am the one who is writing for the advice not him, and therefore I should not be the one under scrutiny.

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How about reasoning with him this way:

If he does have spiritual gifts, then what you do the physical material body won't affect that, ergo he could take the meds and if the spiritualism is genuine, he will be able to still hear the voices even on the meds. You could call his bluff and say that you will help him follow his dream on the condition that he will follow doctors orders and take the meds for as long as he is ordered to.

If he won't respond, then you have to walk, for your sanity and his. If even colludes and keeps his life running for him, it will just make it easier for him to carry on. When I get psychotic, I need my honey and my family to tell me that I need medical help and make sure I get it. If he is unable to function, he may need hospitalizing.

He doesnt listen to me, he only listens to what he wants to hear, and most times its whats going on in his head.

I wasnt with my Bf for his looks, I go well beyond that, and his whole being is just not him (if you understand what im saying) the essence of the person i was with originally has gone. and its like im living with a stranger.

As far as the meds are concerned i cant force him to take them. Hes not taking the right dosage now.

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I recall when my teenagers where acting out. Everyone said 'make" them do this or that. teenagers are difficult at best and it is hard to make them do anything. We are now speaking about an adult- trying to "make " him do something. If he is beyond understanding how this is impacting your life together or /his your ability to function, you may need to get some outside assistance to make a decision for yourself.

This is a difficult situation and you have a lot invested in this relationship. I hope you are talking to someone yourself to help you clarify all this so you can make decisions. You do have to go on with life , bills have to be paid.

You are correct, spiritualism is not very well received in the states but is more so in the UK.

best to you.

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  • 3 weeks later...

My youngest brother started seeing things years ago, I think he was around 10? He is now 15 and I think only recently the visions have subsided. Until now he always slept with a night light, flashlight, door open, etc. My mom wouldn't take him to see a Pdoc because her mother was schizophrenic, my mom and her sister were bounced around Finland living with various relatives while their mom was getting "help" and a few years ago my grandmother couldn't take it anymore and threw herself off her balcony at the assisted living place. She's too afraid of that returning to her life, you know? I have a friend who is a counselor at some South Florida schools and she comes across some kids who are iffy cases but she first recommends that they see a spiritual guide. Almost every time there is a positive outcome.

Maybe check the credentials of this paranormal deal. Who knows, maybe they dropped acid into his water ;) stranger things have happened

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  • 2 months later...
Guest steven Mai

Hello everybody i have a problem regarding my boyfriend and would appreciate some advice.

ive been with him for over 11 years now, and in all that time since ive known him he had mild depression only occured every so often not all the time, he described it as lost and lonely feeling, in a hole and cant get out etc, obviously i cant relate as i dont suffer depression, i never had.

Anyway about just over a year ago, he decided to do EVP in the graveyard, (electronic voice phenomena), taping voices of spirits. (he wanted proof) and he ended up getting more than the proof he wanted.

He started hearing the voices without the equiptment. outside and internally in his head

It was pretty bad.

Insisted he was hearing spirits and demons.

He ended seeing his doctor and being put on meds, zyprexa and effexor.

External voices stopped. but was still left with the internal one's but he still says he hears external ones if he listens hard enough.

He thinks he is now psychic.

Jump ahead to now

Hes currently seeing a therapist, took 6 months here in UK to get one, hes now getting along with the voices, the main one hes hearing is a girl called louise.

Obviously as his partner ive been through all of this with him (as an observer, which is so frustrating, as there was nothing i could do, to help him). what hes saying the "spirits" are telling him is what he already knows, they cant tell him anything other than that.

I personally know its not what he thinks it is.

Anyway the problem i have now is hes having full blown conversations with his mind, he thinks hes bloody psychic of the year, to a degree now that he wants to sell our house (its a joint mortgage, mine and his) not work, claim social, and take his so called "gift" further.

Ive told his mother and family and there encouraging him to go seek a spiritualist church and learn how to use it.

So now, im in a situation where im battling his mind, and his family, Im basically trying to win a losing battle, and im at arms length away from walking away from all of it.

Ive got a lot to lose, my home, my job and 11 years of my life with the person i wanted to be with.

What would you do ????

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