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how do keep yourself from really crashing?


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hey...i'm having a hard time right now and feeling a little low,disinterested, scattered, and blah. my main support is my wife, and she is dealing with a lot right now and isn't available. i am not complaining about where she is at, i know she shouldn't be my only support and she is working really hard right now on herself. i know i need to work on freindships but i am so not good at that. i am also really bad at asking for support and being honest with myself about where i'm at and what i need. i just want to be happy and strong. i am afraid of being needy. but right now i feel really sad and there is a lot of changes about to happen in my life like moving and taking more classes this fall, probably a job change too. i am trying to let go of all the anticipation because i really want to be in the present and enjoy the stability that i have for the next month before everything changes. i really hate feeling sad cause i feel like it will become too big and swallow me. then i end up in crisis and i don't want to be there.

so i am just curious as to what people do when they feel afraid of crashing emotionally. is it possible to just be sad and not end up suicidal?

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Do you have a therapist? Sounds like a perfect situation for one. As for your question....

is it possible to just be sad and not end up suicidal?

If you don't already have a history of depression...sure. If you DO, you are flirting with disaster.

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I agree with Wifezilla that therapy is valuable. Also, are you on any meds? Is it possible that your antidepressant needs to adjusted? If you're not on any meds, is there a reason?

With therapy and the right drugs, I think then it would be time to address the issues about having friends and reaching out to them when you feel a dip in your mood.

I would also examine the other parts of your life. Are you eating a well-balance diet? Are you skipping meals? Are you exercising at all? This is the time of year in your part of the country to be out walking, swimming, biking---whatever. Get some sun and fresh air, and enough aerobic exercise to make your heart thump for 40 minutes.

And come talk to us here.

olga

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It's hard when you're feeling bad to have to find a way to be stronger than the downward pull. Therapy's a great idea. Especially cognitive behavioral therapy. Also look into local support groups and group therapy. Group therapy can be tremendously helpful (socially as well as psychologically) and is less expensive than individual therapy.

There are many online sites that have free programs that can help you challenge and change the way you think and perceive the world.

moodgym

psychology help

living life to the full

A good workbook is Mind Over Mood.

You need to do the things you know will help keep the sadness away. Get outside. Take a walk. Listen to happy music. Eat right. Plant some flowers.

You say you're going to be moving. Get a head start on organizing things, getting rid of unnecessary clutter, cleaning, packing the things you know you won't need between now and moving day.

You probably don't feel like doing any of this stuff, but that's the bind we're in. We have to work the hardest when we're least motivated to.

And, of course, Crazyboards is here with lots of information, support and understanding.

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hey...i'm having a hard time right now and feeling a little low,disinterested, scattered, and blah. my main support is my wife, and she is dealing with a lot right now and isn't available. i am not complaining about where she is at, i know she shouldn't be my only support and she is working really hard right now on herself. i know i need to work on freindships but i am so not good at that. i am also really bad at asking for support and being honest with myself about where i'm at and what i need. i just want to be happy and strong. i am afraid of being needy. but right now i feel really sad and there is a lot of changes about to happen in my life like moving and taking more classes this fall, probably a job change too. i am trying to let go of all the anticipation because i really want to be in the present and enjoy the stability that i have for the next month before everything changes. i really hate feeling sad cause i feel like it will become too big and swallow me. then i end up in crisis and i don't want to be there.

so i am just curious as to what people do when they feel afraid of crashing emotionally. is it possible to just be sad and not end up suicidal?

so it's basically impossible for me to give advice bacause i feel like i'm the captian of th boat you are in

but as it's been said a thousandmilliongajillion times on this board. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

i push people, everyone away. my only support is my BF (who i live with) whom i think i'm successfully pushing away. because, of course, i'm trying so hard, too hard, to suck more support, no no, attention not support, from him

and he too is working on himself, his job, his music... important healthy things. while i'm failing at trying to inprove on myself. but really all i am doing is obsessing and drowning in the things in my head

anyway. i understand. and you are in the right place.. keep reading., keep posting.

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it sounds like you're afraid of being sad right now jett, so its more the anxiety than depression that you need help with. i don't think you should be so afraid to face what might disrupt you emotionally, but i understand why you would want to hold on to that stability. maybe just writing out all your worries, or having somebody to talk them over with would help. i think you'll need to deal with your worries about the upcoming changes at some point, and it might give you some relief to do that now. even it makes you feel overwhelmed emotionally, you'll have stopped worrying about it a little less right? ;) good luck with whatever's in your future, and i hope you can find the right person to talk it over with.

