Jump to content

Still can't tell...

Recommended Posts

After however many years of this crap, I still can't tell if it's hypomania or not.

I've been staying up a bit later than usual. Not a LOT later, but noticeably later. My sleep has been more interrupted and I'm waking up earlier.

I've been having trouble with my eating patterns [see: gaining weight like there's no tomorrow] lately but the past couple days I've been pretty apathetic about food. I'm eating but I suddenly don't have the desires anymore. Dessert tastes pretty... whatever. mundane.

I've been tired but been able to find enough energy for work and whatever else I need. I was tired earlier today and could've taken a nap, but I didn't. I came home and it's 3 o'clock and I'm still up. I was up at about 730 this morning.

I was full of bubbliness today and I've been a lot more outgoing at work. But does this just mean I'm getting more comfortable suddenly or what?

I don't know.

Oh. And then I went out and bought a bunch of scratch tickets tonight. Which was kind of a red flag for me. Am I just excited because I'm getting money tomorrow or going crazy?

I'm really frustrated and sick of having to examine my behaviors all the time. I'm glad I don't feel crappy, but I wish I could feel comfortable in however it is that I feel right now.

There is this subhypomanic level, where it's like and orange alert or something. You can feel the energy under your skin but nothing's happening with it yet. Or is that just being normal and having a normal amount of energy and being happy?

I don't know if I am happy as a whole.

I'm confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Luna. I think (and it's not a medical opinion) that you're in an up mood by what you described. As for hypomania ... I like your term subhypomania (better than hypo-hypomania). That would match my "elated" level according to my handy dandy bipolar signs index by color (ie: subhypomania = you are simply happy ... how unusual, huh). Funny how bipolars have to consider if they are just happy -- or about to go over the edge with glee.

You mentioned having at least one "red flag." The trick is to compile a bunch of those, but not just for mania or depression, but also for when you feel normal. They are kind of like "green flags," and are often the ABSENCE of negative symptoms as well as presence of positive. Like, when I feel absolutely no irritability, I know that's a green flag of mine, so I'm probably not depressed, and probably not having irritable hypomania. Therefore I'm in the normal zone, just happy, or having good, clean hypomania! Yay. ;)

It looks like things have changed for the better for you, so you are probably experiencing something normal. You are overthinking it 'cause of the bipolar, but I do that too sometimes (what level am I what level am I what level am I), especially when unsure, and am often unsure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...