Would you rather be depressed or manic/hypo

[alex]

Thought I'd throw out these Qs at you all. I think for myself personally I find the highs more intolerable. It is as if I am set to "low" by something genetic. Actually I don't gets highs unless I'm on meds.

What I've noticed is that, time seems harder to pass when hypomanic, so it seems to last longer. Also the brain does that flight of thought and idea thing, and the body gets tired trying to follow along.

I'd rather be depressed than manic. At least you can sit and let time drift by. Not the best strategy, but seems better to me than the starting of the dozen projects, sometimes actually finishing them, then the listless tiredness. Split between getting up to do more or try to rest, both seemingly impossible.

By the way I think Abilify is doing that to me. Just went to 5mg recently. Back to 2.5 today 'cause of hypomanic symptoms.

[Silver]

I'd much rather be depressed than mixed or manic.

I don't run a Panzer squad of destruction through my life when I'm depressed. I don't want to take everyone with me on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

[withing]

Since my full-blown manias include screaming fits of nearly uncontrollable rage... I'd rather not have those, thanks much. My deep-down lows are fairly quiet, and I can pretty much control them.

Since I'm a rapid cycler, and don't keep a mood log very often, or for very long when I do, I can't really say which I have more frequently than the other. Half the time, I'm not even aware I'm *in* a mild depression or hypomania until I am coming out of it or someone points out that I'm not acting quite right.

[isis]

i find lows the worst. i'd rather be manic - although mixed is hell too. I can deal with angry/happy easier than total despair. I appreciate my life more when i'm not depressed. Both are equally dangerous for me i think. I think i cause other people less stress when i am depressed, however just for me, i prefer to be high. and i may be thinking that more because i am depressed at the moment.

[Anna]

i find lows the worst. i'd rather be manic - although mixed is hell too. I can deal with angry/happy easier than total despair. I appreciate my life more when i'm not depressed. Both are equally dangerous for me i think. I think i cause other people less stress when i am depressed, however just for me, i prefer to be high. and i may be thinking that more because i am depressed at the moment.

When i depressed, the idea of a nice manicc episode sounds wonderful Of coursel when I'm manic, I crave depression.

When I am in a euthymic sata I would choose neither, as they both looik horrible. FWIW, family membets and fiends have state that I have gotten looks of such intense pain over my face that they would never have imagined it. Iall the thoughts) So there is outward corroboration for me that mania is Bad.

e

IF I could pick a state to be in all the time-- mild hypomania. Very very mild with no major sx.`

anna

[raining]

I prefer manic.

My mania's are quite well controlled, and easy to terminate, and are mostly enjoyable.

Depression is difficult to pull out of, and takes time (antidepressants are slower than antipsychotics)

Depression is a suicide risk.

r.

[MaryPoppins]

Well, I've been semi stable now for about three months on 9 meds. And then I got depressed and suicidal two days ago, which is how my depression goes. So 10 meds later, let's hope Cymbalta works its magic. I'd much rather be hypo. I get much more done, am more outgoing, and my thought process is much faster. When I'm depressed or especially in a mixed state I'm pretty dangerous to myself.

[Whirrled Peas]

I'm probably hypo more than anything else, which is far preferable to the other options.

[Drugz]

I'm more low than anything, although mixed comes quite close.

I guess since i experience them more i crave a little mania or hypo, this slump gets old. Fast.

[wake me when i'm dead]

i'll take depression, please.

it's much gentler on my bank account and doesn't trigger the brilliantly destructive squirrels. scorched earth, baby! the wake of that meteorological disturbance can be frightful. it's just easier to sleep through it all - even if that means going off the grid for months or years. the slow but predictable destructiveness and chaos has never landed me in an island nation with no idea how i got there and a key card to a hotel room in one pocket and a big wad of cash in the other.

[mejeba]

that's an interesting question. because the answer for me is rather complex.

when i'm low i think i want to be high. but my 'highs' are usually mixed agitation, irritability, and anxiety. then i want to be sad and lost in hopelessness again. not to the point of despair, of course, but i forget that it always tags along.

recently i began taking Wellbutrin and once up to doseage, immediately began an ongoing 'light' high which was a huge relief from all the other stuff. i say 'light' because the euphoria was not getting me into any trouble. that lasted a few months but has now tapered off to a kind of BLAH normal.