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thanks for your replies. i am glad i am not alone, but it sucks that others deal with this too.

i've been the medication route, but always ended up overmedicated with bad side effects. it might still be an option if i really crash, but i really want to aviod it. i'm super sensitive to meds. i am in therapy, but it's kinda f-ed up cause i panic and can't talk, don't know what to say, or have trouble being honest about where i'm at in fear of being committed or freaking her out. she has always said she wouldn't lock me up, but then there is this other side that i see where she really agrees with hospitals. to me, being in a hospital is way more dangerous than feeling really f-ed up...it just adds to my state and keeps me from dealing with the reasons i'd be there in the first place.

i could definetly use more exersize, but my diet is really good, and i have managed to keep my sleep ok too. i just feel really sad and powerless, and really overwhelmed with no where to go.

i put up a good front, and i am always there to help others when they are upset, i just can't ask for the same thing. i get so freaked out when someone shows care and interest becasue i feel like they are going to take something from me. when i am giving, the boundries are so clear, but when i need support i feel so open and vulnerable that i just can't handle it. so it keeps me from reaching out. this makes me want to be a hermit...but i really do like people. i'm going to go cry now.

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Jett, just remember: your therapist can't force you to go to the hospital, or do an involuntary commit unless you are really, reeeeeeealy a danger. she isn't going to admit you unless you're in extreme circumstances (and i do mean extreme)...you may as well be honest, because you are NOT going to get the full benefit from therapy unless you are.

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it's not that i lie in therapy. i have actually been more honest with her than i have with other therapists i have seen and i think she knows me pretty well. it's just the anxiety about being there scrambles my brain. i have this really deep need to make everyone think i'm ok, and when i am not it is really hard for me to talk about it. in the beginning i think i totally drove her nuts cause i would always say things were great before i could talk about anything. some of my experienses are really scarey and hard to explain without totally sounding nuts, and sometimes i am so detached like i am talking about someone else that i worry about how i am being judged. i also can't handle getting emotional. i worry about making people uncomfortable. i know that's totally crazy. i just always feel like such a freak when i get emotional and lose it or need to talk about certain stuff.

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i have this really deep need to make everyone think i'm ok

Jeff, your therapist knows this, right?

You can be sure that almost EVERYONE in the whole human race wants others to think they are 'ok'.

Here's a short phrase that might help you: "Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides."

Also - "Identify, don't compare." Look for similarities between yourself and other hoomins in life.

If your therapist knows about your history with meds, would asking her for a really low dose of something just to get you through this be helpful?

Moving and changing jobs is HUGE, and scary life change for a lot of folks!

Keep the faith.

{{{{hugs}}}}

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To return to the topic of "how to keep yourself from really crashing," Olga mentioned most of the big ones: take meds, eat right, exercise. Basically, minimize the CHANCE of depression, so that you don't have to deal with it as frequently.

It's a repackage of what I consider to be the biggest advice for any bad situation: just don't get into it to begin with.

Like, how do you avoid getting hurt in a fight or an accident? You avoid the fight or accident.

How do you avoid a heart attack? Follow the doc's advice, take pills, eat right, exercise -- hey! Same advice as for depression. Why? Because the point is reducing the chance of heart attack, since there's little you can do once it hits you, so you should be doing everything in your power to minimize its chance in advance.

I know that doesn't help much if you're not on the right meds, but then your main objective should be to keep on the search for the right medication.

So, it's best to follow Olga's advice ;) than mess about and end up in a depression, then having to climb your way out of a hole you may have been able to avoid in the 1st place (or perhaps fall only part-way in).

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How do you avoid a heart attack? Follow the doc's advice, take pills, eat right, exercise -- hey! Same advice as for depression. Why? Because the point is reducing the chance of heart attack, since there's little you can do once it hits you, so you should be doing everything in your power to minimize its chance in advance.
I like this...
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thank you all for your support.

i will make sure to get a good deal of exercize this weekend and i am trying to be gentle with myself right now. i am trying to keep myself busy and distracted too. i don't want to look into medications because they make me feel really toxic and that can lead to paranoia. i agree it's best to not be in this state, and to not let myself lose control, but i don't believe that medications fix everything.

i am just teetering right now and going through a lot of emotional stuff and trying to maintain. i think i take pretty good care of myself when i am doing well, and even now i am trying really hard to keep that up.

i can't even tell you how much it means that you all responded...i don't feel so isolated.

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  • 4 weeks later...

i have this really deep need to make everyone think i'm ok

Jeff, your therapist knows this, right?

You can be sure that almost EVERYONE in the whole human race wants others to think they are 'ok'.

