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I keep praying "God, please help me or Kill me", with all sincerity and regularly.

I was 302'd recently on a suicide attempt (going to railroad tracks) and sent to the lousy hospitals even lousier psych ward. Stayed three days.

The new pdoc put me on Lamictal (I'm bipolar with severe bipolar depression), which is doint nothing so far, after six weeks.

They added Wellbutrin last week stating it takes "several weeks" to work. Yeah, well I might not have several weeks. If I attempt again I WILL NOT MISS.

I'm alone so often doing it at home would work out fine, no one would even find the body for days.

Please give me some advice.

~ Denise

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I dont know if I have any advice. What's more I'm not sure I know what youre asking for. Advice on how to kill yourself?

Have you explored with your pdoc the possibility of med resistance? Lamictal made a big difference as far as my mood swings but I still found myself suicidal on it.

From talking to you, it seems that you have so much situational stuff going on. Our you in any type of therapy? What other types of support do you have?

Its always alarming to talk to people who are suicidal. More than anything, of course you never want to see anyone take their life. I know exactly how you feel. As far as being suicidal and preying for death.

Keep reaching out here.

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new pdoc ...

They added ...

Please give me some advice.

So you've started with a new pdoc? And then it changed to they... Is it a clinic with rotating doctors? I'm just trying to find out if you are jiving with the people you're working with. It could be worth it to try another place. I know that seems hopeless and useless right now, but really try to keep in mind it's your mind malfunctioning. Those chemicals aren't doing their job, and you're suffering hellishly as a result of it.

Try this...call them ASAP and tell them the crap they've got you on isn't doing anything, and might be making you worse. If you don't feel you're getting heard at that place, definitely go elsewhere, because it's sounding like a matter of life and death, and that is pretty funkin serious.

If you are really at the end, use the suicide rite...do whatever you need to keep yourself alive. Drink. Smoke a bit. Have a big giant ice cream. Call and yell at your family. Why not, if it is going to get you to tomorrow. It's your right to stay alive. Use it.

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When I was depressed, I would always wish that something would cause me to die. It really, really sucks.

I agree with Alex. This is a big deal, and you need to get it taken care of ASAP.

I'm sure there is a part of you that wants to stay alive. Hang on to that until you can get help. This is an emergency. You need to get it taken care of. The thoughts will go away. You just need to find effective treatment.

It was a while before Lamictal helped stabilize my mood. I don't know if this is great advice, but have you tried Abilify? That straightened my ass out pretty quickly. It pairs with well with Lamictal, at least for me.

Have you tried another formation of lithium? That sometimes helps some people.

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I hope that it helps to come here and talk about it. Can you come back today and tell us how you're doing?

It would be great if Wellbutrin would help you. Please post again.

olga

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I don't want to sound rude or disrespectful, but if you are thinking about killing yourself please stay away from the railway tracks. I work for a railway in an office near the rehabilitation unit, and the number of train drivers that come in suffering severe trauma as a result of hitting people is too many.

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I have been feeling suicidal on and off for about , well , a while. Don't know. I finally called my pdoc and she finally called me back and by then I was feeliing much better. If you read any of my posts you will see this is a recurring theme in my life. It always gets better. It's hard to see that but maybe just doing somethign to distract yourself. Dont' stay in bed all day even though that might be what you want to do. That makes it sooo much worse. You have too much time to think about yourself and your life. Obviously, your meds. are not working and there are a buttload more that might work alone or more likely, in combination. You can pm me. I have been there very recently. Hang on. Melissa

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