nothing

[Misguided_Angel]

:S

[AirMarshall]

HI Misguided!

Well, that is something of a revelation! 

Actually, this is very good news. Your therapist has put up red flags around the suicide issue.  You now know exactly where her minefield is.  If you are still comfortable with her you can continue therapy.  Just know that if you find yourself drifting towards that abyss, that you may not be able to count on her unqualified and unbiased support. 

If you really want to stir the pot, you might ask her to elaborate on the choice theory and how she identifies the choice-tree that people create and corrects it.

Is suicide selfish?  Yes. I've noted many people on the board mention that they didn't off themselves out of concern for friends and relatives. Still, everyone has their breaking point. And NOT of their own making. ....The straw that broke the camels' back.

A.M.

[soulshards]

not an unbiased thing for her to say, no.  I guess she let you know her opinions on the subject huh!

I wonder if she's ever been "there", that ring of hell where you lay there trying to weigh (your agonizing torture that you go thru every day) against the repercussions it will bring against those you love?  it doesnt sound like she has IMO.

trying to be ultimately unselfish is the only reason I am here.  is it a good reason to live?  ...

[Bloodberry]

TO start with, I have no idea wether this could posiblty trigger someone who is feeling suicidal so..

[spudnut]

trying to be ultimately unselfish is the only reason I am here.

[olga]

I wouldn't waste any more mental energy on this dippy "therapist."  She obviously doesn't have your best interests at heart---and as Bloodberry said, this treatment isn't about her; it's about you.

I would be searching for a new therapist.  I never go to any doctor who makes me feel like an idiot.  They do it once--I'm gone.

You deserve better.

olga

[Thomas]

Sometimes folks, even professionals, get  the wacky idea that they can stop you from comitting suicide just by telling you it will make you a bad person.  They somehow seem to miss the point that you can't envision feeling worse about yourself after death than you do RIGHT NOW! 

And, by the way, is it selfish BECAUSE I'm not taking someone else along?  Of course it is hard on those who remain after someone kills themself, but that isn't really what you think about.  My understanding that is suicide is a last resort; we try it when it doesn't look like there is any other answer.. we just want it to stop (even if just for a little while).

Tommy

"Don't kill yourself, it's a sin!" 

"So, you're saying that Hell is worse than the HELL I'm already in?"

[Alice]

I would leave her. Of course you should not attempt suicide. Of course you should not self injure (this is one of my problems, by the way).

But I believe an important part of therapy is the validation of your feelings. Once you can accept your feelings, you can work on fixing them.

Insulting you is very, very unhelpful.

Good luck,

Elaine

[soulshards]

Of course it is hard on those who remain after someone kills themself, but that isn't really what you think about.

it is for me, the only thing keeping me afloat right now.  but it doesn't apply to everyone,  as misguided-angel mentioned.  Such a black and white thing for the therapist to say, I'm tempted to say she hasn't been in the business long enough, or she has a brick wall around her brain.

[Velvet Elvis]

Yup.  It's totaly selfish and the worst thing you can do to your family unless your Japanese and have disgraced your family.  Then it's noble and honerable and a good thing to do for your family. 

Your therp sucks, not you.

[soulshards]

" Then it's noble and honerable and a good thing to do for your family. "

this is true in India and Pakistan as well, espescially if your family is poor and you are female.

[Guest soulshards not logged]

I think your statement to her sounds good!  except

" My understading when I started therapy, was that counsellors were trained to be unjudgemental and empathetic to problems that mentally ill people face. Including suicidal ideation. I would need to be able to count on that in crisis and in order to get any good out of therapy."

I personally would cut this part and keep it short/sweet unless she wants to discuss it in more detail.

I dont feel comfortable talking with you about suicide, and I dont appreciate being judged for being sick.  crystal clear!  and kudos to you for taking this step.

[JBella]

Angel,

Your therapist is obviously a fucking dingbat with a tophat on.  I can see how her flip "I never said that" reply to your concern that has been bothering you all week would throw you into total confusion.

Please don't hurt yourself.  She's an idiot.  What's this crap about yor defense mechanisms being way up?  Maybe she doesn't know how to approach a confused and disorientated patient.  Time to lose the moronic tdoc.

Go eat some ice cream.  Have your friend come over.  Imagine the doc with horns and a tail and funny hat on.

JBella

[olga]

Angel:

Please let us know what happens today.

JBella is right:  a therapist shouldn't walk out on a frightened, confused patient.  And if you are being "defensive," why doesn't she have the skills to reach you through those defenses?

I hope you can get a competent doctor.  Be sure to post when you get home today.

olga

[Blondini]

Hi Angel

Holy crap.  Aren't tdocs supposed to get analyzed themselves before they're cleared and allowed to practice?  I might be wrong.  Anyway yours is a lemon, definitely rolled off the assembly line late on a Friday afternoon right before a holiday weekend.  Since when does it make sense to walk out on someone in obvious psychological pain when helping the patient deal with that pain is what you're there for? 

Ditch Madame Moron.  BTW, the ice cream idea sounds like a good one, at least as a once-in-a-great-while thing. 

Take care,

Blondini

[kalessin]

Wow, that sounds like malpractice to me.