Here's a short phrase that might help you: "Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides."

Also - "Identify, don't compare." Look for similarities between yourself and other hoomins in life.

If your therapist knows about your history with meds, would asking her for a really low dose of something just to get you through this be helpful?

Moving and changing jobs is HUGE, and scary life change for a lot of folks!

Keep the faith.

{{{{hugs}}}}

u really hit the nail with me. i am constantly comparing others thinking there better off than me..i like your strategies--i wish i could etch them to memory

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it's not that i lie in therapy. i have actually been more honest with her than i have with other therapists i have seen and i think she knows me pretty well. it's just the anxiety about being there scrambles my brain. i have this really deep need to make everyone think i'm ok, and when i am not it is really hard for me to talk about it. in the beginning i think i totally drove her nuts cause i would always say things were great before i could talk about anything. some of my experienses are really scarey and hard to explain without totally sounding nuts, and sometimes i am so detached like i am talking about someone else that i worry about how i am being judged. i also can't handle getting emotional. i worry about making people uncomfortable. i know that's totally crazy. i just always feel like such a freak when i get emotional and lose it or need to talk about certain stuff.

I used to "censor" what I told my therapist b/c I was afraid she would think I was a total freak. I mean, who wants to admit that you have a detailed suicide plan or that you hallucinate at times. Or that you hear things. Or have really bizarre thoughts.

After about a year of seeing her, I shared my fears of being completely looney-tunes. She reassured me that she's heard it all. Not only has she heard it all, but what I was telling her was pretty tame stuff.

My advice is to let go. Let it all hang out, as it were.

I understand your aversion to meds...have you tried Omega-3 supplements? Google "omega 3 depression" to find some good research on the subject.

Hang in there, Jett. Please keep posting and take care of yourself.

Wishing you many peaceful thoughts,

Phoenix

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it's not that i lie in therapy. i have actually been more honest with her than i have with other therapists i have seen and i think she knows me pretty well. it's just the anxiety about being there scrambles my brain. i have this really deep need to make everyone think i'm ok, and when i am not it is really hard for me to talk about it. in the beginning i think i totally drove her nuts cause i would always say things were great before i could talk about anything. some of my experienses are really scarey and hard to explain without totally sounding nuts, and sometimes i am so detached like i am talking about someone else that i worry about how i am being judged. i also can't handle getting emotional. i worry about making people uncomfortable. i know that's totally crazy. i just always feel like such a freak when i get emotional and lose it or need to talk about certain stuff.

I used to "censor" what I told my therapist b/c I was afraid she would think I was a total freak. I mean, who wants to admit that you have a detailed suicide plan or that you hallucinate at times. Or that you hear things. Or have really bizarre thoughts.

After about a year of seeing her, I shared my fears of being completely looney-tunes. She reassured me that she's heard it all. Not only has she heard it all, but what I was telling her was pretty tame stuff.

My advice is to let go. Let it all hang out, as it were.

I understand your aversion to meds...have you tried Omega-3 supplements? Google "omega 3 depression" to find some good research on the subject.

Hang in there, Jett. Please keep posting and take care of yourself.

Wishing you many peaceful thoughts,

Phoenix

sorry 4 the double post--still new here:

if your not 1000% honest with your therapist, you will not receive relief. my therapist and i go back 14 yrs..he knows things i couldnt imagine telling someone

1. he/she is there to help you, not commit you--they've heard it all. now if you had irrational thoughts and feel impulsive to hurt others-than your best bet is to check yourself into a hospital

2. medication works wonders, your probably suffering needlessly

3. i do this with my therapist..i am honest that i dont want certain things in my chart, he respects my wishes and puts notes aside till i give him the ok..

this has worked out well

good luck

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I've been inpatient or outpatient for depression/suicidal thoughts for the last five weeks, but finally found the med cocktail to turn it around.

I learned this important lesson: It's more important to do what you need to take care of yourself, than to worry about what anyone thinks.

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I've been inpatient or outpatient for depression/suicidal thoughts for the last five weeks, but finally found the med cocktail to turn it around.

I learned this important lesson: It's more important to do what you need to take care of yourself, than to worry about what anyone thinks.

it tool me a good 4 yrs to find the right meds, i was always diagnosed as General Anxiety until i did an inpatient stint and they changed my DX to Bipolar 2 and began with mood stabilizers...i def have to slow down and take care of myself (well i tan every other day)...thats a hard habit to break to not worry about others opinions--i am working on the low self-esteem of thinking everyone has it made and i am the few who suffers from MI, of course it's irrational, but winning over depression in baby steps help

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