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Now I understand

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I never used to understand why people would cut until I realized that I do something very similar.

When I'm depressed, I tend to run. I'm not talking a simple jog in the park either. I will run until I feel I can't run anymore, and then I'll more or less channel my anger and run harder.

I'll run until I vomit then I'll wipe my mouth and run some more. If I get a cramp, I'll run through it. If I get a blister, I'll ignore it. One time I actually got and broke a blister while running, and when I took my shoes off later, my socks were bloody. I once ran so hard that I started hallucinating, and then I kept running. The more I abuse my body, the better I feel. When I get done, I feel much calmer.

So, I guess I can understand why people cut. It really is a release.

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It is really hard to understand why people cut. I have tried to explain why I do...and maybe I don't do it very well. I cut when I feel I can't express my sadness and/or rage in any other way but making a escape route through my skin. There are also control issues involved as well, which I actaully realized when I read your post.

Take care of yourself


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