[lilie]

Your therapist sucks. Part of a therapists jub is to be able to properly assess a situation and provide a helpful productive response. That woman is in no way helpful. I'd say tell her off and move on.

Lilie

[Panz]

I have a lot of guilt over attempting suicide the times that I have. It's put my sweetheart and best friend in the entire world through a lot of hell. I feel that in a lot of ways suicide is self-indulgence taken to its most negative extreme.  That doesn't help when I'm desperately wanting to end the torment and agony, but in a lot of ways I believe it.

[soulshards]

angel  *raises her hand aye to vote for never seeing this woman again*

I haven't been to therapy yet, tomorrow is my first day *um...yay?*  so can't offer any suggestions for finding someone new.  hang in there, keep posting here, chat online if you can.

I'll be reading your posts!

[Bloodberry]

Sometimes, even when we speak up for ourselves, we can still use a little help for someone to speak for us. 

http://www.geocities.com/sixalmostseven/advocacy.html

If you need to talk to someone right away because you're afraid you'll hurt yourself:

Dial 1-800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)..

Dial 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)..

Regional (Local) Suicide Hotlines..

[Stessyfrank]

Just to weigh in on the original topic.  I wouldn't kill myself because of my family (and my family is big enough that they will never all be gone).  But sometimes I feel that it is selfish for them to want me to stay when it hurts so much.  I mean I know they would understand if I ended it early because I was in unrelenting pain from cancer or something.  Of course in that case there would be a sell by date anyway.  Not that they try to guilt me, but it seems unfair sometimes to say that the one that leaves is the selfish one. 

Which sentiment I would express to the therapist and then look for new one.

[Ruby]

Angel,

First of all, you're definitely getting the shaft from the medical "professionals" you've had to deal with. My condolences.

Second of all, isn't there some medical association to report this so called therapist to? You can't be the first person she has ranted to. IMO, a quality therapist should be mostly neutral, not express personal opinions to their patients, and ask questions that encourage beneficial dialogue.

As far as selfishness and suicide, I believe there are at least two different types of people who attempt suicide. I have a friend who has attempted suicide three times. Because I know this person so well, I really believe they were ploys for attention, mostly from his mother. The last time was truly an accidental overdose. He is capable of working, yet is on disability. If he really wanted to kill himself, he would have used a method more reliable than pills. He completely sponges off his mother, who should have retired by now, but has to work because of him. They have a vicious cycle going. She gets to the point where she finally comes to her senses and tells him to get a job and move out. Then he always does something to deflect her decision, and the suicide attempts are the most drastic.

Then there are people who are truly in pain. They can't make the pain go away and have to end it. Maybe it appears selfish to others.

I've been there. It's such a horrible place to be. Angel, without my kid and husband, I may have done it. They are my reason to live. You mentioned your kids. I think of my daughter growing up without me. Going through her teens without her mother. That's always more depressing than anything to me and it keeps me going forward.

Maybe you could tell us what city you live in, and someone on this board could recommend a good doc for you.

Hang in there, it will get better.

[NYPaintLady]

As for irritating tdoc, i have an appt on the 31st with her and am NOT looking forward to it. I am so anxious about switching though but I think I have to because I dont think her approach is doing me any good and I think if I start fresh maybe I won't feel so judged and it will make it easier to just spit stuff out.

Hopefully.

I'll post again after I actually "do something" about this instead of rant lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm so glad you are feeling better.  Perhaps just knowing your pdoc is back and 'on your side' has helped your mood. B) 

As for the tdoc, it is very likely that your anxiety over the appt. comes from NOT wanting to see her yet feeling that you have to let her know why you are going to switch tdocs.  I would just call, cancel the appt. and let her know that you won't be employing her theraputic services and be done with her.  It is of NO help to you if you proceed with the appt. and from the results of the past couple times you've seen her, I'd say that contact with her has been detrimental to your mental health.  Start looking for a new tdoc now and don't give irritating tdoc a second thought.  Best of luck to you....

[ConfusedCat]

If you like and trust your pdoc, ask for a solid reference or two from him/her.

I always ask, If one of your immediate family members needed a great tdoc, who would you suggest they use? Usually the first person they think of in that case, tho they may give you more names too.

I ask this question of all my Doc's when I need a reference for any other Doc. It takes away the business persepctive and puts in a personal preference.

I agree you don't even need to go to the appt to fire your Doc, unless you want that personal closure?

CC~

[NYPaintLady]

Tdoc cancelled because she isnt feeling well so that solves that for me. SHe is supposed to call and set up another appt. but Im just not gonna answer, love call display!

I have been accepted onto the waiting list at Homewood Health Center in Guelph! And .. it will cost half of what I thought it would ... so I am patiently awaiting a call from them instead. At least Ive heard good things about them. Maybe they will be able to reccomend someone as well for when Im done thier program.

Thanks for your support guys. I needed it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Isn't it great how it worked out for you?  You don't ever have to see her again and

you don't have to worry about how to break off the relationship!  I just hope she doesn't call back repeated times.... and then worry that you did something to yourself.... and come to your home or send the police to your home to check on you.... oh, boy....

What is the Homewood Health Center?  (sorry if this is a dumb question.... )