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The first time I went on Paxil I was a horn dog as soon as I started taking it. In about 1 month I was in the hospital, hallucinating. Well now I am on Lamictal and now he has added Prozac. I am starting to get horny again and am getting concerned.

What are your first signs when your going to go MANIC.

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Irritated, pissed off at drivers, pedestrians, ringing phones, other people's children.

My eyes feel bulgy.  Really!  And my skin feels hot, and like it's too small for me.

But really the irritability.

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Guest Guest

Yeah thats what happened to me about 1 month in on the paxil before I was hospitalized. Before that I was on top of the world, like I am now. I am three weeks in on the prozac will it all come crashing down. What do you think?

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I usually start feeling a sort of buzz when I get truely manic (not hypo-manic) that is kinda like a tingle, and I feel great. I get an all consuming interest in sex, followed by an extreme interest in everything, especially art. Before I was diagnosed as BP I was on paxil and had my biggest bout of mania ever. Filled with booze, drugs, and lots of things I feel really stupid for doing. However, I was also working 2 jobs and managed to buy a house at the same time. I'd watch out though, having euphoric mania can be fun for a while, but it always comes with a price.

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Thats just it, I fell its probably going to come crashing down from reading threads. I don't want to be hospitalized again, can't think of anything worse. My doc says the lamictal will help with the mania but I don't know. I am feeling to good and euphoric by the minute and am getting scared. I have a perma smile on my face and think everything is amusing. I get a high just looking at stuff.

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Yikes.  Do you have any Seroquel or Zyprexa laying around?  That'll knock you down quick if all of a sudden you are standing on a cliff.

When I start to get manic, I feel a "buzz" as myevilme said.  Then my hands start to shake, I start spending money, need to move constantly, and can't seem to fit in my own skin.  And its all downhill from there.  Or uphill depending on how I look at it at the time.

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I have the wonderful feelings, I'll be doing the typical staying up late with little sleep, go go go...and when I can sorta tell it's going from the "ooh, I like this mania" to the nasty damaging mania when I get the urge to smack someone. Never get to dammit. But...I want to throw, I get extremely irritated and it's always very sudden.

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I would hide the manic just like i hid my depression.  I eventualy went psychotic, which, I found I could not hide. 

I'd yell a little more thats it.  No one noticed. My thoughts would get coocoo. I got like OCD and more energy at the gym.  I would find myself playing pocket pool more too, though as soon as the full on mania hits, the balls fall off the table.

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Oh this is a good topic.  Where on earth to begin!?

Well, my artistic talent takes this mad rush and I can't stop being creative.  I make mad progress on my writing/singing/songwriting....you name it.

My sleep starts out with...six hours...then four...then two hours a night.

Then I either can't stop moving around the house.  I either clean things or move things around...I can't move my furniture like I used to because it's WAY too heavy...or I get to the point where I just forget to clean things and let things go.

I have to get out of the house.  It drives me mad.  I can't be around here for long.  Hence, my artistic abilites start to lack by this time.  It takes about two weeks for this to kick in.

Then my temper gets in the way.  I snap very easily.  Road rage.  Stupid people.  My family gets a lot of my anger shot at them...I try to hold back, but by this time, I can't stop.

A few more weeks.  Still no sleep.  I can't do anything by this time.  Racing thoughts are horrible.  I see things.  I get aggressive.  Believe me, if I were in a relationship, they'd receive all this...and I mean all kinds of aggression, from me yelling at them to sexual aggression.

I cry, I scream, I throw things, I forget things, forget to pay bills, forget to do a lot of things, include, buying important things like food...I forget to eat, if I didn't go to my parents to eat, I wouldn't eat at all.  If I wasn't obsessive about my hygeine (sp?), I'd probably forget about that too.  I forget about appt.'s.  If I don't write things down, I wouldn't go to these appt.'s.  Which I know are VERY important.

I'll listen to aggressive music.  When I'm down...I'll listen to depressing music. 

I'm like a merry-go-round of emotions.  And it gets worse one week before I get my monthly visit from "aunt rose" putting it mildly.  I'm one crazy bitch from hell and can't control myself whatsoever.  I should be locked up for the safety of myself and others to be honest with ya.

And stress!  God, if stress comes up in my world, I over do it in everything.  And I tend to try to mother everyone and try to be there for everyone who needs help, yet I can't help myself...hence, why I went through drug withdrawl this month because I took all my klonopin before the end of the month.  I've never did that before.

I noticed that now that I'm getting older, that my manic moods are longer.  This last time I almost was manic for three months.  It used to be only for a few weeks.  When I see my pdoc, if he doesn't cancel my appt. this month, I HAVE to tell him this.  I need to make some kind of mood diary to keep track of this because my memory is getting really bad now.  Writing on here has helped me keep track of things.  Thank God!

I do scare myself when I'm manic because I keep thinking about how my grandfather was.  He would be manic for at least a year.  I don't want to be like that.  And he was on Lithium and other various meds.  I know I can't be on Lithium because of my kidney disease and plus my body rejects most if not almost all meds.  It totally sucks.

It doesn't help that I'm also a severe rapid cycler and Borderline.  At times I just wanna scream and never stop, but I know that won't help me...it'll just help for that short time.  I also wonder if because I'm also Scotch-Irish/German and a red head if my temper has a lot to do with that.  You know what they always say, we red heads have a serious temper and I've always been a big bitch.  hee hee

Has anyone gotten worse over the years???  Like their manic episodes have gotten longer and whatnot?  Just wondering.  Especially women.  I'm just wondering with changing hormones and premenopause, has that been an issue.  I'm going through premenopause because of my infertility and polycystic ovarian disease.

