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hypomanic again


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today i'm pretty agitated. I have hypomanias somewhat often and they're only euphoric in the beginning, if at all, and then they turn to mean, angry, anxious, scared feelings. I know my telltale signs, my patterns of behaviour that occur before they come on. But pretty much every time, I don't recognize that they happened until I'm right in the midst of an episode. I feel like, if I was paying more attention, I wouldn't have to suffer so often. But i feel like, in order to pay attention, i have to act like everything i do and think is a possible 'symptom,' and how the hell am I going to feel normal when I have to constantly think about myself as a 'sick person?' I want a life outside my illness.

thoughts/opinions/suggestions/empathy?

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I don't have any advice except to relate. I am currently in the throes of hypomania myself. Luckily it's euphoric but I'm soooo scared of the crash. This is the worst episode of hypomania I have EVER had and I'm terrified that I'm going to crash and burn eventually. How long do your episodes of hypomania usually last?

I generally get agitated and irritable when I'm really depressed and in the black hole. ;)

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