I'm in bad shape tonight

[Rabbit37]

Frustration mounted over something tonight, just too big for me to handle. Cutting's been on my mind lately, but I hadn't been triggered completely until tonight. And then it wasn't even a decision, it's like I zoned out, and when I came to, well, there it is. I want to call my tdoc. But... for why? I have an appt on Wednesday already... what is he going to say that will make a diofference? And what if he doesn't have an appt tomorrow? And I've got an older daughter who's keeping check on me, I cant have a private conversation anyway, without much awkwardness. this just feels really fucked up, the regrets didn't take long to appear. I took klono to help me relax, my chest hurts I'm so anxious and furious and frustrated. tryign hard not to do anything to scarethe kids, like scream. And it's all ovwer stupid stuff. This is just shit,.

Needed to vent. Not expecting any answers.

[CirclesOfConfusion]

Hey Rab, if you need to vent more you know where to find me.

[Rabbit37]

Thank you, Circles. xo

I feel a little calmer this morning, kinda like shit, I can't believe I did it again. I imagine tdoc will call today, at least just to speak to me. Doubt I can get in on such short notice. I have an appt tomorrow. I just need to be careful today.

[lysergia]

Thank you, Circles. xo

I feel a little calmer this morning, kinda like shit, I can't believe I did it again. I imagine tdoc will call today, at least just to speak to me. Doubt I can get in on such short notice. I have an appt tomorrow. I just need to be careful today.

i'm sorry it was such a rough night, rabbit. please do be careful.

i know it feels bad enough when you remember doing it, but then when you just zone out it is for some reason scarier.

i'm glad you're calmer and this is a new day.