Elizabeth

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I feel AWAKE, and powerful. Just a bit at first, then it builds and builds. The sexualityu, the money spending sprees, the wild crazy deeds, all that follows.

But first is that I don't sleep as much...and sleep even less...

Then my house is VERY clean. I have super energy and need no sleep! I can conquer all! Suddenly I am a gifted genius, a goddess, and it just gets more and more delusional from there.

I've often mused: is my mania a salvation, a rescue from the deep depression and anxiety attacks that preceed it? When I feel MOST overwhelmed by depression and anxiety, THAT is ACTUALLY the very way I can predict my mania...suddenly, my mind opens up and I am alive, awake, powerful, and so potent that nothing could evern stop me!

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Oh how could I forget the compulsive shopping!!!???  Damn, that was so stupid of me to forget that!  I go crazy and buy the stupidest things!!!  I come home and I'm like, shit!  I forgot to buy catfood and blah blah blah.  Why on earth did I buy this????  Did I really need this???

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OH my, yes, how could I forget as well.  I still have some painting/art supplies from a $500 spree I had five years ago. Oy. It's why I buy money orders for my rent so I can get it out of my account and paid so I don't spend it.

Oh how could I forget the compulsive shopping!!!???  Damn, that was so stupid of me to forget that!  I go crazy and buy the stupidest things!!!  I come home and I'm like, shit!  I forgot to buy catfood and blah blah blah.  Why on earth did I buy this????  Did I really need this???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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Hey, guest, sorry I didn't answer your initial question, although hopefully by now you've found an answer elsewhere.  You said you're on lamictal and your doc added paxil.  Question is, how much lamictal?  If you're just starting it, it may not have yet kicked in as a mood stabilizer; in fact, it has AD properties for many of us at low doses.  Once you get up to the magical "therapeutic dose" for BP, it's pretty good for many as a stabilizer.  But if you've added paxil while still beginning the titration for lamictal, you may be running unprotected by a stabilizer.

Question is, why paxil?  SSRIs sound pretty bad for BP.  Wellbutrin is documented as a good AD for BP; it gives me no problem so long as I'm on a stabilizer with it.

Just some thoughts.  Hope you're ok!

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Then my temper gets in the way.  I snap very easily.  Road rage.  Stupid people.  My family gets a lot of my anger shot at them...I try to hold back, but by this time, I can't stop.

A few more weeks.  Still no sleep.  I can't do anything by this time.  Racing thoughts are horrible.  I see things.  I get aggressive.

I cry, I scream, I throw things, I forget things, forget to pay bills, forget to do a lot of things, include, buying important things like food...I

I'll listen to aggressive music.  When I'm down...I'll listen to depressing music. 

I'm like a merry-go-round of emotions.  And it gets worse one week before I get my monthly visit from "aunt rose" putting it mildly.  I'm one crazy bitch from hell and can't control myself whatsoever.  I should be locked up for the safety of myself and others to be honest with ya

Apologies to Elizabeth for taking these words directly, but they described me exactly.

In my own words:

Very twitchy, nerves start feeling raw, as if they're directly exposed to the world, can't sit still, people start irritating the hell out of me, thoughts start going off on mad tangents (worse than usual; since I usually have trouble holding on to a single train of thought anyway), constantly thinking of things that have to be done, sensory issues go out of control (eg certain fabrics I can't take against my skin), husband's voice starts driving me crazy, complete panic overdrive at the thought of work... err, can you tell I'm heading into this phase right now..?

;)

And I feel fucking responsible for everyone and everyone's problems and for solving them and I don't understand why they expect me to; although maybe they don't, but that's what it feels like and I'm sick of being in the middle of everyone and expected to mediate and fix everyone else's screw ups and aaaaaaaagh (can't see pdoc soon enough; next appt is Tues and my cocktail is doing shit right now (trileptal, lamictal, valium) )

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I become hyperaware of everything. I feel like I can see flies on the wall. Then I can't sleep then I become irritable and freaked out about everything. I don't have any money but when I did I went on shopping sprees for  a crapload of "necessary" things.  Then I get angry and tearful. After that it's all bad stuff.

Lilie

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... I am starting to get horny again and am getting concerned.

What are your first signs when your going to go MANIC.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah, that's about my first sign right there...

Beware anyone male, you are now a potential target for *me*.

Luckily, I am by nature way too shy and submissive to act on those thoughts a good deal of the time, and I have the added barrier of kids to think about... but man oh man... yeah... I have gotten around nonetheless.

Next sign, no sleep... chat rooms are my *friends*.

Right after that... spending money I don't have on things I don't need.  One good thing about having crappy credit and no money... it keeps me out of debt for the most part.

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I get happy as hell, Funny, class clown type of thing, hypersexual, want to party/drink, do drugs, all night long, engage in risky self destructive activities. Can drink longer than anyone else. Absolutely nothing is a challange (once my hangover goes away). Nothing is insurmountable.  Can turn the charm on & off at will. (kinda like Mr. Jones in the movie, Mr. Jones. One of the best movies about MI ever). Then I buy shit I don't need, or later even want. Then one of those things a few weeks ago that are no problem brings me crashing down, like the phone bill I forgot to pay or the visa bill...oops... or the car needs fixing, then I get pissed off at the smallest things & rage. And quickly fall into the dark pit of despair & self-loathing.

These each will last for 2 - 6 months. Yah, where is time to be on an even keel. If I was on one I wouldn't be able to recognize it, or it goes by so fast it isn't worth mentioning.

Now that I read that I think Yeeech, how can anyone live like that? Sheeeesh!

Scarlet, your question on length of episode. I am not female, but will add my 2 cents anyway. Yes, they are getting longer, & more destructive/self-destructive, or I should say extreme in scale as I get older. Sorry for the bad news. But hey, it could just be me, remember that.

Be well.

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