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Guest Elizabeth

Heya, I just discovered this board today.

I've just gone through setting myself up with the county mental health group, because I have a lifelong issue with various NOS disorders (seriously. Mood Disorder NOS, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety NOS, so forth and so on) and I don't want to lose my partner over the same stupid shite I always lose them over.

Anyway, the psychiatrist I spoke to was an absolute gem and asked me more questions in the first five minutes than any shrink has ever asked me (I've seen about a dozen in my 24 years, and they all pretty much look at the medical history and prescribe without actually talking to me), but she only does urgent care. Sad for that, as I'd like to continue seeing her, and she expressed that same desire.

So, after going over the fact that I've quite literally been on EVERYTHING and had awful reactions, I told her that I'd like to just start from square one and see what happens. When you have such a lengthy history without much consistency, it seems like a logical step to me. Since I show traits of the autistic spectrum (nothing diagnosable, perhaps another NOS!) and have anger, paranoia and agitation issues, she decided we should try risperdal and zoloft, at their lowest dosages, along with .5 of klonopin as needed.

I can't remember what happened with my past experience on risperdal, but APs are always scary to me. Tuesday night was the first night I took it, and I had an awful time. I kept having full body jolts awake because I felt like I forgot to breathe! I had to consciously remember to breathe and it took jolting my whole body to jumpstart my lungs (this is how it felt).

Last night was fine, thank goodness. I'm just curious if anyone else had this problem. I feel really "up" today and did a lot of brainstorming on a store I want to open in the future. I can't tell if this is hypomania, or just a surge in energy I'm unused to having. Would it be weird to feel hypomanic after only two days of such small dosages of risperdal and zoloft?

Also, I have Grave's Disease, which is untreated due to lack of finances (there are no free or low cost clincs in my area). Does anyone have any history with this and their mental health woes? It's very hard for me to tell what's what, as it were. I don't know if my paranoia is brain or body induced. It doesn't really make a huge difference, but I'm curious and want to know if getting my stupid thyroid zapped will ease my mental / personality instability. I've had MH issues since childhood, so I'm sure it won't fix EVERYTHING, but I really wonder if it would make a huge dent after all. I'm on the fence about radioactive iodine, as it seems like such a bad idea... but if it would actually stabilize my moods, I might just do it when I get insurance or a few grand to spare. Thoughts?

Sorry for the long post. I'm a bit pedantic typically, and it gets a bit more pronounced when I'm starting antipsychotics for some reason!

E

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  • 2 months later...

I have been on virtually every antidepressant, psychatropic, benzie, and sleeping pill without much success. Various combinations and various doses and various cocktails over more than 20 years. I had a hard time finding a pdoc who was not afraid to challenge themselves and their abilities to help me, until I got to #4. By now, without a pdoc for 6+ months, you can how imagine how whacked I am at this point... Anyway... I don't know that I help other than to let you know that you are not alone. Hearing those simple words from a peer does wonders for me...

-Kim

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