I find anger/rage a relief too, until it settles down and remorse sets in.

[Anodyne Oblivion]

My depression is much worse than the usual style of mania I experience.

I'd rather be depressed than in mixed episodes though. I get mixed more than outright hypo/mania.

When the mania is bad (not often), it's about equally annoying as the depression. My poor credit score. :'(

[ehygon]

I find the lows the most intolerable. I find myself experiencing chronic low moods, often riddled with suicidal thoughts and absolute despair. It's hard to do anything, and I never feel more alone and hopeless than when I'm seriously depressed.

My highs are sometimes enjoyable. I feel friendly, and euphoric, I do productive things, and just love every minute. I've never done anything during a happy mania that could have gotten me in trouble. I have other elevated moods though, mostly consisting of anxiety and agitation. The kind where you just want to peel your skin off and scream as loud/long as you can. Even then, those states are more tolerable than depression, because they don't last forever.

[rowen]

I've never had a destructive hypomania, so I'll take that as opposed to depression. I was pretty close to killing myself when I was depressed, whereas I've been euphoric and productive during hypomania.

Dysphoric hypomania wasn't particularly fun...but I'd still take that over depression. Depression was just so damn horrible...I shudder when I think about how I used to feel...

[Anelize]

Interesting poll. For me, dysphoric mania is absolutely the worst state. Hell, euphoric mania is kinda fucked too, considering the amount of money I spent during the last one. Then again, hypomania is lovely. I get lots of work done, feel great, etc., but the kicker is there's no way to maintain that. It always ends up in a big, bad mania. So, I take Seroquel, which I hate, but it works pretty well at controlling my mania.

I haven't had a depression in quite a while. Effexor and Lamictal seem to keep that under control pretty well.

I live 80% of my time in a fairly balanced state--the other 20% sucks, LOL.

[Mechante]

Everyone thinks I'm at my best when I'm mildly hypomanic, so I'll go with that.

[Thomas]

My highs are extremely infrequent, so I'm usually dealing with depression (most of the time) and mixed episodes. I hate the depression because it is just full of despair and suicidal thoughts. All my hospitalizations have been for depression or mixed episodes. I have been very stable for the last 3 months and really like it much better

Tommy

[Hibachi Ho]

It's "funny" how so many of us think the grass is greener, whichever side of the fence we're on. I'm in my first long-term depressive state, I wish to be manic and not be afraid of life, but I was manic about two months ago (when I stopped taking Depakote because it was making me a zombie) and spent all my money, almost cheated on the boyfriend again (3 guys started talking to me then, wtf?) and basically started adding lots of lithium to chill out. It worked, I'm depressed again, and my liver enzymes are high. And I got dumped last night because I guess he can't handle dating someone who has no libido because she thinks life is shit these days. Soooo whatever. I think I'm quitting my job today. I guess I'm clearing out whatever might be adding onto the misery. That might be a mistake but it's time to grow some balls and make a decision instead of living in limbo, afraid to trust myself.

[alex]

Thanks to everyone the replied. Please, keep on posting replies

It was looking like mania was going to win out in the beginning, but not it seems pretty clear that depression is more intolerable to most.

By the way, I didn't include "mixed moods" in "which is most intolerable" because I assumed most people would pick this, and then there would be no clear answer towards either mania or depression.

I think now, after seeing everyone's answers, that my hypomania/mania is intolerable because the kind that it is. There are probably wildly different flavors of mania as there are of depression. Different feelings and characteristics associated with each depending on one's personality and pharmacocktail.

It was probably my Abilify that was causing the nervous, listless mania which originally spawned this question. I can imagine hating depression more if my (hypo)mania was always clean and productive, as Paxil made it to be (but Paxil stopped working 4 me after about 5 years == poopout).

[Yombotolompi]

I love the manic side of my bipolar disorder - but my wife, friends and bosses don't. Nobody likes the down and outs, though.

As an artist I find myself at the peak of my creative abilities when I'm up. Conversely, when I'm down I can't get into painting or writing or picking up my camera.

My drug regimen doesn't really mitigate my bipolar symptoms at all, in my opinion. But wifey says they do and can tell when I miss a day.